|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
Nice work. I'm with you, Andy - I've mentally revised my thoughts about exposure when they don't work together. Good points!
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 355
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 355 |
I exposed at work, husband and OW were investigated for misuse of company resources. I wanted him to get fired. He did not. She does not work for him any longer, but both are at the same company, they can no longer travel together. Trade shows and company meeting are OK. I wish more was done. Embarrasment was probably the worst because I sent an email to the CEO. Put stress on them but they are still together.
My advice EXPOSE. I do not regret it.
Me BW 43 / WH 44
2 DS 7 and 4
D day 8-2010
Asked him to leave 9-10
Exposed 11-10
FR 1-2011
Back with OW / In Plan B 2-11
False Recovery Back in Plan B 7-12
Divorced
Better Life in Progress!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
mehr, DrH wrote that book to be a generalized type of book. You are here, asking for help with your own sitch. We have suggested exposure to work place. If you believe that DrH would suggest differently for you, give him a shout out on his radio show.
I exposed at the workplace, and they both still work there(as far as I know since I am in Plan B). I don't regret it one bit. Do you know what I DO regret about my exposure? I feel I could have done it more effectively.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,719
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,719 |
MB - thanks. I do believe it had an impact on OM. Most of us try to cultivate a good, responsible persona at work and being in an affair would complicate that somehow - I have a feeling. I heard from HR, because one of the managers forwarded the email to her. She also told me that there was nothing they could do, which I knew. I'd like to think that it had an effect on him - his professional reputation is at stake and he's in his early 50s. Not exactly easy to start over at that age. According to WW (not a reliabe source I know) he's refused all contact with her. Her actions, emails and VAR are consistent with that.
BS(me)- 45
WW - 41
D-day 1 - (PA) 01/2011
DS - 6
Exposure: early 02/2011
Started Plan B - 7/11
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455 |
MB - thanks. I do believe it had an impact on OM. Most of us try to cultivate a good, responsible persona at work and being in an affair would complicate that somehow - I have a feeling. I heard from HR, because one of the managers forwarded the email to her. She also told me that there was nothing they could do, which I knew. I'd like to think that it had an effect on him - his professional reputation is at stake and he's in his early 50s. Not exactly easy to start over at that age. According to WW (not a reliabe source I know) he's refused all contact with her. Her actions, emails and VAR are consistent with that. I agree with Andy...even though XH did not get fired or OW, XH was removed from his supervisory position and it put a cloud on both of their careers. I did it to save my M but again it was too little, too late. Stop delaying and "do".
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,455 |
Me 55, XWH 53, M 22 years
D17, D30
alien replaces my husband "I'm not happy" -7/08
Discover OW-8/08 (his direct report and I work there also)
H moves out 10/1/08, confront Ow 10/28/08
Plan B 1/09
D final 12/09
Quote: "First thing you do is pray; when there is nothing else to do, continue to pray."
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
1 members (Lokire),
699
guests, and
69
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,522
Members72,028
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
