Hi, V. I can see by the rest of your thread you have a lot more going on than how to use "I feel" statements. Others are handling that. However, I don't think this has been offered yet.

You used an "I feel" statement to make an accusation. The give away was the word "because." A fabulous book I read really helped me understand how to use "I feel" statements and where most people go wrong.

You started off strong. You used an emotion after the words "I feel." Most people do not. They mostly use the word "feel" to mean "thought." "I feel you were unfair to me," is an example. So, you started ahead of the game. However, you did accuse him of being untruthful in the clause that followed: because you were not being entirely honest with me. Forget whether this was an accurate statement or not for the moment. The better way to handle it if you want to open up a dialog would be to have followed up with a factual action of his. "I feel concerned when you call me up to tell me you are working late." Or "I felt anxious when you said you lost the credit card statement." These statements are scrubbed of any assumptions about his motivation and any blame by you.

That said, if your spouse, or anyone else for that matter, is highly manipulative, the most proper statement in the world won't stop them from twisting the situation around.

I remember my ex claimed that when I said I didn't want to do something he did, and that it would make me unhappy, I was making selfish demands. I didn't say he couldn't do what he wanted, I just didn't want to do it, especially on my birthday. My ex also saw ANY disagreement as an angry outburst or disrespectful judgment. Look out for that kind of destructive behavior. Don't get sucked in.