If I do I will wait for a short while. She is busy getting her daily stuff set up to live alone. Once that is done is when I woill have a better chance of seeing what is really going on. Any idea on how much a PI costs??

Depends of course. Plan to spend several hundred. Get a referral from your attorney. I opened the phone book and hired someone who turned out to be WORTHLESS. I got ALL my intel on my own.

We'll see how it goes. I ended up with most everything so far. We will have to see how the budget turns out. Thanks SW

Might have had a break thru in finding out who the OM is. I think I know the name, address and where he works. That would have been how they met. I just now have to get proof. Not sure about his marital status but on facebook his picture is with another woman. I think I have actually met them before and they are friends with some of my friends. How the knot tightens... I won't reveal anything yet until I have some solid evidence.

good job keep snooping and don't reveal anything yet

I think I have the right name just the wrong address. I may have to ask a person who knows the OM but they are not good friends with the OM. I will wait to see what I can dig up myself. I saw my WW at the gym when i went there to work out. Waved at her but that was it. WW came to pick up my daughter last night and we just kept conversation light. No relationship talk. The way she acts now is like she is liking this seperation and she is in her own little world buying stuff for the apt. etc. Makes me want to go out and find a realationship just to let her hurt also. I'm not that kind of person so I won't be doing that. Two wrongs do not make it right.

Feeling a little down today. Will power is not as strong as I would hoped it would be today. I want to call my WW and ask her to come back home and work on our marriage, love and family. I know she would say no but I miss her and the kids very much. Day time isn't bad but the quite evenings are very lonely. I pray for God to give me the strength to appear, at least to her, that I am doing fine. I wish this was just a bad dream. I am starting to tell our friends that WW has moved out of our home. I also tell them about the past affair and that i believe it is still going on. I know I played a role in my W being unhappy but I did not make her a have an affair which is or can be the worst thing a spouse can do.

Wait a sec - she didn't take the kids with her when she left, did she?

I have the kids back this weekend. At least the youngest daughter and I will have her all week. As it is I have her every day after school as I am the one who is off work early enough to pick her up. For now it is suppose to be half the time with me and half the time with her.

So I'm assuming your just separated now...not divorced correct?

Correct. She has been out of the house for 5 days now. Had a pleasant conversation with her yesterday for about an hour when she picked up our D. My daughter and I were discussing this weekend and what we should do. We decided to have a good dinner and have a fire in the back yard. Because my W was there during this I asked if she cared to joing us. She quickly said yes and said she would bring something for dinner also. Not sure if I like this idea of having her come over. Sounds like having your cake and eating it! Maybe the weather will be bad and we cancel our plans. I do miss her and would like to spend time together but I do not know if it is to soon. Not sure if this is a date??????????

You are not in Plan B, you're in Plan A, correct? That's when you show her how pleasant it is to be around you. Sure - have her over. And make a really great meal. Make sure the house is tidy, and DD is around. No relationship talk. You want her to leave there with good memories of the evening.

Will do. I'm not going all out like romantic. Everything will be pleasant and fun (weather depending) otherwise I know good movie with popcorn is something she likes. Plan A is what I'm in afterall!

Well not much to report. I picked up my DD from practice and brought her home and cooked her dinner. My WW stopped to pick her up and because dinner was ready I asked her if she wanted join us. She stayed and actually had a second helping. Conversation was light and when they left not much was said. I thanked her for having dinner with us. She asked if I could give DD a ride to school on Friday. I said sure, and asked her about our neighbor girl because we always gave her a ride also. Upon discussion we decided that our DD will come and spend the night at my home tonight which is two days befor she was scheduled to come and stay with me. Makes me wonder what she is up to on Friday night???? I believe my other older DD will still be staying with her. My older DD keeps pretty good tabs on WW.

I think if I have a chance I am going to put the GPS in wifes car again.

Well my wife went to a party last night at one of her girlfriends house. She went with two other girl friends. The other two are my friends also. At least married to two of my friends and these were couples we would hang out with alot. I'm sure she was probably man bashing me telling them how bad the marriage was etc. I realize this could be, in her mind justifying her actions to have the affair which I have no proof but still believe they are in contact. She says she has no contact with OM... Anyways I don't believe she would talk to the girlfriends about the affair but they do know about it. Not sure how much support I have from them. Oh well if they think about it they know that I am a good man and a good husband who loves his W and wants to make the marriage work. Tomorrow she is coming for dinner at our house. I hope it goes well!

Just filled out the emotional needs questionaire. Hard to be totaly clear headed on some of my answers. I hope to ask her to fill hers out tonight. We have dinner tomorrow and may not discuss this as I just want tomorrow to be a good time with her. Time to do some more reading of HNHN and SAA tonight.

Well I know there are alot of ups and downs in Plan A. She just sends so many mixed signals. After this weekend I feel she isn't willing to give us a shot. She is very cold to me and feels like she is a million miles away. I've drawn my own line in the sand. I am going to give it 3 months and after that she needs to have an answer as to wether or not she wants to work on our marriage or not. Doesn't mean we need to be together in the same house but so we have the same goal. She has said some really bad things to me which my whole body wants to tell her to stay out of my life but my heart and mind tell me to stick in there and keep being a good father, person and husband. I have decided to not make any moves to see her and if she wants to talk or see me it will have to be her initiating it. I'm very confused, angry at what she has done to us and very hurt by the things she has said. Thanks all for letting me let off some steam. Not sure I could deal with this without all of you and by reading the other posts as well. Thanks

Having a time line will help you.

Looking at things in three months is better than trying to gage what is happening daily or weekly.

It's too much of a roller coaster in the short term.

I hope you hold up OK.

SS

I also want to remind you to have no expectations in Plan A. Work on yourself, on your self improvement. Act don't react.