I did and the friends that tried to talk to him, he no longer is friends with them, which was all my fault.

His family, his mom is a serial cheater and they have a "strange" relationship and he just laughs at her.

No one else in his family will get involved. His one sister who told me to leave him is cheating on her own husband and WH and her no longer talk.

His kids don't want anything to do with him now and aren't talking to him.

He actually said about the 3OW in April, that he didn't do anything wrong.

I'm not a better person around him.

I couldn't LEGALLY do that either, but I still did it.

I tried and when they were called to the house they made me leave.

So how am I supposed to make him leave?

He told the cops he refuses to leave because his name is on the house. The cops told me he is correct. They also told me, the next time they come to the house one of us will be going to jail and it could be me for not letting him in.

So please tell me how I do this?

Fortunately my WW has no clue that her name is on the house and the police have never been involved.

I would like to know how the police can force YOU to leave your home?

That's what I asked them and because I threw something towards him and I didn't lie about it they charged me with DV.

They said it's the law.

So no one here has any idea on how to move to Plan B for me?

So I was thinking about doing this but I need to know if I'm off?

If I just act like nothing happened and let him think everything is fine then we can coexist, but deep down I know he is doing wrong and I can't sleep or "pretend" like everything is ok.

So when I go to work tomorrow (we work at the same place) in my truck (he doesn't have a vehicle) I can leave him stranded at work and since I get off a 1/2 hr before he does I can come home and get my stuff and go to the hotel.

He won't know where I'm at.

I don't know what else to do? This last fight went way too far and of course I'm all to blame.

Please help.

Ok I will continue to Plan A while working on going into Plan B.

I also need to do some self adjustments AGAIN!!

So I have some work to go.

Only stick to plan A if you can handel it, if however your timeframe for plan B is here or Plan A is becoming to emotionally and physically draining then switch.

It is your call if you give your husband a lift to work, if it hurts you and he is still draining you then don't , tell him you do not want him in the car with you. He can find his own transport.

Yes, I think I'm having a tough time staying in Plan A and I'm starting to hurt myself.

The only problem with going to Plan B is that I will have to be the one that leaves, and that is going to take some planning and creativity from myself.

I defintely don't feel proud of myself, of how I handled this weekend, and so I need something to focus on and that will be getting Plan B together.

Yes once I get to Plan B I don't care how he gets to work, not my problem. It will be interesting at work since we work at the same place and can go see each other whenever we want. I'm looking at other job possiblities also.

Brainhurts, I am not completely familiar with your situation, but for women, Plan A should last about 3 to 4 weeks. After that it causes more harm than good. And of course, you can't work together in Plan B. My suggestion would be to find another job as soon as you can and see if you can get him legally removed from the home. If you can't get him out that way, then you will have to move out your self.

Before you make decision to move out consult your attorney , it appears to me your husband is trying to wear your down and is waging a war of attrition on you.

So I guess I need to find a new job and move to go into Plan B.

Well during this time I will keep working on me.

I will also add this to my list.

I know I can only change me.

Ok not a good update.

I wake up early Saturday morning with that awful feeling. One text from a new OW and another OW. I called them both and one phone is a shared text with the husband so the husband is the one using the phone (still verifying this information).

This man has no concept of boundaries.

Not good. I left to go check into a hotel to have to return due to funds. Can't throw him out because his name is on house and the cops told me I can't and can't change the locks either.

Also work at the same place and on same shift. So how do I plan B properly under these conditions? I am looking for a new job.

He knows he has a BPD and is checking himself in.

I have no family here to go stay with and friends don't have room for my DD and I.

I really feel like a fool and am exhausted. Lawyer says I can only remove myself and divorce him to legally remove him.

He's checking himself in where? And for what? When is he doing this?

Supposedly checking himself into a mental hospital for his BPD.,Supposedly tomorrow.

He has asked me to give him time until they get him on the correct meds.

Bipolar, or borderline personality?

He has already been diagnosed with bi-polar and now they think he has borderline personality disorder. He had an incident at work and so they have given him some time off to get some more help. He finally admits he has issues.

I'm just running on empty.

Well, there are some similarities between the two. Bipolar; high highs, low lows. Borderline; all emotional reactions are catastrophic, PLUS a persistent fear of abandonment.

Maybe a good call in?

"Dr. Harley,

How would you advise the spouse of a serial adulterer who is a sufferer of bipolar and BPD to approach any possible recovery? Would it be best to separate until a certain point of medication and behavioral therapy is implemented ( say, one year, like with an addiction)?"

-BH