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Re: OM is back in the picture
mehr #2507723 05/11/11 09:06 AM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,921
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helpthelostdads Offline
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helpthelostdads
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MarriedForever,

The calm and cool approach is better for men. Ranting and raving puts you at risk of false DV charges, which the system is all too happy to use against men. There�s more leeway for women. Should Still be angry? Absolutely. But controlled anger is much more effective.
Re: OM is back in the picture
helpthelostdads #2507763 05/11/11 09:58 AM
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
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Originally Posted by helpthelostdads
MarriedForever,

The calm and cool approach is better for men. Ranting and raving puts you at risk of false DV charges, which the system is all too happy to use against men. There�s more leeway for women. Should Still be angry? Absolutely. But controlled anger is much more effective.

I never said anything about ranting and raving. I was as cool as a cucumber in my exposure letters and postings, but it was anger that fueled me. however, those who I exposed to would never have known that.

stillwater, go back to my posts at the end of Feb./beginning of March 2007. You will see there how I exposed and what I said in my exposure letters and postings (I exposed to coolrunning.com, the message board where my FWH met the OW). I was calm, cool and collected. I answered those who supported me very graciously and I ignored those who were snotty.

I knew that my anger was fueled by intense grief and hurt and I so I only let that show through while I dealt with the anger myself. But I did let the anger fuel me to get through exposure, and then I fell apart.

Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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