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Yeah well I am in love with the forums, addicted too Reyn, lol. I would love to see that formula you used, I bet I fit in it..lmao
Ok Public exclaimation.."I Constant Process, publibly state on this forum, that I will never depend on another woman as much as the forum, even if I someday spend time with them, for objective input concerning life and love, untill internet do we part"
Seriuosly any woman I was interested in spending time with would have to not only be a card carrying believer in the principles of MB, but they would also have to respect my appreciation for the place and my emotional connection. It should be listed as an EN.."Need to connect to others" wait I think Dr H has that covered ...
Of course I would man up and tell her if I did not have time for her..Ok, lets do that.."All women in the world that would like to have a seriuos relationship requiring time spent with me as we care for each other..I don't have any time nor do I feel anything to offer right now, come back later, The Wizard of OZ sees Nobody ,No-way, No-how!"
Oh wait, this is the MANS thread lol, we don't need to talk, just shut up and work, ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or die, and all that tripe.
I am def in love and addicted to MB, but we are all addicts to something if we are honest. We all have needs. Nah Mel is a special person, I bet she is in love with this place and with her DH and her fam and pulls it all off without a hitch. Guts and determination like she has tend to expand a person IMO. You don't need to be taken down a notch for pointing out the obviuos.
Off to work some today...Ballance...Balance...Balance
Would it be too much request delegating the scriptural side of this thread to you?
I think your intimate knowledge of it would be an indispensable asset, and one which I am not knowledgeable enough to bring to the table.
Aww yur just saying that because I made that pledge about swearing off women if they got between me and the forums.
But Honestly HHH, I find it a great honor to have that asked of me, or that I seem to have intimate knowledge of scripture, seeing that the only things I can recall about it, are in reflection of the times I sought answers, as I am not a studied scholar.
I have allways been a seeker of wisdom, and a believer in greater character of people, through the expansion of our understanding. I have found so much of the examples given about people, thier motivations, and pitfalls in life to be expressed in the scripture, that I understand there is much that can be gotten from it that can benifet mankind, and I believe that is why it was written, for our benifet.
I believe we are spiritual beings first, and as My Pastor once said, "The heart is the seat of all emotions and reason, and the mind controls the feelings. The feelings are the appreciators of life and are owned by us, they do not run the decisions unless we allow them to."
Then we can compare that to the scripture..
Proverbs 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
Who can claim that that is not truth?
But it has been much of my life experiencing hard lessons of truth and then reading the same thing being taught in the word that have drawn me to the bible for understanding, and also breaking my concepts such as God being a man on a cloud with a big ligthning bolt waiting for me to screw up so he can punish me, or a type of escapist drug of the mind that does not challange a man to think, and wants us to all be robots. God wants us to challange what it says in the scriptures, because thats our nature, we only respect the strong. We are supposed to be strong and God encourages it.
But many use it for escapism and/or to make it all seem so mystical, and I prefer simplicity and practicality, so I don't fall into the catagory of a prophet wishing to impress people with cryptic knowledge that they cannot possibly understand. I am afraid that the world is full of those insecure types, who just need to feel they have some great connection and make others beleive it also. Of course this is a lie, and it only adds to the confusion and does not give those who like to hide the truth they so desperatly need. Those types would rather keep others confused and in chains to the confusion wailing and moaning that there is no answer for them.
So HHH, the bible for me is to make me think, look before I leap, to expand my mind and thought beyond my own limited perception, and to break down concepts I or others might labor under that are common to man. In that way it is from above, and it is love, as it is a love letter from God, ensuring me there is allways a way back home, and it is full of life as it can be found more abundantly.
If I can in any way share something or find a scripture referance to some subject in this thread, I will gladly try on request, or if it so moves me at the time, I will quote a scripture that seems to me relevant to a topic. I would do that anyway regaurdless, but I am not a trained Pastor, or a learned scholar, so trusting that I had the correct insight as to what God says about a subject would be a mistake. I suggest to anyone to seek what God has to say about anything through a Strongs exhaustive Concordance, the many study websites, the hebrew and greek interpetations and the many great preachers through the years as they exogete<sp> the translations. After all God is greater than the mere words we use to describe him and words can not do him justice. Many times its just at the right time in life that we accually hear what the words mean, at the times our spirit groans for answers, comfort, and strength.
Those are the times I have sought scripture for help, and unfortunatly I had allready fallen so far I had been alone and was desparate, but thats how it is for us it seems, we ussually go along untill something happens we need answers to, then we read the instructions.
So if you want Red Green to run the scripture referance part of this thread, I'm your man.
I was talking to a good friend of mine about the resilience part of AoM you referanced earlier.
It was clear that the word resilience could be cross-referanced with the popular expression heard in Christian circles of an action called, "Rebound"..
IE Pulling yourself up out of a pit God never wanted you to fall into using "rebound".
Of course there are some small differences in conotation. Resilience as an expression can almost sound like you never suffered a setback, and can be critisized as having tunnel-vision and stubborness. I personnally love to stay on a course and remain determined with passion, and that can seem stubborn also. So resilience as a man appeals to me because I find it nessesary to keep a course straight and follow a plan to the end.
Rebound sounds like you fell and need to get back up, and also has a reference to shame and our consciece or how guilt might play into it.
Then I got the mail from Aom about making mistakes and understanding that it is part of human nature. It all so dovetails into this to me..
