I don't have anything to add to that. HHH, but I strongly agree. I've always liked Atticus Finch, too. My kids don't call me by my first name, but they are probably raised in a somewhat similar iconoclastic way.

Been kinda thinkin of you, Markos.

Back on the first page, I linked to an article about "Iceberg Beliefs."

Reflecting on that, I thought of your (and my own) struggles with AO behavior.

Read over it a tad, and the scenario presented - do you think part of your AO problem might be some "Iceberg Beliefs?"

Just food for thought...

Great that you got this thread started really.

Hold onto your nuts was a good read and a real compliment to MB I thought. It also specifically suggests forming small peer groups to talk about stuff kind of like Fred's group.

I think its a great idea. Even if I spotted no less than four ladies on the way in here lol.

When I read the book it was before I came to MB. I wrote five or six nuts, but only one really stuck with me through all this time. I mean one thing that is not negotiable and I hung onto. Mel will laugh at this, cause she had to pistol whip me to get me to expose... "I will not live in fear"

Pretty simple, but I got a lot of mileage out of that one the last six months. Hope to get some more.

Anyway the book was great, although slanted to guys who aren't trying to win back a wife from OM. Really a pep talk I could have benefited from eighteen months ago before this all started.

Great thread, hope we can keep it going.

If you are still reading, Fred, you might find this one of interest;

A Generation of Men Raised by Women

Ah Its late, love this thread theme, gonna read it all tommorow, can't wait to read that site,

I have added this to my watched threads.

Later boys,,
PS: The Rock is the bomb!

Well I saw the Atticus Finch reference, and I had to read it. Yeah now there was what i allways wanted to be as a man. (Did I mention I was a crack shot with a rifle?)

A man with a conscience, integrity, and honor. Us men need those role models.

Loving this Thread, and haven't even read it all yet.

Y'know I haven't read 'To Kill a Mockingbird' since high school. I'll have to put it on my reading list for after I finish re-reading 'Atlas Shrugged' - we saw the movie on Friday and it made me want to read the book again.

But yeah my kids don't call me by my first name either. I have a title and it's "Dad". But we do follow the southern form of the kids calling adults 'Mister Dave' or 'Miss Kelly'.

It seems a little strange... but it's a work of fiction, so I'm not quite sure if there was a heavy subtext to it or not.

Atticus, though, spoke very straight and very plain to his children. He seemed content to command the respect of his children through his character and integrity rather than his position as their father.

I don't know, but Gregory Peck's portrayal of the character was so spot-on, that I'm not surprised that they never tried to remake it (like Of Mice and Men). I can no longer read the book without seeing the film portrayal of Atticus.

I bought FWW a very nice copy a few years ago. Spend the extra cash to get one with a nice cover and quality paper.

Wow. This thread is starting to become seriously dangerous.

I better call the women to come get us back in line.

OMG! They are READING BOOKS!

Get the torches!

Finally, the men have come back to Marriage Builders! Seriously though, this is a great idea. I know I've had to suck it up and learn to become my own man again.

My story - When my FWW started getting a little too wild and crazy for my comfort zone I confronted her and was completely immasculated by her...repeatedly. I didn't let her have any "fun" anymore, I had become a stick in the mud, I was causing problems in our relationship, etc, etc. During this time she decided to try some new things and that included other men. I saw it happening right before my eyes yet I was almost powerless to do anything about it. I let her control my feelings and perceptions because I was afraid I'd lose her if I pushed back too hard.

Yeah, I'm ready to "man up" and restart my life again. I've already made huge changes with more to come.

I'll hang around and see where this goes!

Great thread here. Thanks for starting it. I just stumbled upon it now and will need to read the links later on, but I think it is needed and will be helpful.

I can say that to me personally, I have seriously taken a blow to my own 'manlihood' due to my WXW's affair. Plus the actual process of attempting to Plan A with a non-repentant wayward wife causes a lot of natural inner-conflict. At least for me it did. As a 'man', the instant easy answer would have simply to ended it all and move on. As a real man (and father), I tried to do the best as the head of the family and do what I could.

Now that I'm divorced and starting to re-define who I am and what my goals are, I've found that during my marriage I simply became what I thought a husband and provider should be. Now that I'm on my own so to speak, I see that I've lost touch with who I really am and want to be.

Hoping this thread helps in this process. Thanks again.

Geez SOL don't be so hard on yourself. You could teach most of us a thing or two. I've pulled strength from your story on bad days...more than once.

Haven't seen any gurls on here in a bit. We'll have to be careful or Marital will have everyone reading "Little Women" by this time next week.

Every post like this one here makes me thankful for getting this ball rolling.

I think a lot of us lacked proper male role-models, as well as proper male peers.

I know I do; my dad is a doormat, my brother is an adulterer, and any other outside male modeling was limited or brief.

Gentleman - I implore you to not only read, but to contribute!

If you have a book, movie, article, or experience that has impacted your feeling of masculinity in a positive way, please share!

Also, let's not be afraid to be accountable, but not judgmental.

You rang??

Just curious if you had any tips on the best wax to shape my mustache.

Didn't realize I was sounding hard on myself. I'm really not. I'm good with what I did and the how and why I did it. Just stating that during the time, it was a struggle and I didn't feel like much of a man. You know, the whole feeling emasculated by WW stuff. Big blow to my self-esteem as well.

I've had some good role models and peers being career military and being in the Infantry (Probably too much testosterone to be honest about it), plus my father is and was a very good man. Just sharing that for me personally, the infidelity and everything that comes with it made me question myself is all.

Be careful.

Unless you want your mustache to end up looking like Salvador Dali's. MelodyLane is the queen of "high hair!"

Does anyone else find it "interesting" that our last two Democrat presidents were raised in predominantly women-only households?

Much has been said and speculated about their character (or lack of).

A correlation?