True, her mother doesn't know even some very basic details. But it does seem possible that WW has turned the corner.

Or could it be that she's getting scared, looking at what will be her future? Please don't be an easy out for her. That's not fair to you, or anyone else.

@Trying -

The big hitters on here say that you need to set the bar high for accepting her back.

Where is your bar? Where is it set?

Even add the kitchen sink, if that's what you want.

Now if WW meets the requirements. What are the pros and cons. Don't discount the staying together for the kids as a pro.

It sounds like your able to analyze this in a rational manner.

What do you want?

Right now, there really is no bar to set. I want out.

Just take a step back and think about what would make you want back in? If nothing, then continue with the current course and don't look back. If there is something, write it down, all of it, and if she asks you again if this is what you want before you get divorced, hand her the paper and Steve Harley's number. If she wants to stay married, she'll do it. If she doesn't want to do it, continue with the current course and don't look back.

I'm not trying to pressure you into taking her back, I'm just saying from your perspective, since you don't sound like you are sure you want out (why would you be asking us if you weren't).

Tomorrow WW and I meet with a judge to sign off on the divorce. We've mediated and ironed out all the details.

Yesterday we got an offer on our home. It's about half of what we paid in 2006 at the height of the market. We are looking at a short sale.

Yesterday we also made up a list of all our possessions deciding who gets to keep what.

Today I get a call from WW saying she does not want to sell the house at such a low price and is there anyway we can keep it until the market rebounds.

As it stands, WW had planned to move to NY with the kids to live with her parents. And I would transfer up there as soon as possible.

When I asked her if we were able to keep the house who would live there while the market rebounded. WW said she and the kids could live there.

This is in stark opposition to everything she has said for the past year and a half.

I think she's finally woken up... one day before the D gets finalized.

Your thoughts on this?

And your answer was ? Unless you want to don't , close the deal and move on with your life. Having her in the house opens up a host of problems , who knows how long it will take for the market to recover.

I fully intend to go through with the divorce and sell the house. It's sad that it's come to this. One year ago, I would have tried to make it work.

Now I just feel like everything is ruined.

I'll bet that was planned.

Don't underestimate the deviousness of a WW.

Exactly...this is all going to be YOUR FAULT and she's the victim

Ever
after



Waiting for the market to rebound? Why...it's a short sale. It's the banks money on the line. Aren't they going to write off the balance anyway so what difference could getting more make as YOU aren't losing a penny more if they sell it at 50% or 25% below what you paid in 2006.

Peace TE

Aren't you just buying another house at a bargain price anyway? I don't see your loss - yes you have a realized loss on the house you sold, but eventually a larger unrealized gain on the house you buy or she does or whatever..

Divorce finalized today. Heart officially broken.

I am sorry.

To all those who helped me, thank you. Especially, I thank all the vets. You gave me great insight into the wayward mind.

For so long I was questioning my own sanity. When I found out about the adultery, I couldn't believe it.

This forum explained it all. I wasn't going crazy. My WW was.

Thank you for helping guide me through a very difficult time.

Sorry to hear this. I hope you are processing this in a healthy manner. Like to see you around more seeking support as you make this change.

Mr. Wondering

Took WW off my health insurance plan today. She's eligible for COBRA. We still live under the same roof so not too much has changed since the D finalized.

WW looks terrible. She's developed some skin problems from the stress and often wears a mouth guard because she grinds her teeth at night.

She seems pretty miserable and sad. I'm doing okay. Not sure I'll ever understand why we had to go through this. It just doesn't make any sense on any level.

Over a month post divorce. Still living under the same roof. We take the boys to little league almost every day. We attend church as a family. We have breakfast and dinner together. There's an 800-lb. gorilla in the room at all times.

Focus on yourself, eat healthy , exercise and keep a clear mind. Time will heal your wounds. Sell that house and move on , your wife chose her journey she must walk it or crawl it on her own. Get on with your life and love your children, this is a new dawn for you time to start afresh.

Thoughts are with you.

Casting aside the blame and resentment is sooo hard. I know I should be thinking of this relationship as a business now, but it's tough to let go of my anger and disappointment. I keep reliving it all in my head.

I know things will change when we finally get out of this house, but for now everything just feels ruined. From Christmas to Easter to Mother's Day, it's all ruined. Even stuff like mowing the lawn seems pointless.

And it makes me so angry that all these decisions like selling the house, and hiring lawyers, and relocating, and transferring my job have been forced upon me.