You stay strong and head in the correct direction and are resilient to the,(Scripture ref:)"Darts and fiery arrows" of negativity and if you happen to stumble and fall, you use rebound to get back up on the path knowing mistakes are a part of life and do not let guilt or shame cripple you.
Red Green - I think hes one of our fine Canadian exports to the US isn't he?
I proved melody by taking her post count and time since registered - at ten minutes a post she spends 16 hours a week on the forum. It takes 15 to be in love.
I think she asked the mods for my home address after that one. If there is a big cadillac with bull horns parked in front of my house, I will just keep driviing. lol
I just spent WAAAAAYYY too much time on the "Damsels in Distress" thread, explaining to the BW's there that saying "WH was a bozo, and OW was a slut, and there was NOTHING I could have done about it in the past, nor do about it in the future!" is NOT what this site is about! I fear they're gonna come looking for me!
Hide me someplace no one ever goes. Canada, maybe?
I found dat rascal!! Y'all need to put a straitjacket on NG, he is stirring up trouble again!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
we know where you guys are hiding......... I'll have a beer while I'm here too.......
BW 56 WH 57 Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that..... DS 23, DS 25 D-Day Nov 23/09 NC Mar 1/10 Working on Recovery Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
Might as well strike the "No Gurls Allowed" from the thread title because I don't think they're paying any attention to it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt
Subtle? Who needs that crap! This is the MANS thread, "Full speed ahead and dammed the torpedos!"
Ng I love reading your posts because you make me think. Like I needed more of that!
I wonder if in all of that how long it took all of us to see that you were standing up for the MB concepts above all?
Though yes it is true there are some sleazey crazy ppl out there, who's selfish needs are from another planet, the truth is with reality therapy,(take your pick), they started out,(assumming thier isn't a bona-fide chemical and mental defieciency), with the basic needs of others on THIS planet. They could be saved? They put thier pants/slacks on one leg at a time like all of us do? Do we all deserve the same treatment?
This subject can go on and on.. . I could end up like Curly,(Jack Palance), in "City slickers" telling the secret to life is "One Thing", and holding up 1 finger as I drove the point home, if I try to figure out a formula...
So yeah needs were not being met, but who the heck knows what they wanted or even if they did lol. People get strange sometimes and they forget to take others into consideration. But thats no reason not to start wars, well at least thats been how we men have dealt with aggression forever. "Kill em all let God sort em out"
This relationship stuff is not for the weak-hearted huh?
Look, I didn't expect to sway everyone over there, but one person's response was shocking! This person is rightly recognized as the "delphi" in presenting and interpreting MB Principles. The most head-spinning line was something like the BS might have been meeting the EN's of the potential WS, but a potential AP came along to meet them better, the implication being "so what can one do?". Well duhhhhh! Who the hell said that determining and satisfying EN's of one's spouse is a one-time, static thing? Helloooooo - it is an ongoing process. Does anyone think the high placement of SF in the EN canon of twenty-year-old males immutably stays there for a lifetime? And the EN which was number one in my wife's life - familial (child) support - had disappeared and was replaced to a large extent by marital companionship/communication in later years, which led to her straying to find that from OM. That was MY failure. More on this later.......
jt, while you're up, could I ask you to bring me a cold Canadian brew as well?
I have no qualms with this becoming the "Gentleman's Lounge" (I shudder at the seedy connotations that might conjure). Let's be careful, though, that the atmosphere doesn't get us shut down for being too unruly, though.
Yet, how bad is it for us to have a spot to be unruly? To banter and BS? Ah, the thin line... if only we could make the thread invite-only, eh?
Anyway, CP, I have reflected daily on your (gentle) prod on the conversation about spirituality. I had also reflected on your comment that you are "waiting for an epiphany." I tend to shrink away from such discussion because I know my views aren't particularly popular. However, I decided I'll give you a few lines.
The first thing that comes to mind when someone says something about not being religious, but still being spiritual is a comedian named Daniel Tosh:
"I hate it when girls say things like 'I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual!' I react by saying 'Well, I'm not honest - but you're interesting!'"
But, I know the FEELING of spirituality. I know how it FEELS different than any other emotion, and in that feeling you feel CONNECTED to everything and something larger than yourself.
Yet, what conjures these feelings for myself is not something magical, mystical, spiritual, or divine. What conjures this in me is the idea of how HUGE our universe is, how SMALL we are in comparison, and how despite all of that, we ARE connected to everything, and that the universe AS A WHOLE is something far greater than ourselves even without mystical forces, spirits, or divinity. More-so, I think that can be recognized by those who DO believe in things mystical, magical, spiritual, and divine, and through that, they can stand in even MORE awe of those forces.
Beyond that, I believe that that spiritual feeling is a PERSONAL connection to that which an individual views as the greater.
For myself, my own epiphany came when I stopped waiting, and started looking... and then when I stopped looking for it in OTHER PEOPLE, and looked within MYSELF. Why would I look for a personal connection to something greater than myself through other people, who are not?
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
Unruly? I don't think I have seen that yet. When someone brings a keg and a bunch of sheets to make togas then we can worry.
Ran into something last night, not holding it up as a great resource or anything but it was funny and entertaining and some might pick up some stuff from it on relationships.
Utube "hogwild relationship advice" its a comedian who answers emailed questions. Its a paid site and mostly amateurish but some of its funny. Might also be a few tidbits in there.