Yeah, my taker is definatly getting quite strong.
I've had to excuse myself twice now to regroup mentally, so that I avoid lashing out at her.

The other part is, I don't feel like I am being a great guy. At least it seems that way. I am trying to be nice, fun, kind, enjoyable, and all that stuff. But my god its tough when I get NOTHING back.

I mean, I knew it would be tough, I'm just kinda venting I guess. I think lack of results is causing me to get down on myself, and when I do that I don't put forth as much effort.

Yes, I have it in me to Plan A until the day she leaves, but which is more effective? Being the guy she walks all over until she is done with me? Or kicking her out?

You decide.
You don't kick her out if you go to B. You say she must go due to the pain her infedelity is causing you. If you have her leave, you do it as a firm, true gentleman.

Whether you decide she stays or goes now, you do not have to feel like you are being less of a man for being a decent guy. It takes strength to be kind to another when they are not kind to you in return.

If you stay in plan A, do not accept angry outbursts from her (or yourself), disrespectful judgements or demands. No lovebusters allowed. If she aims any at you, you can leave the room calmly and with self respect.

Same for if you implement plan B. No lovebusting as she is sent away. Firm resolve but no nastiness.

Then, if you ever see her again or not, you will know you did your best at setting boundaries and guidelines for how a marriage should continue and be. Whether with her or another woman someday.

Wow Woot...I think it's time for plan B to begin,.

Why? she's behaving and living the fantasy my xwh had when I filed for divorce.

In his fogged out affair psycho mind, he wanted us to have a "friendly divorce" (meanwhile his taker went wild w/vicious rants and outrageous behavior), but wished we would become the "best of friends". He even wanted me to live in the same subdivision, less than 3 minutes away, so that on sundays, we could have (me cooking amazingly of course) our sunday dinners all together, and that it would be easy for our child for drop offs (well I guess he could walk from house to house right?) and that we could spend time hanging out with each other on weekends (sounds like what you're doing) but not be married. He also wanted his week nights so he could continue his affair(s). It's a crazy fantasy Woot.

You're sleeping with her, having fun with her, going on date nights with her, yet you both FILLED OUT THE DIVORCE PAPERWORK?

Oh dear. you are as I am afraid, feeding her fantasy big time. She needs to REALLY see what a divorce is like.

I think plan B is needed b/c she has to find out BEFORE the divorce is final that she really doesn't want to go down that road.

And if she is in contact with om1, you bet she's in contact with om2 or an unknown om. She wants you, Woot, only as a backup and financier. You're the one making her exploits happen because she has zero and I mean ZERO responsibility or accountability. She lives day to day in lalaland with Woot paying for her fun.

It is time for B. A harsh b. Have her bags packed, the plan B letter drawn, and door locks changed. After all you DID fill out the divorce paperwork right? I'd also have her tailed by a PI and then show the 100 percent evidence to her or her attny in court or in any pretrial hearing, that she's cheating. That'll at least make it harder for her to take more joint assets if possible.

She should be given a plan B letter and path to the way home, again, but she should be put out on the street. Sent away.

You DID do your best, but this gal won't sadly understand what she has exactly done and thrown away, until she sees the door close behind her and her options narrow very significantly. It also takes $ to have affairs, and that is why only single people date. She needs to know that Woot won't pay for her affairs anymore or give away his motorcycle gear to somebody else she rode.

Sorry, but her freeloading is over. Time for her to support herself. and no to fixing the truck cap. No to everything from now on. You need to say "You've had a change of heart, thus the plan B letter and you need her gone".

I think then and only then is the possibility she might come back. But she must hit rock bottom. And you do not look or ask or do anything but stay dark. It is onward and upward for Woot with or without the wayward wife. You're in plan B and plan Woot.

Woot, I want to remind you of something very important. You are to do all of the MB plans with NO EXPECTATIONS. That means that you will do Plan A, because it is the right choice for you at the time and not to make your WW "see the light." Same thing for Plan B. When you do it, it needs to be done when YOU have planned it. It needs to be done, not to get your WW to do anything. It is to save you from making things worse by AO's DJs and SDs. See, that is where a lot of people get stuck. So, I would agree with Peachy in that since you filled out the paperwork, she needs to go. It is a part of the consequences. No more mister nice guy. She wants to get a D from you, show her what that reality is.

How long do you think it will take you to get fully prepared? Remember, she needs to be OUT for Plan B to start. You can't do Plan B while she is still living in the same house as you.

I think I could be full prepared this evening.

We haven't actually signed any papers yet, but we have gone in and got the JAG to start drafting up the papers for us to sign in order to get the ball rolling.

She isn't pursueing any assets, or alimony. The house, my car, and the two motorcycles are coming to me. She is getting the cats and all the stuff she has packed.

The locks on my house are super easy to re-key, and the garage door I just have to change the pin on it. Bills are almost already all in my name except car insurance. I'll have to do that.

I guess its time for me to write a letter.

When you write your letter, post it here for editing.

It's time for plan B/Plan Woot!

My lawyer advised me not to ask her to leave. She was packing up her truck today so she is leaving herself. Our papers should be ready to sign tomorrow but then we have to get to the courthouse to drop them off.

I guess I'll just start plan b when she leaves, which I'm sure is fine for her. Probably exactly what she wants.

Definitely listen to your legal advice.

Take care of yourself and try your best to plan A until the final moment.

You have done a GREAT job already. Keep it up.

What's. Going down?

Woot, haven't seen you here in a while, how are things going for you?