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Just chatting ..... I love Disneyland. I went to Disneyland for the first time a few months after opening day 1955. I was 6 years old. Families wore their "Sunday best" when they went to Disneyland. There were no huge crowds. There were ticket books to go on rides. The famous "E Ticket" was to get on the best rides. I still have a half used ticket book .... somewhere.
Yes, I be old as dirt.
I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I wanted to live at Disneyland. I was convinced the employees lived upstairs in the buildings on Main Street.
Your children will cherish those D-Land memories. I know I do.
PS: We would have gone to D-Land on opening day (July 18), except my brother had the audacity to be born July 13.
Me too Pep!!! We went to WDW last October and it was just incredible. I was not expecting to be just as excited as the kids by some of the newer rides like Soarin' and Toy Story, etc.
Anyway, HHH, sorry to hear it wasn't that great of an experience for you... Great suggestion by mb. Fun UA time always helps me through the rough patches. hang in there
PS - HHH, you'll figure out how to let that pain out...maybe "letting it out" is not precisely what you need to do...maybe more of a "setting aside"...dunno if that makes sense. But I have faith in you and your M, you have shown yourself to be good at this recovery thing, you know!!!
No, letting it out is it. Setting it aside I have mastered to a fault.
Perhaps I'm stuck on the fact that I'm not a master at "letting it out" myself, so it carries some negative connotations for me - I'm certainly better at avoiding AO's w/H these days, but considering that I see him, oh, maybe 4 hours or so a week I don't have time to LB him! And when H would "let it out" with me, well, sometimes I'd get heartfelt letters that, while difficult to read, helped me to better understand his pain (I like Pep's letter idea)...other times I'd get those angry texts or emails that kinda remind me of where MikeSmile over on SAA is at with his WW. I don't blame H for his meltdowns, and they were infrequent, but they still terrified me. It was like I never really knew what H I was going to get at the other end of that text or email, or at the end of the day coming home. Still don't, really.
I was always a pro at putting things in "boxes." Maybe it is an ability to compartmentalize? Whatever it was, I tended to put things away and attempt to banish them to the dusty back corners of my mind. Problem was they would pop up again and again. For example, when H and I struggled to get pregnant with DD#1, I mourned the abortion I'd had 7 years earlier. I'd never mourned for the baby and I had dreams constantly while we tried to conceive about a child (always a little boy) trying to come in the house and I was pushing him out, holding the door closed. I felt like my inability to get pregnant was God's punishment. I don't think I ever opened up to H about it then, either. Eventually we got pregnant and I put all that back in the box again.
Anyway, that was a path around my elbow....but I'm in a different spot than you are, HHH, and you have someone you can let things out to, and from all you have posted about your FWW she is more than willing to crawl into the fire and hold on to you tight.
And do please go get some UA time with your W!!! Disney's a blast, but ITA, NO UA time (H and I had to sneak a little UA time in the bathroom )!!!
FWW
"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
Just chatting ..... I love Disneyland. I went to Disneyland for the first time a few months after opening day 1955. I was 6 years old. Families wore their "Sunday best" when they went to Disneyland. There were no huge crowds. There were ticket books to go on rides. The famous "E Ticket" was to get on the best rides. I still have a half used ticket book .... somewhere.
Yes, I be old as dirt.
I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. I wanted to live at Disneyland. I was convinced the employees lived upstairs in the buildings on Main Street.
Your children will cherish those D-Land memories. I know I do.
PS: We would have gone to D-Land on opening day (July 18), except my brother had the audacity to be born July 13.
This was my 3rd trip! >.<
It seems like, even besides the growth going on, each time we discover something new.
I went when I was 12, then we went 6 years ago. We want to do Disneyworld in another year or two.
I've got a cute little picture; DD13 tripped and fell on Tom Sawywer's island and got some road rash. I have pictures of her with the Disney RN's.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Anyway, that was a path around my elbow....but I'm in a different spot than you are, HHH, and you have someone you can let things out to, and from all you have posted about your FWW she is more than willing to crawl into the fire and hold on to you tight.
