Well its a good thing folks, lol.

I might be moving where there is no internet for awhile, or up north to take care of my aging Mom and my Dad who is in a nurseing home. I just can't tell if or when the contact with the forums will stop.

Just want to say goodbye if that is what happens, and thank you all for sharing your personal storys, with all the pain and victory over it that comes with being human.

This forum has reconnected me and taught me quite a bit, but mostly that I will allways be human, and subject to the same as other humans, no matter how hard we try to be strong alone.

Don't be surprised to see me still around, as things have come up but I am not sure what will happen yet.

Just want to have the decency to thank every one of you.


God Bless

You're a great poster, CP. I hope you'll still be able to drop in and stay awhile on occasion!

Me too!

CP, we are almost blood-brothers! You preceded me on the forums by less than three weeks. I hope you manage to find a way to check in from time to time (libraries often have Internet connections, and Starbucks now seems to be everywhere...).

Good luck and God speed.

It seems that I did not have to take the break I expected and am still here for now. This place is like a family to me and thank you for the responses Sisters and Brothers..

See ya in the funny papers.

Awww, you just couldn't stand the thought of being away from us! Go ahead, you can admit it!

I would have mixed feelings about you leaving this board for awhile C.P. You are so generous with your thoughts and feelings, and really help us all to think. You share so much about who you really are. It's been EXTREMELY helpful to me, and I'm sure to others. I would honestly hate it if you were gone.

However, I know it can take a lot of time to post on these boards, and I want you to have a full life, so on the flip side, I'd be happy for you in that respect.

Just don't ever go away permenantly. I want to know how you're doing.

Aw thanks MJ, but I doubt if I will be going anywhere soon. I am a proud card carrying MB addict. Besides my plan for my own full recovery involves being affiliated with good people, so if I have helped anybody at the same time I am being helped.

My life has been full, and it is made even fuller by finding such real and brave people here also. A lot of what we percieve has to do with our outlook, and what we find valuable. As you have stated also, good friends and good times are worth more than gold. Right now I am easing back into that.

My original post of my having to take time off from the forums was put out because I thought I would be moving to someplace where I would not have an IP. I did not want anyone to wonder what happened to me, because I post so much here, so I was just being polite. The response was encouraging and really nice to hear from all of you, so thank you again.

As far as a full life I will eventually get out more as I find part time work and go to school, and my plans do not include any relationships that will go deeply into the opposite sex for I figure about 5 more years. At this age I know myself and what I will need to feel good enough about myself, and also put the past behind fully where triggers will not be a problem. The last thing I want to do is worry about who I am with or think of past pain that they might heal me from.

For the first time in my life I will be certain that I am really ready for my next seriuos relationship and until then be very careful of the good friendships I plan to have also with women. Yes, I can be a good friend to women and keep my boundaries strong, but I really don't want to be friends with women with weak boundaries either, and I don't respect the Damsels in distress types, anyways, so that doesn't cut any slack with me. The weaker sex? Hah, beleive that and I have some oceanfront property in AZ to sell you too. lol.

Its going to be interesting years from now if and when I look on the market for a date. I never did well with the sleeping around fantasy other men I know have, and have allways been a seriuos guy, although I can play that off with a sense of humor to hide it. Right now I have had enough of seriuos stuff in relationships, and am smart enough to know that the casual dating with friends with benifets is really fooling yourself if your not in love, so it will be interesting what will happen there in the future. So much growing and healing still left before I am really ready to look for the one I want to be with. As many have told all of us in times past, it makes no sense to rush into it anyways until we know we are ready. Fred said this on another thread, as Kaystamper was talking about the "Confidance Quotient" that women are attracted to, when I was asking about when will I know when its time to move on. Fred said, "If you don't feel ready then you aren't" I kinda allready knew that, but needed to hear it to be sure. These friends here are awesome.

Ya know, it is at precisely the time when you are not looking for it, and do not need it, that you find someone in your life that fits like a glove. I am still wondering how that will play out, seeing that the role of a man supporting his wife and family is gone for me as I knew it, and now I still have children who I want to be there for as an adult role model. It will be good for me to adjust to that role and see how it can be incorporated into a shared life with someone else. It will also take time and effort to grow up and out of the pit I have let myself fall into, with all the good intentions ,that need to be put in thier place, in maturity and balance.

