Make the text something light and funny.
And cryptic.

Like ....

"Spicy or mild?"

When he says ... "Huh?"

You say "coleslaw".

LOL

You get the idea.

Oh Pep, you kill me.

dmh, if your Taker starts to rear her ugly head today, just remind her that you WILL be getting into Plan B. Just pretend that you are going for an academy award. Be the best actress ever.

Thinking of you today. I remember how hard it was to o Plan A face to face.

Yeah, I didn't think it was going to be a big deal, but I am so nervous thinking of what he may do to get on my nerves. Last time we were around each other to any extent was when I let him in the house to see the kids since they were to sick to go anywhere. He talked to her while lying in our bed with me and my 2yo daughter. Then he spent a good bit of his time texting back and forth with her to the point that told him it was time to leave. They were in a relationship at the time, but if she knows he's going to be with me today, I can almost guarantee there will be a few. This INFURIATES me. It makes me feel jealous (which I have no problem stifling), but what I cannot ignore is that it's SUPPOSED to be time he's spending with the kids. Here I am getting worked up about something that may not even happen. That's no good. I know.
I really hope I can pull this off. Thank you so much for the words of encouragement.

If he does get a call or text from her, you should distract him and then say something like, "No cell phones today, it's family time." Say it sweet and with a smile on your face. DO NOT TALK ABOUT OW. She doesn't exist today. Make this as light as possible. A great Plan A moment is what I want to hear about.

And I am a little angry about your last post. Sitting there, on the same bed as you texting. ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Also, stop calling what they were doing a "relationship." It is what it is. ADULTERY. You can't have a relationship with another person when you are married to someone else.

Rant done.

Thank you for the advice.

I was pretty angry about that. He actually texted and talked to her in bed with me,the baby, and middle son. I ignored the text, but after the phone call I asked my son to leave for a second. I calmly said to him that it is one thing to commit adultery, but please do not call her in my home. It is very disrespectful. Thanks.

I didn't know what else to do. I didn't realize he could be so hurtful. I don't even recognize the guy he is now.

He's The Toad right now.

Let him know today that the kids are thrilled to celebrate Father's Day with him, and ask him to please turn off his cell phone so they can have his undivided attention. Ask him to do it for the kids.

Tell him you & the kids want him to leave his cell phone IN HIS CAR.

Just "turning it off" won't work, he'll just go to silent mode ...
Stupid Toad.

So I met him there at 12:30 and we left at 6.

When he first came he made sure to mention that he was out until 4 this morning. I just ignored him, but inside I was pretty upset because while he was out, I was taking care of his sick daughter until 2 in the morning. Later on he let me know that it was just with a guy and he was playing pool.

I tried very hard to look him in the eyes when we were talking, but it was hard. He looked away a lot, but we did catch eyes a few times.

I tried to sit kind of close to him when I could, but I didn't touch him. It hurts too much.

We sat on a bench together and he commented on my weight loss. Seemed concerned that I wasn't eating.

We went to the museum and he got pretty close to me a few times to look at paintings.

We sat on a bench swing together. He had his arm along the back, but only "accidentally" touched me once and quickly moved his hand away.

We laid beside each other on the grass. We probably stayed there for about a half hour. Once, he quickly brushed a piece of dirt of my cheek.

I asked him about his job. Looked into his eyes when he was talking. Told him I was proud of him for getting it.

When we got home, there was a message for the kids from him. They called him back. After he was done talking to me, he asked to talk to me. I was busy with the baby (still not feeling well) and I told them to tell him I'd call him back later. He said call anytime. I did and when I got on there he thanked me for today. I said I had fun, and that it would be nice to do it again. He said anytime. I said his schedule is busier than mine, so he should let me know when he'd like to do something. He didn't really give me anything to work with. I told him I was pretty tired, so I had to go. I don't know if this it what I'm supposed to do, but I was told that I shouldn't stay on the phone long and be the first to get off. Is this right for Plan A?

I don't know if I did good or not. This was hard. I feel like he threw me away like a piece of garbage when he left. It's so hard to do all these things.

You did better than good.

I'm so glad to hear that. What a relief. :o)

DMH:

Yea!

SUPERSTAR

You did AWESOME.

I am giddy over here reading this, great work.

Don't worry that you weren't able to touch him. I know how much it hurts.

Getting off of the phone quickly, AWESOME again.

Ubber proud of you for doing such an excellent job. I was thinking about you all day, hoping that you would have a good outcome. Actually, I was mostly hoping that you could keep your taker at bay, and you did better than ever. AWESOME.

Excellent!! You are doing great!

Thanks everyone!!

He just called. When he was finished talking to the kids he asked for me. He asked me if I would put his car on craigslist for him. I told him yeah. He then thanked me and said he'd call us back later because his break was over.

My friend is thinking I shouldn't be doing "wife" stuff for him, but she thought I should ask you for your opinions. Should I not be doing stuff like this for him if he asks?

Meet his REASONABLE needs right up until Plan B is launched.
Seems reasonable to me.

Yup.
You be the dream wife. The bestest wife. The ultimate wife.

Then, well, when you go to plan B, you leave the best impression for him to have in the back of his mind.

You're not doing this because he deserves it.
You are doing this because it is strategic.
You have a PLAN, sista' !

Have you read The Art Of War thread?
I'll find it and bump it to the top.
Look for it.

Thank you very much!