Can a person have the "heck with it attitude" and still Plan A. I am not wanting to see WW that much the last few days as I'm not very pleased with her... When I do see her I am pleasant and act upbeat but I am not making any attemps to see or contact her. She knows my number if she wants to talk about anything.

Yesterday when she stopped to pick up DD I kept her at the door. She seemed like she wanted to chat but I kept it short and had DD ready to go. This might have been wrong and maybe I missed a chance for deposits in LB but I'm getting tired of this crap. I know it's a marathon and I will find some more energy. Thanks

Well it's been a few days. Not much has changed. WW moved into her new Apt. Saturday. No help from me. She was supprised when I said my truck was not available for her to use. I said it would be if it was moving her stuff home. I did see her place the other day when she wasn't there. I was with my DD so she could pick up some stuff. I noticed that she had our wedding picture and another picture of us next to her bed. I don't know what to think about that. She has been very talkative the last few days. She can turn it on and off like a switch!

I find my self having the F it attidude more often. I still am very nice to her when I see her but I am also getting a little tired of this game. Plan A isn't as easy as one would think. There is a fine line between feeling like a door mat and trying to meet WW needs when she has this wall up. Maybe I am getting through once in a while but I don't know. She won't talk about us at all. Anyways I'm still fustrated and pray that each day is better. Thanks

Oh, I hear you, F.

There are sometimes that I have to walk away from a situation/ leave it alone so i DON'T DJ and LB with AO's.

You are only human, and I think you can cut yourself some slack on that thinking.

Hopefully, your LB is not depleated and you can bounce back in.

The LB is not depleted and that is what makes it tough. WW still finds a way to make a few deposits even if they are small. I'm not sure why I let that happen. I guess the heart sometimes believes what it wants!! Thanks BBC

Well I seen my WW at our DD music event. I saw that she had saved a seat for me next to her but I chose to sit somewhere else. Ran into her right after and I was kinda cold to her. Didn't say much but Hi and Bye to her. She seemed suprised and like she wanted to talk a bit more but I just wasn't up to it. If I felt she had something important to say I would have but what she did say to me seemed like lies anyways. I won't waste my time listening to garbage. Oh well onward and upward!

Slow, down there hoss.

Have you read the carrot and stick of plan a? Today, right now, you need to understand the differences of plan A and plan "FU".

you need boundaries, you need to stand up fro your M, without taking units from your WWs love bank. (while protecting your own love bank balance.)

Plan a when you are learning and gathering info.

Sound hard to do?
kinda is.

Just found out that my WW was suppose to be out of town for work. All a big lie. Sun and Monday with OM#2. I also just got a phone number for OM#2 which has now become a PA not just and EA. OM#1 seems to be out of the picture for now. I am going to call this person today and let OM#2 know what is up with WW and me. I have exposed this OM#2 already when it was an EA. I will not threaten him in a way that would get me in trouble but I am going to be very direct in what I tell him. Any suggestions? I am so hurt and angry I am shaking!! Thanks

Just spoke with WW. Asked her about her (out of town meetings)man how can they tell so many lies. She said she felt like I was drilling her-she asked if I wanted receipts? I said no but now I know where they met. I asked her if we could talk tonight, she said yes. Should I call the OM#2 when I am with her? Call him before? I am also going to call his mother seeing that is all the other info I have. I also have a list of 4 persons for a person he is seeing. How do I call to find out if it is the right one? Help please. I don't want to mess this up!. Thanks

Expose the PA , start with his mother. Then expose to your wifes side as well. She has Receipt I've seen this before from an OM elsewhere. Don't believe a word she says she and the OM will have already spoken and have a planned response.

Called an attorney today to set up an initial consultation about divorce. I just want to be prepared. I had asked WW several times if she wants one and the answer was either no or I don't know. WW ar liars on most everything. Haven't heard back from the attorneys office yet.

Hang in there Fishing. I heard the same things. WW's heads are so screwed up its unbelievable. She probably don't even want to think about it.

I've decided to wait a few days to contact OM. I see an attorney tomorrow morning. WW will not be seing OM for atleast a few days. If I was to do it right now WW will figure out where I am getting my information. I will also record the call and I will write down what I am going to say so I do not get off track. When I have said everything I will simply hang up. I will also have it written down on what I will say to his mother.

This is probably going to happen faster than I can write a good Plan B letter. I will follow plan B as best as I can. The kids are an issue as I know no one in town that would be an IM. I also take every chance I can to be with DD.

I am curious to see how WW will react when she gets a call from OM telling her I called! Bet she doesn't talk to me for at least a week. Ha! She will be very confused as now it is in th open again and she will probalbly wonder how to face the kids and our friends. She has caused me enough hurt so if she feels some herself so be it.

Any thoughts or suggestions??

