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Hope, you do realize that Plan A is only supposed to last for 3 to 4 weeks? Is there a reason why you are dragging this out?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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WH was deployed and not here or in contact with anyone until a couple of weeks ago. Plan A didn't go into effect until then.
Waiting on Plan B is in effect because youngest is in the NICU and I can't physically leave with that going on.
Last edited by HopeforChange; 07/23/11 01:52 PM.
I am BW to WH of 9 years, 11 together
5 kids- 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9 years old
OW is in another state, WH moved to be with her and her 3 kids
D-day of EA/PA Jan 11, Fully Disclosed July 2011
Plan B September 11 against my will when WH filed Divorce
OW dumped WH in May, WH wants divorce final but to work on things
Divorce Settlement Facilitation Completed, divorce final second week of July
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I know he texts her then deletes though and I want to know what is said. I don't know of a free product, but why don't you just ask him to not delete the adulterous texts that he sends his girlfriend. That you'd like to read them. Seriously.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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WH was deployed and not here or in contact with anyone until a couple of weeks ago. Plan A didn't go into effect until then.
Waiting on Plan B is in effect because youngest is in the NICU and I can't physically leave with that going on. Welcome to MB, Hope. I'm so sorry to hear of the affair, and of your baby's ill health. Please start a thread with your story in the forum Surviving an Affair. We will be able to help you better when we know the full picture. You need advice on more than just a keylogger!
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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WH was deployed and not here or in contact with anyone until a couple of weeks ago. Plan A didn't go into effect until then.
Waiting on Plan B is in effect because youngest is in the NICU and I can't physically leave with that going on. OHMY! Please start a thread on Surviving an Affair so others can help you, Hope. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Just to update. Desktopshark is now only free for a 3 day trial.
Me: BH
Her: ongoing PA/EA
Married 8 years
3 children 2,6,7.
Plan B, maybe D.
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Dear Fireproof,
I have bought the Desktopshark program and have isntalled it on my laptop for testing before I install it on my son's laptop that my wife uses for her emails and FB.
All our computers use AVAST antivirus program and Windows Defender as antispy program. I was able to exclude the dskl.exe from being detected and bumped off by Avast. It worked perfectly well for one day and now suddenly comes an other problem with the certificate of the desktop shark.
When I use the new portal or the old portal to log in, I get the following message:
"Unable to complete secure transaction" ,
Error code "sec_error_revoked_certificate"
It is requesting the portal through a secure connection https.
How can I go around this? I cannot see the LOGS file on a remote computer since I cannot log in. I can still see the Log file on the concerned computer itself.
Need your help.
Diabwilly
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Willy, I would contact the desktopshark company and ask them for assistance.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I just wanted to share a keylogger that I found with everyone here. It's called Steel Keylogger, and it works on Windows PCs. You can find it at steelkeylogger.webs.com. I have tested it on Vista and Windows 7. You can have it email logs and even screenshots to you. Emailing logs works wonderfully, but I haven't tried screenshots. The software is free as well.
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Well .. i bought the full working version of desktop shark .. and man its great. Both my wife and I use it to monitor the kids on both our home PCs and i installed it on my work PC so my wife can see what I do if she so choses. (my work PC is home made and i was allowed to install it) .. and to keep each other accountable. Not to mention you get a login to see all the monitored PCs from any location. Great tool. and great price.
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I have used a traditional keylogger, the keyllama, on our home computer but it is pretty obvious when connected. My husband found it, it was so obvious. I need some type of monitoring on the computer as I have caught my husband more times than I can count with "secret" email accounts. I am looking into the Stealth iBot from brickhouse security. Anyone know about that and if it is detectable with Avast? The instructions say to disable Avast but does anyone know if I have to enable Avast after installing the iBot?
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I haven't used Stealth ibot with Avast, but have used eblaster with it and it was never detected.
For the eblaster, and I suspect the same applies to Stealth ibot, you turn off Avast and Windows Defender.
The Avast menu should have an option to disable it for a while. Ignore any warning messages that follow.
To disable Windows Defender: In Windows 7, open the Control Panel and type in "Windows Defender" in the search box at the upper right. Open it, click on "Tools" and then "Options" to open the settings window. Click on "Real time protection" in the left column and uncheck the "Use real-time protection" to disable Windows Defender.
Install the program and it will probably give you a list of files to exclude from antivirus searches. Enter those files into both Windows Defender and Avast.
On Avast, you click on the "Settings" button in the upper right and then on "Exclusions" in the left column.
For Windows Defender, go to Tools > Options > Excluded Files and Folders in the left column. Click the "Add" button to browse to whatever files you need to exclude.
