How do you deal with extended family?

They are pesting me with wanting contact with the kids. Now I have no problem with that of course, but quite frankly, they can kiss my bootie. My MIL babysat a whole 2 hours on 2010 and now she wants all the contact in the world? Quite frankly, get lost.....

Should I tell them to get through lawyer swell?

Not to be upsetting, but make sure they plan to RETURN the children after the visit.

Your attorney can get this court ordered (your possession of them) before they go for a big visit.

It would not be the first time a WS and their family decided to take custody into their own hands.
Getting them BACK is harder than keeping them local. Talk to your counselor,

You are getting great advice here. Hang in there

His family can arrange for visits with the children during HIS visitation with the children. You are not responsible for maintaining their relationship with your kids...he is for now (and if you divorce, for always).

Denying them "visitation" is as easy as saying "no" and/or avoiding their calls/messages.

Denying your husband/father visitation is another matter. As I mentioned earlier...speak to your attorney and be careful/mindful of the parental alienation laws in your state. Remember too, that until their is a court hearing deciding custody, you both have 100% custody meaning it's not illegal for either of you to have them or get them any time any place.

Anyway...call you lawyer. You may need him to send WH a note/letter seeing if he'll agree, TEMPORARILY, to say a every other weekend, wednesday night visitation schedule pending further resolution in the courts. By at least making the offer and "negotiating", you APPEAR to not be attempting to alienate him. [again...remembering that I know you aren't and I am only worried what a judge in the worst case scenario may think]

Mr. Wondering

Wow, my emotions are running rampant. I did retain the lawyer fully now, and I did so with great sorrow in my heart.

But I am a dumb a$$. I told DD to tell her Dad to set up to receive collect calls, but she didn't quite get it across, so I took the phone and told him. He told me he didnt know how, I said it wasn't my problem. He told me that me taking the kids was a complete separate issue from our marital problems. I told him he was out of his mind, an alien, that it was the direct result of his actions. And he needed to take accountability for his actions. I told him I had emailed him the requirements for recovery or divorce and that I was not going to return till either was in place. And I said goodbye.

So that was dumb.

I'm going between thinking my marriage was just a complete mistake from the beginning, to loving and missing my husband deeply.


Boy, and what a diet this is. I'm turning skinnier and skinnier, I've lost almost 25 lbs in 2 weeks.

Yeah, I went back and forth between those thoughts as well. I think it's normal. And to second guess what you said, I did that all the time until I started plan B (plan B is the best!!). I also lost a ton of weight (60 pounds so far). Everything you are feeling/doing is normal. *hug*

I'm beginning to wonder if there is any hope for recovery at all. I need to hear some success stories. My husband is the type that wants to be pursued, he doesn't know how to fight for something. He even wanted me to tell him how to set up for receiving collect calls.

I'm going to file for divorce. I just can't take the pain any longer.

We understand. You should still plan B while doing so.
It will keep you from further drama/pain and you will not 'feed the animals' with your own interaction.

MFJ,

So sorry! I wanted to say just that, and also agree with Reading that you should get yourself in Plan B. That way you can think, better sort through those back-and-forth emotions that you and dmh are having, yet still maintain a LB$ balance...however low today. In other words, remove yourself from the daily drama.

Concerned about such weight loss, too my dear. So common here, sadly. Plan B should help with that, too in that you can focus on a healthy you in mind and body. Eventually. Sad for you today.

Bump for support for MFJ.

((MFJ1974)) Adultery suxs. Your emotions are perfectly normal. No one can tell you if your marriage will recover but Marriage Builders can give you an arsenal of weapons to help YOU recover, if not your marriage. There are success stories all over the board. Some of the people posting you have managed to recover their marriages AND themselves and there are others who have experienced personal recovery.

I didn't know about MB when I was going through my ordeal but I can tell you that if I had, I would have jumped in both barrels to use the program. Our marriage DID recover and MB has helped us grow and protect our marriage since.

Where are you in the Marriage Builders plans?

I'm here, thank you for checking on me. This is incredibly hard.

Men and women who commit adultery are nothing more then the left overs in the walmart sales bin. Trash, that eventually nobody wants anymore. The girls and I, diamonds that need a new setting.

I no longer believe our marriage can be recovered, he is so hard headed and wants to be pursued, and since I'm doing the opposite, he will only sit and sulk.

And he still thinks MY exposing is the fault of all of this. I think he wants ME to apologize.

Yeah, that is really likely to happen.

24 hors of no contact. And I'm starting to destress, dewind and relax. Relatively speaking that is, but removing myself is good for me.

Good...

Now go eat something.

YOU MATTER....your kids need you to be strong, alert and attentive...physically and mentally.

Take care of yourself (and it will give you something to focus on other than your cheatin' husband).

Mr. W

I went for a fabulous bike ride! I love biking with my girls! Chatting about cows, the weather, horses, different kind of bikes, just fun stuff. They make my day!

I'm eating a bit more, actually had a full meal earlier. First in a while. Now it is about me healing, but this sure is a hard road! Incredibly hard.

It is!
Its awful!
You didn't ask to be on it and you are on it anyway!

We all know what you mean and are here for each other.

I'm so glad Ive found it here, it has helped me tremendous, when down, and when up!