Well not much has happened. Talked with an attorney and got some advice from him in case things go south on me. Talked a little with WW the other day. She says she would like to go out on a date-she said that would be nice??? I figured I would wait until the end of the week to ask her out. Might try golf and dinner.

Better get back to work.

Okay I have sometime. I am nervous about this date thing. Excited yes!. I can see she still is having email contact with OM#2 but they have made no plans to get together again so far. OM#1 has not been in the picture for sometime now. Last night I sent her a text told her good night and that i loved her. She replied back goodnight I love you too!

I get really confused by some of this. Could this be true?? What should I expect from our date?? I'm nervous about the future of our marriage and how to do this right. Many issues have not been addressed by her yet but need to. I guess I'll have to wing it and keep the date light and upbeet. I'll address the issues remaining with her at a seperate time.

Well here is the latest with WW. I asked her if she would like to go out on a date. She said yes, so this weekend I took her out golfing-just us two-. This went well, we kept the conversation lite and not about our relationship. She was fairly talkative. We seemed to have fun together. Afterwards I asked if she would like to go and have some dinner. She agreed but we did pick up our DD to come with us.

After dinner we went back to our house where she had her car parked. WW kissed DD gooodnight and I walked her out to her car. I said I had a good time and she said she did also. We gave each other a hug and I kissed her cheek and told her thanks for a nice evening and that I loved her. She replied back the same answer.

The next morning WW came over to the house to pick up a key for our storage unit so she could get some stuff. Brief meeting but went well. When she was getting ready to go I stopped her and said that we needed to talk about us someday soon but until then I said " life is okay with out you but it is better with you, I miss you and love you". She replied " I love you too", and then gave me a hug goodbye.

I believe I still want her back in my life-with some bounderies set up and precautions. Am I reading to much into this or does it seem as she had a moment out of the fog. I hate to get my hopes up. Thanks all!

Okay, this weekend WW had her date cancelled by POSOM-Good for him- so she came to our home for a end of the year party for our DD. We got along well, she gave me a hug and told me "today was a good day". Next day I brought DD and friends on the boat. WW came with for awhile. Again pretty good time. Sunday, called WW she was buying flowers to plant for our home and of course some for her place also. She stayed and we planted the flowers and again had a good time.

Not sure what to think? Is this good? Is this just an acting job for her? Sent her an email telling her that I had a good time this weekend and missed alot of the things we did together in the past. Told her I loved her and wanted to spend more time with her. She was accross the table on her computer when she got it and read it. No comment just a smile and said she received it. What could she be thinking? Am I pushing her to much?

I told myself I would give her three months to decide if she was willing to work on our marriage. I have just under a month to go? Any advice on how to handle or start that conversation? Thanks

Need some thoughts. My WW is still in contact via email with OM#2. Just idle chit chat. We spent alot of the weekend together and I asked if she would like to do something together this Friday and maybe golf this week. She said she had an open calendar and that we maybe could. Also for the holiday in July she said she would possibly hang out with me and the kids some of that time on the boat, parade etc..

I did see when she chats with OM#2 she never tells him of the things we (as a couple) do together. She also refers to me as her ex. I am in Plan A with her still. What am I suppose to think about all of this? Should I continue with Plan A even though there is the thought that she is just having her cake and eat it too. I do blieve I have been able to put some small deposits in the $LB, Any thoughts or suggestions. I still do L her and want this to work. Thanks

I need to take a couple days off from Plan A. WW doesn't or won't allow any deposits. It's like if she is having a good time with me she fights it. Kinda like if she enjoys herself than I win! This isn't a competition of who wins we both should be in a win/win thing.

She has done a few things in the last few days to really tick me off. She knows I am upset. Doesn't help that I told her she has a few bills to pay. 1/2 is hers anyways. I think I will just avoid her the rest of this week so I can charge myself back up.

I have a sneaking suspicion that she may be thinking about seeing OM this weekend. No proof, just a gut feeling.

Okay, I have been emailing WW and said we need to talk. I said it has been long enough since we seperated that she should know if she wants to work on the marriage. 2 1/2 months. I'm not forcing the issue of moving back home because there are alot of things each of us need to agree on first. Just want to know where she stands. I am not going to talk divorce but let her know what I want and that it is not all about her. I am a person also with wants and needs. I am going to confront her about her OM, her morals, and her lying. If she is pizzed off so be it. Depending on what happens the Plan B letter is in the works. I know how WW operates and I have a bad feeling she may jump to the D option. I don't know how someone after 14ys M and together 18 yrs. could just jump to that without first trying to make it work is beyond me. She is in a fog though. No agreement on divorce from me.

Fishing,

I am bumping for you, but What Plan are you in? I think you are tuned in to MB, so I am confused as to where you are. A or B?

I'm sure others will be along as I don't advise, but I have to say that your post is very confusing. Others may read the same?