It doesn't matter anymore. I could go through the next 50 pages on this same track with you all and still be at the same point. So I am saying farewell. I will not be back and me, NOT YOU, will have to face the repercussions of my decisions. Thanks for your time.

Touche'

Good evidence that logic and reason don't work with the wayward mind

So, screwing around with your OM is your priority. Not your marriage. Not your children. Got it. Good luck, looking into those babies' eyes and explaining your weird explanation about how Daddy was bad (because that's the only way you're going to pull this one off, to make him look bad.) They are going to be confused, so be ready to get them into counseling. Because you're paying, the counselor will explain in child-friendly language how Daddy was a Bad Man an made Mommy Have To Find Another Daddy.

Understand that kids aren't stupid, struggling. This one is going to come back to bite you in the [censored]. Many times.

One thing I will give you: you are HERE. I hold hope for you.

Originally Posted By: strugglingazI am not willing to implement all of the MB principles into my marriage as I don't believe a person should have to live their life entirely for someone else. I cannot do it, therefore my H and I cannot sustain this marriage.

You're not willing? What have you tried? What principles of MB have you really implemented and followed through on?

Hey, this is the first thing you've said that I agree with.

Good luck with that.

struggling,

You said

Such a shame it has come to this. It does matter what you decide. One offers you and your children a better life, and the other offers your children a divorce, a broken home, and being forced to live with the man that helped destroy your family.

Choices matter Struggling, they really do.

God Bless,

JL

~emphasis mine

Oh no, it's not just you who will face the repercussions of your choices -- it is your two sweet, little girls too. You are hamstringing them FOR LIFE, strugglin.

I am sick for them.

Mrs. W

THANK YOU.... to all of the wise posters throughout this thread! If I were to mention a name, I'd certainly forget someone. Incredible advice is riddled throughout!

You've helped me, and I can only imagine how many lurkers you've helped who have read throught this thread in it's entirety.... because human behavior is so predictable.

And strugglin', that's why your situation is no different than any one elses. It's all just different shades of the same color.

Struggling, if you do come back and read this, I hope you will:

Sign over custody of the kids to your husband. When your children and people ask you will tell them that the marrige is no longer because you had an affair and did not want to try to repair it. At least be honest. Don't go with teh stupid "oh we just couldn't get along/we're better off not married"

And here's the other issue. Nearly any guy you meet and spend a certain length of time with, the relationship will fall into the comfortable stage and you'll feel neglected and it'll be the same set of problems as your first marriage. And you'll keep thinking "this guy isn't right for me either"

Well I have to hand it to ya AZ, you sure made a mess of your life.

And it is true 100%! Get ready to be ultimately let down by the Om girl! Seriously! I mean, all you have to do is look at my situation, and the affair relationship was already going into the trash about six months AFTER my divorce from him. My xwh began CHEATING on his ow/mistress almost IMMEDIATELY!

IF THEY'LL DO IT WITH YOU, THEY'LL DO IT TO YOU.

And there is nothing honorable about a man boinking a married woman. It is DISHONORABLE. It is an insult. And if you think that this guy wants a future with you like you are now? Heck no!

Your poor kids will know the truth and fwiw, I hope that your BH who posts here READS THIS and takes you to court, that you live in a fault state (but proving your adultery will be easy and even in a no fault state it's still easy to see why you are divorcing), and that you maybe get the kids 2x a month on weekends.

Waywards ARE NOT GOOD PARENTS. Nor do they EVER make a good partner. So you're entering into a lose/lose situation. And i'm glad you'll OWN this FAILURE AND PAIN because it will become 100% all YOURS.

Look at yourself in the mirror and do you like what you see? Your bh was GOOD ENOUGH AND STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN to look PAST that filthy front you have right now.

I hope what i write angers you enough to CHANGE. Or at least take a longer, harder, look at your no win situation right now, as it stands with your decision.

At night, after your divorce is final, the sweet children will CRY for your husband, wanting daddy to tuck them in and kiss them good night. Or when daddy gets full custody, they'll cry for their mommy, wondering WHY MOMMY CAN'T KISS THEM GOODNIGHT. They will be 100% affected. And trust me, I'm the most involved and hands on mom ever, and my poor son was affected by my xwh.

Even the oc of the other woman was affected too. She suffers at the ripe age of SEVEN from depression, gorges herself on comfort food to comfort her hurting and crying soul, and has bouts of uncontrolled anger. Yep. That's what you're bringing on now.

Kids are hurt. And your bh will hurt. But the funny thing AZ, is this..

ALMOST ALL OF THOSE WHO INITIATE A DIVORCE REGRET IT IN THE FUTURE. Almost all. And I guarantee YOU will regret your negative choice too, very very soon. Maybe it will be after your skanky lover dumps you and cheats too (after all, what an wonderful foundation of a relationship cheating is!). Or maybe it will be a few years or five years down the road. But the likelihood your affair will make it is about 0% for five years. My xwh and the ow separated almost 2 years ago btw. And divorce was final this year. They argued and fought and he cheated on her the whole year before that too. So there ya go. There's your sign.

And by then, your once beloved (heck we ALL KNOW you are an expert at re-writing your own marital history b/c we've read it here)once husband is single, there are MORE WOMEN OUT THERE SINGLE THAN MEN. You'll find that out also. I did too as a single divorced mom. Yep, he will DEFINITELY GET somebody maybe smarter, prettier, younger maybe, and possibly better MOMMY material too for the kids and his future ones.

You will be staring forever from the outside looking in at what could have been your life.

I'm writing you and hoping maybe you remember the end of "Scrooge" don't you? The last scene where the ghost of Christmas future shows him his name etched on the tombstone? I'm showing YOU the FINAL ACT OF YOUR MARRIAGE AND HOW THE FUTURE WILL PLAY OUT.

