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Can you find facebook pages for his children? Also, try and do a whitepages search for them and see if you can get an address. I will begin a search. 1. call your phone call targets starting with the OM's wife. Tell her about the affair, state your evidence [let's discuss] and offer to meet with her later to give her any solid evidence you have. Offer her your phone # and name for followup. GIVE HER YOUR WIFE'S CELL PHONE #. We want her to call your wife. It was actually my daughter who told me about the OM, my daughter found a chat box open on the computer where my wife and the OM were "sexting" each other. My wife convinced our own daughter (age 21 and in college at the time) to withold this info from me. So a year later my daughter tells me! I confront my wife who finally confesses to it AFTER we separated. So, all the evidence I have is my Daughters testimony to the sexting and her own Mothers lies......and my own Wifes confession. Next, call up your wife's parents and tell them about the affair. Tell them you love your wife and want to save your marriage. Ask them for their advice <-----real important because you want their buy in. And ask them to use their influence to persuade her to end her affair. I'm close to her Parents, but I'm fully aware when the fur flies......my Wife may get their support. I have communicated to them the FACT of the affair and their daughters own confession. They tell me they will support my fight for for their daughter. With that out of the way, move onto phase 2, which is the email list. I would make up a list of those you want to email, ie: OM's children, your wife's close friends and family [excluding her parents, who should get a phone call] and send them all an email. The email should go something like this:
Dear friends and family, you were chosen to recieve this email because you are an important person to Sally and I. It is because of this that I am writing to ask for your support in saving my marriage. I love Sally with all my heart and soul and do not want our marriage and family to break up.
Sally has left me and the children to pursue her affair with a married man, Dr Joe Scumbag I LIKE IT!!!
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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If you can get email addresses to his office staff, I would expose there too. This should all be done on the SAME DAY to get the maximum effect and to prevent them from pre-empting you. There should be NO FOREWARNING. Your wife will start getting calls from people and she will call you up in an absolute FURY. Just expect that. Don't answer the phone until you are completely finished with exposures. In fact, you might let her go crazy for a few hours before you talk to her. When you talk to her, just let her know that you felt everyone should know about her affair. Let her know you have exposed to the OM's family, office staff, her parents, friends and family AND her children. Tell her they are all awaiting her explanation for her affair. She will rant and rave and threaten divorce "I was going to give you a chance but now I am filing for divorce...." blah, blah, blah, yip and yappola.. DO NOT LET IT BOTHER you one bit. It is just the crazy ranting of a fogged out affair addict. Her anger will blow over. \ Don't fight, cower, cringe or try to reason [you can't reason with a falling down drunk] Just say, "so sorry you are upset!" And if she gets abusive, just tell her "have to run, hon!"  Got that? Any questions? Melody: It looks like you've been doing this for awhile?
Last edited by BillCarolina; 07/08/11 05:04 PM.
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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It was actually my daughter who told me about the OM, my daughter found a chat box open on the computer where my wife and the OM were "sexting" each other. My wife convinced our own daughter (age 21 and in college at the time) to withold this info from me. So a year later my daughter tells me!
I confront my wife who finally confesses to it AFTER we separated.
So, all the evidence I have is my Daughters testimony to the sexting and her own Mothers lies......and my own Wifes confession. That is MUCHO evidence. Your wife's confession is plenty enough. I'm close to her Parents, but I'm fully aware when the fur flies......my Wife may get their support.
I have communicated to them the FACT of the affair and their daughters own confession. They tell me they will support my fight for for their daughter. Hopefully they REALLY do support her and will not support her in a sleazy affair. What about your little kids? Do they live with you? Also, I would cruise by her apartment tonight with a camera and see if you can get some pictures. Can you afford to a hire a PI for a day? If not, you might be able to catch the OM over there yourself. That would be a really good piece of evidence. When will you be ready to do this?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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GOT IT!!
Melody: It looks like you've been doing this for awhile? Yes Sir! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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There are no other children.....our one and only is 23.
My wife witnessed her own mothers infidelity when my wife was a teenager. My wife claimed it was a cruel way to treat her children.......now my wife has become what she claimed she hated.
My wife is traveling on business next week......I'd like to do this when she's out of town.
Sound OK?
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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BC, and I am embarrassed to say that he is 25+ years older than she is.....my wife is 42 and he is in his late 60's!Yea I heard that, OM4 was 85 in my case, my guess is that he is a practiced hand at affairs and has a good many under his belt, you will be doing OMW a big favor by bringing this one to the light. His grand-children may be on facebook too, and might be adults. Also try. www.zabasearch.comwww.anywho.comwww.veromi.net people search www.reversephonedetective.comwww.ussearch.comwww.spokeo.com Some of these will shown relatives or probable relatives. God Bless Gamma PS OM4 was also a heath professional, I sometimes get the impression that they think side action is an entitlement of theirs.
