As I mentioned in my last entry, I have become increasingly incensed with the manner in which men are portrayed in the media � especially in advertising. My latest beef is with a Coors Light commercial ostensibly promoting their new �ventilating can�.

It starts with a guy sitting with his female significant other getting a cell phone call. He turns to his lady and says that his friend needs to vent. She, quite sympathetically, tells him he should immediately go over to his buddy and allow him to vent. The next scene is the guy arriving at a friend�s house with a six-pack and a big grin on his face telling his host that he has brought the new �venting� can. He then is shown sitting with several guys, drinking beer out of the new can, watching sports and calling his lady to tell her that he needs to be there longer because his friend must vent some more.

Let me explain my outrage. First message � men must get permission from their female companions to be playful with other men. Translation, �Mommy, can I go out to play.� Furthermore, since permission will probably not be granted unless you are a good boy and done your homework a guy has to come up with a ruse to escape. Second message � venting is a female behavior and by using this word he can con her by appealing to her feminine sensibilities. We all know that women support each other by creating a space for sharing concerns but men don�t do this. They just hang out in front of the tube drinking beer.

Thank you Coor�s and your ad agency for trivializing masculine energy. You are shaping a cultural view of masculinity that diminishes us and promotes stereotypical thinking about masculinity. Men need to learn how to honestly communicate their needs to their female partners in a respectful manner that does not marginalize those needs just because they are not always shared or understood by their companions. Being playful in the company of other men is part of who we are and we do not need to apologize for that desire. In addition, men need to embrace that fact that they can come together and share some of their frustrations and concerns in a non-shaming environment and not consider themselves less of a man. By denying this opportunity, men become further isolated and resort to destructive behaviors that negatively affect themselves and those closest to them.

I would hope that advertisers targeting men would learn to appreciate the best of masculinity rather than crude misperceptions. Let me know what YOU think about men in the media.

Richard Horowitz Past-President, Men Mentoring Men

Y'all want to feel like a man?

Tell your doctor you want a prescription for test 250 mg twice a week.

Of course testosterone and aggression have nothing to do with each other. For some reason people think steroids=roid rage.

However, you will exude confidence.

As far as behavior and cognition, exogenous testosterone doesn't really show a lot of results.

The clinical trials were run to see if there was a link between aggression and T.

The findings were the reverse; being aggressive or competing raised testosterone levels, but exogenous supplementation of T did not increase aggressiveness - but it did increase status-seeking behavior.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=testosterone-bumps-up-status-seekin-2009-12-08

Exogenous supplementation of T can also lead to "T resistance," as having more than needed will lead to desensitization of receptors.

What is a problem is lowering of testosterone levels - or "manopause." In this case, supplementation of T can help restore aggression and motivation to levels coinciding with those which were baseline before the loss of hormonal levels.

Don't waste your money on the supplment if are young and healthy. Succeed, and your levels will rise naturally.

(Side note, married men; your testosterone levels will link with your wife's hormonal levels and menstrual cycle - much like how women of age in the same household will "match up" cycles)

CP, what's the guys name?
..

im pretty new here but here it goes

to me being a good man means taking care of family and myself in whatever way possible whether that means working 60-70 hrs a week or staying home with the kids, to me being a man also means being being involved with your family and knowing what they need emotionally (im still trying to improve in all of these areas)

one thing for me personally, any man that would hit a woman is no man at all IMO he is a punk trying to act like a man. but that is how i was raised and i still believe it.

im pretty new here but here it goes

to me being a good man means taking care of family and myself in whatever way possible whether that means working 60-70 hrs a week or staying home with the kids, to me being a man also means being being involved with your family and knowing what they need emotionally (im still trying to improve in all of these areas)

one thing for me personally, any man that would hit a woman is no man at all IMO he is a punk trying to act like a man. but that is how i was raised and i still believe it.

Do we need to provide? Yes. But, we also need to provide love, support, and presence. Financial support is not enough to make us absentee husbands and fathers as a trade-off.

Thanks for sharing!

You bring up a good point; man as provider. Working 60-70 hours a week?

Most of us would do so gladly to provide for our family financially, because we believe that is our job.

However, in doing this to be man as provider, we sacrifice man as husband and father.

That's one of the things that is mentioned in the "Generation of Men Raised by Women" article - that the work ethic that takes us out of the home takes us also out of the family.

Do we need to provide? Yes. But, we also need to provide love, support, and presence. Financial support is not enough to make us absentee husbands and fathers as a trade-off.

i also said that being home with the family is important also there are times when i have had to work alot of hours to cover the bills etc etc but as soon as we were caught up i would cut my hours back down and try to spend time with family.

working and having a family is like a balancing act too much of this and not enough of that can ruin a marriage or any relationship.

both of us work and we can barely make ends meet especially now with gas prices food diapers formula etc etc

Have you ever thought about setting aside days or times for each one of your kids individually for "Daddy dates?" I try to do this with my DD's - once a week they get to go to lunch and/or a movie with dad, and they get that time to have my full time and attention.

I did that with DS7 for a while when he was younger. The problem now is scheduling - I have some flexibility in my work day, and I structure it to get UA time with my W.

Part of the issue is that I don't feel right taking one of the kids to do something special and leave my wife at home with the other two - her whole week is like that with one at school and the other two home. I try to get her an afternoon off every weekend, or at least a few hours.

That balance thing again. Just when we get everything figured out, something changes. We're learning to POJA the schedule; actually we did that last night. She agreed to review the schedule once a week, both to review the previous week to see how we did, and for the upcoming week.

It's a good suggestion and I will talk to W about it. DS7 has been itching to go fishing; the problem he'll face is that it requires sitting still and being quiet for more than 5 minutes at a time...

Maybe a sitter for the littlest, a trip to the day spa for W, and a day at the park for Dad and the others?

I wish I could fund that every week! We're still trying to pay off the last of the credit cards and fund 529 plans for the kids.

I'm sure me taking DS3 somewhere and the W staying home with DS7 and DD1 wouldn't be a problem - DS3 is the instigator/troublemaker, and getting him out of the house would be a break for my wife in itself.

I emailed my W about it; if she likes the idea we'll brainstorm ways to make it happen. We're learning to do that too. With summer coming we'll have more flexibility in the kids' schedules.