ill look into it. i cannot guarantee i will do this. i hate to throw money away right now as its hard to come by as it is. I don't think he even has a computer. that is why im not really convinced there is an issue here. She is never secretive about what she is doing online. never. The phone on the other hand well that's a different story

i got her to commit to work on things for 4 months this morning with no contact. I don't know that i believe she will give all or any effort. Im just trying to prolong nc with om and let things settle. right now she has 0% interest in repairing damage. From what you all say this is normal so im praying you are right.

i gave her phone back to her. It would of made for a lot less stress on me yesterday wandering where the flip she was. I can monitor it online and i might as well be able to watch that and let her have it then her go a different direction and drive it deeper.

Do you have any spyware on it to record texts/phone calls received and made?

no, after i smashed her original i went and got her a 20$ go phone from wal mart and put her sim in it. makes more of a pain for her to text:) and i didnt see spending a lot on something i may want to smash again. her contract is up next month and if things are better i will get a better phone. She is meeting her mom at costco and she confirmed with me that she will give the next 4 months a shot.

lostman - hang in there! Breathe!

its all i can do. i have people praying for a miracle everywhere. She is supposed to get a counselor session set up tomorrow. this counselor has been in my very shoes and he is there to restore marriages. Im not giving up this site as my weapon though. it has helped me more that anyone will know. AndyM, you hang in there as well.

There was another phone at one time that you found in her purse right? One she did not have activated or something like that? I think we discussed whether she hid the simcard or something.

I bring this up because she was not above getting another phone and hiding it from you.

As long as she has the, "Its over" attitude, she is still more on the other side of the fence than on your side emotionally.

A GPS and VAR is in order to ensure NC. Every time there is contact it resets the emotional clock inside her. She might never contact him again, but if she does, and you know about it, it will help you to read why she is acting certain ways, now that your heart is on this precipice.

I know this stinks, but you will do everything to fight for her right? Its really rough when your partner pulls the rug from under you. Hang tough.

And, they make these SIM card readers that allow you to download any deleted texts. Here it is...

http://www.brickhousesecurity.com/cellphone-spy-simcardreader.html

i have the other phone that she bought. ive been using it to text my friends and contact people. I cant use my work cell phone for all of this.

If i see that she has started talking i may invest in the reader. ON the other hand it will be bye bye phone again.

Yes, she keeps pulling on the rug. thats for sure.

if she is truly like the typical WW. how long till she starts coming around? the A was 4 months and she is still wrapped around his finger. Its been 9 days since exposure and i dont think there has been more contact.

When she realizes feelings are appreciators not rulers in our life, and when she starts putting them in thier place, behind the truth, and reality. That might take some time, to start coming around anyway. 9 days out things sound normal. think in terms of months, and years.

Its the battle for the mind.

If you are worried about the cost of a key logger ... try the free one at www.desktopshark.com Its pretty good and will not alarm your antivirus. I use it to monitor my kids on my pc.

9 days isn't a long time, lost. It could be a few months. This is a marathon, friend.

well tonight she went to play vball again. It was a buy night but another team asked her to come play. I said okay since she said this is her escape. We put the kids in bed and there she goes. Ha, I have my brother in law show up at the game. oh guess what, shes not there. Get a text from her and the first game is getting ready to start. He goes inside, oh wait, shes not there. Call up the inlaws and tell them to come get her when she gets home. I keep sending her text letting her know i know shes there playing and everything is okay. Father in law goes over to the vball center just to make sure and guess what, shes not there. She called and got busted. Dont know if she will come home now or not. Father in law is on standby to come get her.

Sorry to hear that Lostman. Let Daddy deal with her tonight, I don't think she can pull much over on him.

Prayin for ya Sir.

lost - sorry to hear about that situation, but be happy that you have a supportive family. I wish I had that in my case - I have the polar opposite in fact. My MIL is enabling her daughter's escape.

I'm about 10 days ahead of you, but in the same place. There's been no let up, in fact, tonight was the worst night in a while. At the suggestion of the people here, I called my MIL yesterday and we chatted for 30 minutes or so. Well, that got back to WW today and there was hell to pay for me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that this is a long road with many bumps. We're just getting started on this journey, for better or worse.

Sorry to hear that, Lost. Any idea where she was?

Good thing your in-laws are on board so your kids don't have to see or hear this stuff tonight.

Take care, we're thinking about you.

Well she got home and told me her game was canceled so they went to wild wings. I asked who and she told me the vball friends. I asked why did you lie(father in law not here yet) she said i wouldnt of let her go if i knew the truth. I said your lying, pack your bags your out of here(i here father in law pull in). She blew a gasket and made a mad dash for the car and i followed. She was going to split town. We even wrestled for the keys! I asked her for the names of the friends and she told me. I called them up and no they werent with her. She admitted she was with OM and that me and FIL were being crazy to make her go with him. She then started spouten that she hates me more than ever and now it will be a fight for the kids. Thats when my FIL said he will have the best lawyer money can buy to make sure you dont. It was nasty, and i somewhat enjoyed the fact that i didnt have to try to make piece at that moment.

No harm was done during the wrestling, just frantically trying to get those keys out of the ignition while she was trying to get car started. I thought it was quite comical the way she was lying through her teeth. So much for this going the right way.

Thanks for the prayers. She has really dug herself into a corner. I dont know if there will be a mend to this one or not. MIL said i should go see the counselor tomorrow and do some talking. what a night