Please note I said I was freaked out and worried about how I will look. I did NOT say that worry was going to keep me from having my son seen by a professional. His appt is next week.

My dh just told me that when we were bowling Saturday night that ds smashed himself in the head with his fist twice because he bowled poorly. I didn't see THAT, but I was dealing with ds the ENTIRE night about how upset he was because he couldn't bowl as well as the other boys with us. This is typical...he wants to do everything perfect or at least better than others. He can go from the depths of despair to ecstatic in an instant if things suddenly go his way.

Right now he is enjoying the lego sets his dad bought him last night and very happy. He has already done an hour on line math session with his teacher and other students, but we have to get busy on the rest of of his school work....I can promise you that as soon as it is time to sit down with school work his mood will change DRASTICALLY.

So I don't know. He did ask me last night when I was tucking him in/saying prayers if he was a horrible person for stabbing himself. I assured him he wasn't a horrible person---then asked him why he did that? He said he didn't know...just that it felt good. But he is sad he did it.

Smiling Woman,

I have an a 9 year old. One of the things I have found works really well with him is to ask him, "What did you see going on that caused you to do that?" Then, listen to the answer and ask him, "What will you do differently next time?" See what you get and you may get answers to help him through what he's feeling.

All the best

How old is your son? The thing is ds is 11. I think he is old enough to have his needs delayed for 15 minutes. If not I am in real trouble....





Yes, I point this out to ds too. Point out to him that I am with him more than the majority of mothers get to be with their children. And I WANT to be with him. But I do also point out to him that he is not the center of the universe....that as he gets older he needs to be learning that other people have needs and wants too. That it is not always just about him. (that will bring on saddness (that sometimes seems contrived to me) about how he doesn't want to grow up.) The thing is a lot of his drama is very similar to how I ACTED. I often ACTED much more dramatic than I felt. I guess it is attention seeking behavior. So back to the question of why does he seek so much attention?


Does the counselor think you should be doing these things your son is asking for? Ds does this too.....asks for things over and over that he has been told no to. A phone, another dog, things that aren't going to happen and are NOT requirements for a healthy happy childhood. Or complain about not being as good on the piano as his friend....and woe is ds who is not good at ANYTHING that anyone cares about. I told him just the other day, 'If you want to be really good at something you have to put a lot of time into practicing it....your friend spends HOURS practicing the piano and improving his natural skill/ability (ds has it too)...but if you don't want to practice for hours than you can't reasonably complain that you aren't as good as the boy who does.'

Is that so off base to say to him? I'm not a competitve mom...I don't push him to 'be the best' or 'beat everyone.' I've always encouraged him to be conscientious and to do his best at whatever he does...I encourage character improvement mostly....to be kind, generous, loving.....so where all this competitivness is coming from I don't know.




Yeah, I am feeling like the worst mother ever this morning. Sick feeling in my stomach over this.

I DO this. His answers are usually that things aren't fair, that a playmate was lying, being mean spirited, getting away with something....yesterday his friend finished his schoolwork much sooner than ds...ds insisted that his friend was lying about having finished it....I told him that might be but it isn't ds's problem or mine...that the friend will have to answer to his mother about it. Ds wants something DONE about that sort of thing. And he gets REALLY angry when I won't make things right (according to him)

Have you asked him "what" he wants you to do in each instance? Put it back on him to tell you what it is he thinks you should do and then explain why you can't.

BTW, your description of your son could well have been me describing mine. My son has been seeing a counselor and I am seeing remarkable improvement. I have also ordered the program Total Transformation and am hoping it will give me more ideas.

SmilingWoman, when I was a kid and being sexually abused, I used to cut myself, sit on the porch in blizzards and refuse to come inside, other things like that. I did these things to myself as a cry for help, but that was as far as I could take it. It was done to get my parents' attention. It alarmed, upset and frustrated them to no end. They would ask why I would do these things and I couldn't articulate my feelings. I didn't have the vocabulary or the maturity to get out what was happening to me, so I misdirected them with my replies. (Long story - I hope this makes sense!)

I never had counseling. I think a counselor skilled in childhood issues could have helped me.

What I'm saying is that I think YOU are his go-to person for his hurts. He just can't tell you why he's hurting. I hope you get him to a counselor for help.

I am going to. I have a name of a counselor and will be seeing his regular doctor next week too.

What do you think caused all of this in the first place with your son?

That says a lot about where your concerns are to me. How do you think it appears to your son?

***edit***

SHUT UP!

I got the name last night. Late. I AM taking care of it.

I am being honest about how I FEEL---but I am NOT denying my son emergency medical attention to protect my image, so STOP it!

Btw, did you read the part where the wound is very superficial? He isn't bleeding to death from the wound. It is a scrape.

And yes, in case I wasnt clear....and since you aren't reading my thread carefully...I DO have an appt for next week with his regular doctor. ALREADY made.

So what would you do, take him to the emergency room? Seriously?

And no you aren't worried about YOUR image--just your husbands.

With a GP?

If you broke your foot, would you see your gynecologist?

What are you doing, SW???

Your CHILD STABBED HIMSELF IN THE NECK. And you're taking him to a pediatrician, next week. Hello, painting the bathroom on a sinking Titantic.

Is this really your best?

Please refrain from personal attacks! I am watching this thread and I don't like where it's heading. Let's get back on track and help this poster with her son.

Seriously? Yes, I would recognize that as a symptom of something bigger than I could handle and I would reach for help, immediately.

Seriously, I'm not joking or trying to play with you, your child attempted suicide, as poorly executed as it was. If you think waiting a week to speak to his pediatrician is a smart move, well, I question that.

I have a pediatrician I can speak to the same day I call. I fired the one I couldn't. I do not wait for second opinions on my children's lives. I ask for input, absolutely, but when it comes to life or death (THIS WAS A SUICIDE ATTEMPT), I'm not waiting a week for an opinion from a physical doctor on whether my child needs help.

*edit

*edit

Oh good grief. He did not attempt suicide.

Self harm is serious but it is RARELY suicidal.

I have been seeing several things lately that concern me about my son's health... I HAVE called his pediatrician a couple of times and discussed issues with his nurse....she thought we could wait on his regular yearly check up (at that time was aout 6 weeks out). This incident with him stabbing/scraping his neck happened less than 24 hours ago. I consulted a friend of mine who is a psych nurse to determine how serious this type of stuff might be...He thought I should take him in to a counselor...he did NOT think it was an emergency situation. Then I had to make calls to the insurance company and then calls to the counselor....So 4 hours into the next business day I DO have an appt for ds.

I hate that I am defending myself to you, so I wish you would go away and let other people who are CONCERNED about my life and my son help.

I don't know where you get the idea that I'm not concerned about your son or your life. I am concerned about both. But I'll leave you alone. ***edit***