I worry about the day that I just want to burn alone...
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyway... we were loading up an MP3 CD for FWW last night, listening as we went along, singing along to some songs, singing to each other.
If it isn't obvious, music is HUGE to me, as it is to her.
But... we came across this one and it just KILLED me, and it was all I could do to not implode into the fetal position;
They drank their anniversary glass A silent moment passed Then they kissed She knows there's something on his mind He'll tell her in due time What it is
He says "I've never built Your mansion on a hill Or warmed you in the Spanish sun I simply blink my eye And think as years fly by Of all the things we've never done"
She smiles and takes his hand in hers And says "It just occured To me now The thought that brings you such regret What hasn't happened yet It makes me proud..."
"You never walked away When I needed you to stay Or made me feel I'm not the one There've been no broken vows And there reason we're here now Is all the things we've never done"
"We've never grown apart You never broke my heart With secrets that you've kept me from We've never been untrue And I'm still here with you Through all the things we've never done"
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Music is also very important to my FWH. He loads up the MP3 player so we can listen to them in the car whilst taking a drive. Sometimes one of those songs is a deep trigger for me, and I have to immediately turn it off. One of those songs is "We have Tonight." It immediately reminded of the affair and I asked him to remove the song first chance, which he did as soon as we got home. Others, too. Ugh. Sometimes I like to stick with just instrumentals. Safer....
Music is also very important to my FWH. He loads up the MP3 player so we can listen to them in the car whilst taking a drive. Sometimes one of those songs is a deep trigger for me, and I have to immediately turn it off. One of those songs is "We have Tonight." It immediately reminded of the affair and I asked him to remove the song first chance, which he did as soon as we got home. Others, too. Ugh. Sometimes I like to stick with just instrumentals. Safer....
I have pretty much an entire artist ban. I don't want to hear any Akon or T-Pain (to a large degree). Just the STYLE of music reminds me that sniveling, chicken$#!+, POSOM is still allowed to consume oxygen.
Why? Because I investigated what his ringtone was.
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Yeah sometimes there is so much stuff that I wish I could unknow: I can't listen to Prodigy cos he took her to a concert and WW3 followed. Chemical Brothers and for a long while Faithless were off the menu, but I had to get over that one cos Faithless are brilliant but I know there are several tracks I have to skip over.
Why did you investigate the ringtone!! Lol the things we need to know!
I am currently re claiming music, making our own memories but just sometimes one comes on with the sort of words that are a real sucker punch, so breathe in and out, it's just a song!!
Me 50 WH 52 WH in A 6 yrs in total, last 5 yrs JGF (Not!) DD final 1.12.10 NC letter sent 3.12.10
Working at being the best I can be, the rest is up to you.
In an absolutely fecal mood today. Just an overwhelming physical depression.
You're My World The Shelter From The Rain You're The Pills That Take Away My Pain You're The Light That Helps Me Find My Way You're The Words When I Have Nothing To Say
And In This World Where Nothing Else Is True Here I am Still Tangled Up In You I'm Still Tangled Up In You Still Tangled Up In You
You're The Fire That Warms Me When I'm Cold You're The Hand I Have To Hold As I Grow Old You're The Shore When I am Lost At Sea You're The Only Thing That I Like About Me
And In This World Where Nothing Else Is True Here I am Still Tangled Up In You I'm Still Tangled Up In You
How Long Has It Been Since This Storyline Began And I Hope It Never Ends And Goes Like This Forever
In This World Where Nothing Else Is True Here I am Still Tangled Up In You Tangled Up In You I'm Still Tangled Up In You Still Tangled Up In You
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
I'm sorry to hear you are having a crappy day, HHH. Is there anything your W can do to help? I can't speak for her, but as for me, know I'd love the chance to try and help my H if he told me that he was having a rough day. And I am pretty confident she is the type of woman who will stand in the flames she created with you.
FWW
"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
I'm sorry to hear you are having a crappy day, HHH. Is there anything your W can do to help? I can't speak for her, but as for me, know I'd love the chance to try and help my H if he told me that he was having a rough day.
Me too HHH.
)!!!