Last edited by Gamma; 07/08/11 06:02 PM.
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There are no other children.....our one and only is 23.
My wife witnessed her own mothers infidelity when my wife was a teenager. My wife claimed it was a cruel way to treat her children.......now my wife has become what she claimed she hated.
My wife is traveling on business next week......I'd like to do this when she's out of town.
Sound OK? Perfect!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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There are no other children.....our one and only is 23.  For some reason I was thinking they were 5 and 7. Oh well, change the letter to read 23 year old daughter. And also, after you expose you can call your DD, tell her you have blown up her mothers affair and give her a heads up. Just let her know your strategy. Tell her AFTER you have exposed so she doesn't warn your wife.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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BC, quickly look back at your opening note in this thread. Now consider your current position and intentions. Do you see the difference? You got suckered in by the emasculating societal constructs that equate conflict with evil, and acquiescence with civilzed behavior. You have now been exposed to the understanding that conflict WITH evil is the only true form of civilized behavior possible.
Put together your evidence file, and both sets of contact lists. Then do what must be done.
FOR YOUR OWN PROTECTION - get yourself a mini-audio recorder. Have it with you at all times, and "on" as soon as your formerly glassy-eyed WW becomes the generic screaming banshee bi+ch that appears after exposure.
That is the time when your fortitude and resolve will be tested. Fortitude to understand that what you will have done is in the right, and resolve not to respond in anger and retaliation. Trust me, the law-enforcement goons will love to slap the cuffs on you, whether or not WW's "complaint" has any validity.
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You got suckered in by the emasculating societal constructs that equate conflict with evil, and acquiescence with civilzed behavior. You have now been exposed to the understanding that conflict WITH evil is the only true form of civilized behavior possible. t/j I am glad to know you.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Bill, what is her marital history? Has she ever had an affair before?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Bill, what is her marital history? Has she ever had an affair before? She was married the 1st time at 19 years of age because she got pregnant........1st husband was a redneck...and that ended badly...I recently found out she has cheated before I was anywhere around.
Last edited by BillCarolina; 07/08/11 08:26 PM.
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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Took some meds last night.
Got the best sleep I've had in WEEKS!!
Going back to the snooping today.
I begin exposing the affair next week!!!.......whether it's over or not!!!
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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Bill, your attitude tells me you will be a great snooper and prob do a great exposure job. It's massively empowering and hits the affair in the gut.
Something tells me you would also like the art of war - read it! Theres also a great thread on here about using the art of war to break up adultery. Will try find it again...
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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IVe bumped art of war....
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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IVe bumped art of war.... Indiegirl: THANK YOU......  I'm calling the OMW next week......I'm having difficulty finding ANY OTHER people outside of his office staff to contact and children that seem to appear to live at the same residence that he and his wife occupy.
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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I've already told her parents.
I've already told our daughter.
I will tell our friends face to face, but don't know what to say to do this exposure in the proper way.
A part of me wants to use words like "knife in the back with her hand on it!"........or "Lowlife Tramp"......but I know that 's NOT the way to proceed.
So what do I say?
Next week I call the OMW and the kids they have!!!
Help me with those words too please!?!?!
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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I will bow to the vets opinion, but keep it snappy, easy to remember. Stick to the facts, throw in a fact that shows how very ugly it is though! Impress on them you are doing everything you can to get through to her. She wil try to paint you as the bad guy. Face to face is good, but I found doing facebook first, copying in everyone I could think of, was good, because then when going face to face, it cut down on explanations. If thats not a possibility, maybe write down a few pars, like a script then hit the phones.
We need to get you an exmple or template, going to look
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Bill,
stick to the facts, don't get nasty, stress you would like their support and that you would love to make this work.
Check out Melody Lane's posts, she is the most likely to have written it lots of times!!
and breathe, look after your health, eat, sleep go for a walk. This is a tough road but the support and help are here.
Thinkin of you today across the pond!
Me 50
WH 52
WH in A 6 yrs in total, last 5 yrs JGF (Not!)
DD final 1.12.10
NC letter sent 3.12.10
Working at being the best I can be, the rest is up to you.
He is still a plonker, but he is my plonker!
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We need to get you an exmple or template, going to look And THANK YOU! I'm not too "Facebook Oriented"......how do I copy all my Wife's friends to a WORD document?
BH(Me)= 55 WW(Her)=43 DD=24 (My step-daughter, been raising her since the age of 8, SHE'S MY DAUGHTER!!) Married=13 yrs Together=16.5 yrs THIS IS MY STORYWW moved out of the home = May 1,2011 D-Day=July 4, 2011 Dear Wife: I'm COMPLETELY CRAZY about you!..... as of Aug-2012 forget that last part....Good Luck to you and GOODBYE!!"Mourn the woman she was. Know the woman she is."
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