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But again, that is according to WS. If she had two jobs, why were her wages not garnished when served with non-payment of rent? I don't buy it.
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This is something I have become near fanatical about.... GPS device.
Appropriate for EVERY adulterous affair.
EA/PA both.
Before exposure.
After exposure.
During the first 2 years of recovery.
Whenever there is a hint of a suspicion.
No more excuses.
Just put a damn GPS on the wayward's car. PLEASE DO THIS ASAP !
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This is the kind of messed up stuff that hits me...latest email....
Is (DS) home tonight? I need to get his costume finished and could work if he was around.
Are you going to (event) tomorrow night?
Do you want me to go to (event) on Saturday?
Have you ordered mothers day flowers for my mom? If not I can. I am having lunch with her tomorrow. Sister has my mom�s gift and has asked other sister to pick up the thing she recommended for dad.
Seriously, I'm supposed to act like everything is just grand when you got back from your 4 day trip with skanky staying in nice hotel that your work payed for? Really????? How do I even respond to all of this. The only reason he knows of my plans is because I put a calendar together of my upcoming obligations for him months ago of things I knew about.
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Please don't get distracted by stuff like this and stay focused on YOUR PLAN.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Please don't get distracted by stuff like this and stay focused on YOUR PLAN. EGG ZAK LEE And GPS his car!
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Ah, so I see, in order not to get lost on the dailies, if I'm in Plan A, respond as I would in fulfilling his EN? Correct? Then I don't get all crazy with these things.
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Are you finished exposing the affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I
He says he wants to make this easier on everyone and as far a finances is willing to take care of me and the kids. He wants you to make it easy for him to destroy you. Riki, I would take a 2 prong approach here if you want to save this marriage. 1. expose the affair to the OW's side of the family 2. make plans to file for separation/divorce and ask him to move out - file on grounds of adultery 3. go into Plan B, which is a complete and total separation where you cut off all contact with him unless and until he ends his affair and commits to the marriage The reasons for #2 are two-fold. You need to get him moved out very soon before his abuse begins to affect your mental and physical health. Women can only take about 3 to 4 weeks of this kind of abuse and then they start falling apart. When this happens, the marriage really is over. Dr Harley recommends that women Plan A only for 3 to 4 weeks. The second reason for filing for sep/divorce is to protect you financially. Once he gets out, all bets are off and he can be expected to play games with money. The reason we suggest filing for grounds on adultery is so that the OW will be subpeonaed into court to give testimony under oath about her adultery. You want that to happen. Once you file for divorce and go into Plan B, you will want to drag it out for TWO YEARS. Most affairs don't last that long. Hopefully the affair will end before then and you can drop the divorce. But in the meantime, you will have legal protection. You can't lose by filing for divorce. If your H does end his affair you can drop the divorce. If he doesn't then you will end up divorced and will be better off.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Did a background check on her. She removed her facebook (was his friend) but not before I copied and printed all that I could. I did find where she and her H had garnished wages so I have a lead on where he works. I'm calling today there. I may have their address, but the phone number I have is registered in her name and I don't know if it is a land line or cell phone. Riki, in addition to exposing to her husband, I would send a private message to her facebook friends. Good for you for saving the names! If she has mucho fb friends, then prioritize them with parents first, family and then married friends. Send them a private message spacing them out one minute apart so facebook does not shut you down for flooding. Before you do, change your profile to a pic of you and your H. Put up a bunch of family photos that everyone can see so these targets can see your page. You want to do all this TODAY - along with any other exposures - so it hits them like a tsunami. You don't want to give them a chance to regroup. You want to take out the affair. So if there are any other exposure targets on your side, do them today. You want to encourage your children and family to use their influence to persuade your H to end his affair. If they can call him today, that would be great. The goal is to cause holy hell in the affair TODAY. Here is a sample letter we have used: Dear friend of Skankyhola, It is with great regret that I send this letter but I believe all of her friends should be aware that Skanky is having an affair with my husband, Joe. We have been married for 5 years and have 3 heartbroken children. They have been having this affair since October according to the evidence. I would be happy to provide the evidence to anyone who asks. I would ask that you use your influence with Skanky to persuade her to leave my husband alone. You should also watch your own husbands around her because she is no friend to marriage. I would appreciate it if someone would notify her parents and ask them to call me at xxx-www-xxxx. Thank you, BW
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Drive those nails into the coffin, Riki.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Update: WS had lunch with his Mom. She couldn't get through to him either. No budging. Said he does not want to work on marriage because he is not going to stop seeing her. Period.
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Update: WS had lunch with his Mom. She couldn't get through to him either. No budging. Said he does not want to work on marriage because he is not going to stop seeing her. Period. Riki, you need to launch exposure now. I suspect this A will be easily killed. It's an internet fantasy, and their time together to bond has been limited. But you need to launch a strategic offensive to wreak havoc on it. Your WH is cake-eating, living in both worlds. OW is not working two jobs because she hates being home. She more likely is working two jobs because she's broke. She may well fancy your WH as her meal ticket. Nip this in the bud with exposure.
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Found the OW H work. Left a message for him to call me.
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WS is actually going to admit to another person at work to see if he can move into a house the company owns. He really could care less apparently. I'm going to expose anyway, but he is ready to just own it to the world I guess. Kids, me, mom, siblings, best friends, all say the same thing. But he just goes down this road. Sad and losing some hope. Moving out ASAP. June 1 at the latest.
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I mean I already have exposed to those I think are influential in WS life. I'm exposing to OW H today (hopefully). Beyond that...I guess I'm just in Plan A.????
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Can you expose this to his work? Do they have any issues regarding employee morals? He more than likely will ask to move into that house because you and he are "having marital problems."
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Well he doesn't think it is, but people have been fired for stuff like this at his level. I'll ask his friend who he thinks would be good to expose to at his work for influence and council on what this will do to his career.
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He and I are attending an event tomorrow together. I asked if I wanted him to go too, I left it up to him and he is going. No expectations though. He's just trying to be "friends" with me to make himself feel better I think.
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I mean he asked if I wanted him to go. (again because he knew my schedule months ago). My children's birthdays are coming up and he wants to have all of us celebrate together. He's passive aggressive, and really wants he and I to be this shinning example of a divorced couple that can be friends. When I have been unwilling to put game face on (like on Mother's Day) his response was...why would you shut people out of your life like that?
He just has no empathy or concept of how damaging this is to me, the kids, family, friends. Everyone be damned, but at least HE is happy.
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