While I am blowing hot air about that subject, lol. My therapist told me I seem like a social person and that getting a job will be good for me. She also said it would be good for me to go out and have fun. Lol, I countered with,"Well my late wife used to tell me I was too seriuos too, and that I didn't do anything fun anymore, so maybe she was right". (Should I add boo-hoo?). The IC looked at me like she wanted to smack me lol. See I still allow myself to look at her demise as being my fault, and she understood that was a DJ to my late wife in a backhanded way. She knows I know better and wouldn't dignify that with a response.

Wives actions had nothing to do with having fun, unless you can call total outrageous behaviour the only way to have fun. You know, getting together with the girls and turning on men for attention and getting twisted as fun. Maybe for single young women for a time in thier lives, and then only once in a while, but not as the only form of fun. But I knew my wife was lost in a place we never thought she would go back too. God I hope there is other fun adult behavior out there lol. Personnaly I have a hard time thinking of myself as an amusement ride and as an adult at the same time, although I have been on the rollercoaster a lot.

Yes there is that question I ask myself, when will CP get a life? I am sure I will slow down in the forums, at least I hope I will be moving on, and not have time like I do now, but for as long as I can, I will probably hang around and continue to give my perspective, because a healthy fully recovered marriage was so close in my life, and these principles in MB, if they were known and followed by me and my late wife,(I would have fully agreed with DR H and insisted she went to AA if I had this place as a source way back then), she would be here too here too now helping everyone in the same fevor as all the vets. A lot of why I am here is a tribute to the "recovery that almost was", before her particular form of alien took her away.

So see, I too am still in mourning, and I trust it will take time to fully recover, and I am OK with that too, and yet I will not stay in the same place, because she would in her right mind not want me to, as I would not want her too either. But I am determined to make my life count while I am here, and as my 19 year old son said. "It will never be the same kind of love, but you will love again just as much". Damn I am proud of them.


So MJ, It will be an interesting journey, as least as interesting as it has been, and this time could be the best time of my life. I am giving myself a 5 year minimum until I even entertain the thought of looking for a relationship. I might go to a movie as a friend if it so strikes me, but that carries the "dating" stigma, so it will have to be with a pretty cool women with her head screwed on straight. I am sure I will find real people when I go to work again and to school, and will eventually loosen up and have fun and go out. I like people and have a good sense of humor, its the deep drama I can do without.

God help me I don't fall on the floor laughing when the first sad Damsel in Distress starts batting her eyes and sobbing about her boyfreind or life to me though. she might really be having a hard time but I will be carrying a card to the local clergy, a good therapist, and have this website url and a number for the local police written on the back for her. My father from planet Krypton will have to show up and show me the fortress of solitude before I try to act like Kal-el again.

Thanks for listening to my babble MJ. I will probably be around for a long time. Enough to become one of your favorite PITAs. The friends her are to die for! ((Hugs))

You'll need a note signed by Mel & myself before you are allowed to leave.

Any further discussion of your leaving will result in severe teasing and taunting.


Behold evidence > The Cruelty of MB Koolaide Kids

Don't make me go there.

CP, you've done it now.

TJ/Pep-- oh no you didn't. /TJ

ROTF & LMAO and PIMP

PIMP??!! Rotflmao. I get it. Ya know, they sell things to help with that problem. Whether you need them DEPENDS on if you PIMP often.

You're a nut!

Hey,..
Cmon,..
Yaknow..

No fair editing and checking off the "Show edited" mark..

You know who you are...

Rules?
There are no rules in a knife fight.

God I hate to ask about that Sigline...

I wasn't talkin to you about rules,...I was talkin to the pink rainbow bunny costume person standing behind y....



Happy Fathers day to all you peeps out there.

Ahhhhhh
I left out "Bunny".
Thanks.
I must add to the list ....

I like to annoy certain peeps .... My Schmoopie.

Lol well those "peeps" definatly look annoyed. They are all takin a poop on that womens head at the same time.

Waitin for my boys to pick me up and take me out for a steak dinner....Ho Hummm...De..Dum..de dumm...


Whats your excuse?


Seriously... no heck with that, its fathers day. Why don't I act like a child on fathers day?

Have a happy Sugary Sweet Pink Peeps Fluffy Cotton Candy Baby Rainbow Bunny Bubbles Kitty Schmoopie huggin day you awesome women from heaven.

Proverbs 31
King James Version (KJV)


Proverbs 31
1 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.

2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?

3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:

5 Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.

6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.

7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.

8 Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.

9 Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.


29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.


Every Day on CPs threads are heavy it seems


Have a purple Smurfy day Pep