This I also agree with. None of us on here are even remotely qualified to counsel you. Help you? I'll try, but if you are truly interested in what is best for the future of your M, perhaps getting some counseling with the Harley's is the best place to start.

I am going to caution posters against lecturing board members on this thread. If any lecturing is to take place, it will come from the moderating team! That is our job, not yours.

These types of threads usually explode when posters lecture each other about their posts and we are going to avoid that here. We are watching this thread and expect posters to notify us if you have a concern about another post.

Hold,

I certainly don't have all the answers. But yes, I think it is best that the adultery partners separate - ?maybe not even divorce?, but certainly separate. And yes, correct, when they are no longer sleeping with each other AND they have determined that their behavior was wrong and are repulsed by it - and they have now changed how they think regarding adultery, then yes, they are no longer active adulterers.

No, I don't think kids are at all confused about right and wrong until adults muddy the waters for them. Kids are very able to understand rules, especially when they have adults actively teaching them and modeling moral behavior. What is devastating to children is to do things in front of them that make them question their instincts. Kids know that their parents are not supposed to have a girlfriend or boyfriend when they are married, what confuses them is when one of their parents does this and then tries to legitimize it to them. Officially calling "wrong", "right". As MelodyLane has pointed out, this creates moral confusion and causes children to question their own instincts and THAT is VERY harmful.

Mrs. W

P.S. Hitchhiker, the "judge not, lest ye be judged" means that we are to judge others in the manner/by the same standard in which we expect to be judged. I absolutely expect to be judged by the standard that adultery is wrong, always. Therefore, I do not fear making that judgment.

And Hitchhiker, the advice I have been giving on this thread is the same advice that I would want to be given if I were to be in the situation that DeppJones has put himself in. My conscience is clear about the advice that I am giving on this thread.

Mrs. W

I always agree that calling the Harleys is a wise choice. I will say also though, that I DO feel qualified to speak out about the evils of adultery. I am a former adulterer. I would not wish that on anyone. It is a horrible path and I would do everything in my power to help someone turn from it.

Mrs. W

I am surprised that we would disagree on how to deal with this situation now, FHL. If you agree that unrepentant adulterers do not enter the Kingdom of Heaven, then wouldn't you agree that the kindest course of action would be to convince this man to stop committing adultery? I can't imagine anything else making sense to a Christian.

Mrs. W

**EDIT**

moderators note: this is the last warning I will give and then the thread will be locked. If you have a problem with the posts of other board members, they should notify the moderators rather than lecture other posters. If you feel there has been harassment, notify the moderators and let us handle it. That is our job, not yours!

Please get back to this OP's marriage. This thread is not about each other, but about this OP's marriage. If you have an issue with the posting mannerisms of others, notify the moderators and let us handle it.

Thanks

Seek God, and call the Harleys.

May you find an answer for everyones sake.

LOL, CP.

I gave up on this thread a long time ago, as did the OP apparently.

HOLD, I share the same questions. There is no amount of judgement or works that will undo the adultery. There are no worldly actions that can be taken to "make it all better". It is truly a miserable scenario with no easy answers.

Contrary to the interpretation of some Scriptures referred to in other posts, I do not believe that our emphasis should be placed on paths of judgement, condemnation, or somehow undoing adultery, but rather on God's saving Grace whenever we are faced with such incredibly hurtful sins such as adultery. There is simply no practical way that I can see for the OP to work his way out of this from a Christian perspective as I feel some others have alluded to.

To the OP, do you ascribe to any particular faith? I can only speak from my own experience, and my own views of the Bible, but I feel that finding Christ by God's Grace through faith, could be one good place to start. While others may disagree, I feel that ultimately all of Scripture is meant to point us toward Christ, and Christ alone, and that none of us is in any position to judge you. We are to leave judgement to our Lord, simply put (see Matthew 7:1 and appropriate commentary for more detailed explanation - or if you are amenable I can post such commentary here)

Since we've got quite a few posts on this thread now with no response from the OP, I think I'm going to now wait it out and see if we hear back from him or if he turns out to be a one post kinda guy.

**EDIT**

We're done, folks!