But still, there is time. You don't have to post here again, but what I say is truth and I DO NOT WISH ANYBODY ELSE TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT MY DEAR CHILD AND I AND A PRECIOUS OTHER CHILD WENT THRU BECAUSE OF TWO CRAZY ADULTEROUS FOOLS.

You don't have to end up that fool. You can change your future. But you have to lose that ARROGANCE AND PRIDE.

If not, then I fear my words will hauntingly become true. The clock is ticking and the chimes are ringing. Ten...Eleven...it's almost Midnight StrugglininAZ.

Nah she doesn't even understand life very well yet..

MB is also about control of your life choices that well, you are gonna have to make anyways sooner or later..

And yeah, some things have universal Karma attached to them..A rose by any other name..smells the same..

Maybe this one is like the old story about the streetfighter and the Sensei. Gather round SA its story time, go get yur jammies.

There was a well renowned Sensei,(master/teacher), who had an opening in his limited class of students. He himself was a champion and had taught many others through the years.

A young man who was a streetfighter and had no formal training. He was very good, but he could not seem to beat the students of the Sensei, so he was intrigued by them, and when the opening came he ran to the Sensei's yard and waited outside to be seen and called in.

The Master was seen looking out the window mid-morning, but did not acknowledge the young man until noon, when he invited him in. Asking the young man why he wanted to come to his Class the young man started to tell the Sensei all about how he fought, how many opponents he had taken down, his style and his opinions about just about anything..

The Teacher listened for about 1/2 hour, then stood up while the young man was speaking and asked him if he would like some tea but to keep on talking if he wished.. the young man nodded quickly and went back to talking about himself and how he saw things.

The Sensei came back and placed two cups on the table, one for each of them. He filled his own half way, then started pouring the young mans, slowly, but when it was full, he kept right on pouring as it ran all over the table..

The Young man was very upset and jumped up in exclaimation and surprise..What was wrong with this man didn't he hear about how much he knew and what he thought? How hard his life had been and what he had to bring to the school? He did not have time to waste living his life being insulted by the sort of behavior..!!

He said,,"What is this?"
The sensei replied.."Your free introductory lesson"
Man looks at him in wonder with a scowl..
Sensei explains..."Your mind is like this cup. If you notice I have only filled mine half-way, leaving room for more knowledge outside myself. I was not, and am not willing to take as much as I can, without leaving room for learning, I will never know it all, and so I leave room for wisdom from others, as a teacher must learn from all things and all people."
"But you are full of yourself, so much so you run over onto everybody else, because you are afraid of losing you lose, because you are not aware of others you do not gain valuable knowledge, I cannot teach you, because you are not able to bring in knowledge to mix with yourself as you are, there is no room in the cup, come back when your cup is half empty like mine"

So SA maybe has to go ut and see her cup is so full of herself and gain some humility.

Its OK SA, being humbled is a gift, come back when you are ready to recieve it..

Hey peachy your whole post was amazing.. as ussual.. but this made me think of Jeff Foxworthys.. "Heres your sign"

You know the one where he said people with defects in thinking should have a sign around there neck to warn others?

Well its like when people run away from God, whether it is from formal religiuos sources or from the many Godly people who have Gods attributes and learn from the life God gave us..

We all know she'll be back

struggling, I'm gonna point something out here, just for the h377 of it. I figured you were still lurking, and I think you'll keep on lurking because you like this drama you created.

Since you seem to think the life I'm living is something that oh, no, will never happen to you....

You might be right.

You know why? Because I actually came out of my wayward fog. I did everything I could to show my H that I was owning the sin I committed against him. I'm still doing everything that I can to show him that I want to be his wife. Ultimately, it is his decision whether or not I am worth the risk, but I decided that HE is worth the risk.

You - well, I think GO pointed out that you can always find somebody to party with. Heh. Look at Andy's WW for example, she's about a decade and some change older than you, I think, and she's finding folks to "party" with, although it appears that a bit of the bloom is off that "party" rose...all the while, Andy continues to prove himself to be an amazing father and a husband she'd be lucky to have if she could see past the end of her nose in the fog she's in.

But I bet she's having a blast!

I'm separated now because of the choices I made. My A and the subsequent missteps I made in recovery were all on my shoulders. I know that you think none of us know squat, oh, here's WPG, poor pitiful thing, she should just cut her losses and move on. But let me tell you what I know, I've said it before and I'll freaking say it again.

I would move mountains if it would get my H to come to me and say he wanted to come home. IS was giving you a rare and precious gift, and you turned around and dropped it in the dirt.

The best thing for a child is to live under one roof, with both her parents, who love each other. MB has proven time and again that a loving relationship can be built.

And I could write to you for "fifty pages" but you'd just ignore it because I'm an idiot who knows no better, right?

Yeah well. I'm an idiot who has at least figured out the importance of what I once had.

Hugs, Gracie!

That was Bill Engvall, not Foxworthy! Sooooo... Here's your sign, CP!

Mrs. W

P.S. Sorry, I couldn't resist that one!

It's obvious that you feel no remorse, have absolutely no integrity, and care only for yourself and your next orgasm.

`
Interesting point, WPG. Markos' wayward mother is STILL in her fog 20 years later, as far as we can tell, and has never seen the damage she has heaped onto her children or her grandchildren. She probably never will.

The best thing that could happen for those girls if struggling persists in living this kind of life is to GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HER AS POSSIBLE. And they may very well just do that, struggling (yes, I know you're still reading). As soon as they are legally old enough to leave you, they may. Many have. Children are not stupid.