Many times, the keylogger program will give you the excluded files in a text file format. You can then copy and paste the paths directly into the anti-virus. If you cannot right-click to copy/paste, try hitting Control-C to copy and Control-V to paste.
After the excluded files are in, then enable Avast and Windows Defender. If you have Windows 7, it will probably prompt you to do so anyways.
And that's it. Give yourself an hour if you haven't done it before, and do a quick test run of Windows Defender and Avast before calling it done.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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Awesome, thanks for the advice. I have never used this before, just a traditional plug in keylogger that is so easy to detect. Everything he does is on the computer. I just caught him with his latest "secret" email so it may be a few months before he feels safe enough to create another but I want to be prepared.
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Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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No idea really. He says no when I have confronted him with the knowlege of several secret email addresses. From what I can tell he contacts people on Craigslist and has profiles on Ashley Madison but I can find no evidence that he has actually gone through with having an affair. He tells me he just likes to talk dirty to other people and it makes him feel like someone else wants him. He says all it is is talk but that he has done nothing. I feel that is the same as cheating but I don't know.
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If you feel it's the same as cheating, then it's the same as cheating. If you feel that it's inappropriate, then it's inappropriate. Make sense? If you'd like to bounce some ideas off of others that have been in similar situations, you could post a question in the Surviving an Affair section. That section gets a lot more traffic than this one does. Here's the link: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=35&page=1While his actions may not be an affair in the traditional sense, it's certainly not helping the marriage and seems like a reasonable stepping stone for his escalating it into something else. But, you can turn it around, and there are a lot of folks here that can offer advice.
Me (BH)
FWW
Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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No idea really. He says no when I have confronted him with the knowlege of several secret email addresses. From what I can tell he contacts people on Craigslist and has profiles on Ashley Madison but I can find no evidence that he has actually gone through with having an affair. He tells me he just likes to talk dirty to other people and it makes him feel like someone else wants him. He says all it is is talk but that he has done nothing. I feel that is the same as cheating but I don't know. Yes, that is cheating.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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No idea really. He says no when I have confronted him with the knowlege of several secret email addresses. From what I can tell he contacts people on Craigslist and has profiles on Ashley Madison but I can find no evidence that he has actually gone through with having an affair. He tells me he just likes to talk dirty to other people and it makes him feel like someone else wants him. He says all it is is talk but that he has done nothing. I feel that is the same as cheating but I don't know. You'd think that the unfaithful spouse would be so aware of his or her weaknesses, and so aware of the pain inflicted, that every effort would be made to avoid further contact with the lover as an act of thoughtfulness to the stunned spouse. But instead, the unfaithful spouse argues that the relationship was "only sexual" or was "emotional but not sexual" or some other peculiar description to prove that continued contact with the lover would be okay.
Most victimized spouses intuitively understand that all contact with a lover must end for life I'd say in this case contact with the whole website must end for life.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I finally got desktop shark up and running again on WH laptop.
WH has lavasoft ad aware on it and it blocked Desktop Shark. Luckily I figured out how to bypass that. However it shows up on the registry. Does anyone know how to get the exceptions to not show up?
BW (Me) age 41
WH age 40
kids 9 & 3
DD PA Skank #1 2/07
DD PA Skank #2 9/29/10
DD EA Skank #3 3/11 (occurred in '08)not sure if it was PA
Plan A- presently 9/2/11
Plan D- filed 12/20/11, served 12/24/11, 9/2/11 on hold, 12/1/11 cancelled
1/5/2011 WH tells me he is not 100% sure his relationship with OW would work.
7/21/2011 WH moves back home
11/7/2011 WH still foggy in ref to SK#3
Plan D- 1/2012 refiled
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Desktop Shark is working nicely however it is being picked up by lavasoft ad-aware. I thought I was able to exclude it but the second you open up lavasoft it shows up again. I am on my third scan.
Any ideas as to what I can do about this?
Last edited by kartoread; 12/07/11 12:47 AM.
BW (Me) age 41
WH age 40
kids 9 & 3
DD PA Skank #1 2/07
DD PA Skank #2 9/29/10
DD EA Skank #3 3/11 (occurred in '08)not sure if it was PA
Plan A- presently 9/2/11
Plan D- filed 12/20/11, served 12/24/11, 9/2/11 on hold, 12/1/11 cancelled
1/5/2011 WH tells me he is not 100% sure his relationship with OW would work.
7/21/2011 WH moves back home
11/7/2011 WH still foggy in ref to SK#3
Plan D- 1/2012 refiled
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