Originally Posted by schoolbus
In general, my thoughts about the idea that my H had sex without emotional bonding were that it wasn't "more redeeming" in the sense of his affair and its ranking on the invisible scale of badness.

In fact, it made me feel as though he was willing to trade our marriage for something less important than an emotional bond.


In a way, this made things WORSE for me, not better.


He was willing to risk 30 years of marriage for what he said meant NOTHING to him, nothing but "sex for the sake of sex". So he was willing to trade our entire life together, our love, our relationship, everything we had and worked for......


for something of absolutely no value to him.


Which meant that *I* was of less value to him


than NOTHING.

SB
hurray

Thank you! This is EXACTLY how I felt. After sixteen years of M my DH would risk what we had for "just s*x" which we were doing a lot of at home?

It made me even angrier that it and she meant nothing to him. It took months of T for me to understand why he would pick up a nasty street skank who was willing to "service" him when he traveled and then come home to me.

For anyone to suggest that a BS thinks it's better because it was just s*x, they must be quite the looney toon for thinking that way. It's more of an insult IMHO actually.