Maybe so, but that is what HerPapaBear said too. It IS prolonging the affair.

YOu take a hard line approach when it comes to a wayward. If he is still getting his EN met in any way by his bw, then he needs to truly SEE how life is when she is gone. Plus he also needs to see a tough separation agreement staring him down in the face.

This guy has imho gotten away with murder. He didn't supply her the address of his rutting lair he shares with his skank and he lets that skank bathe their kids. He has not shown any remorse or remotely a whiff of wanting to be a good dad at all. Sorry Mehr. I call it as I see it.

I'd go as hard line as possible on him. He makes MY blood boil as a good mommy.

I mean exactly the same. I was trying to say that the fact that he WANTS to cake-eat, means he still wants her in some way. I'm just not as good with words as I think that I am.

It means Plan B will hit him HARD.

It means Plan B will hit him hard, at whatever point Plan B hits hard.

Right now, sorry to say it's a little mushy. It needs to seriously toughen up.

Yes I meant that he WANTS to cake eat is good news... not that I would give him any cake.

Most WSs WANT to cake eat. What matters when you are in Plan B is removing yourself from EVERYTHING to do with your WH. You shouldn't know that your WH wants to cake eat because it will keep you stuck. And at some point you may convince yourself to let him cake eat and that would be bad for you.

Stop focusing on what your WH wants and start focusing on you.

Get your Plan B darker and don't meet any ENs in PB. You need to separate yourself from him mentally and emotionally and walk on the path of the life thsat you want and lwt your WH choose if he wants to walk the path with you.

Move forward and don't look back. You don't want that marriage and life anymore. You want one much much better than that.

Mehr,

Do not read ANYTHING into the fact he may want or may not want to eat cake as it means zippo.

Look, my xwh wanted to eat more cake WAY AFTER we divorced even. Oh and he was perfectly fine with getting the divorce too.

Forget about anything at all in waywardville. For it's a crappy place to be, and you don't want to live in waywardville. Plan b keeps you from it, and allows HIM TO MEET ALL HIS OWN EN'S and to let the skanky ow do her best and fail.

As far as what your wh wants, know that he is living with the skank in the rutting lair. People do what they want to do and right now that's what he wants to do. Period. If he pulls his head out of his butt someday, you'll find out and he'll let you know. But as of now you GET TOUGH on him and the affair, you get that lawyer to really stand up for you and your rights and stop that skanky and possibly who knows criminal ow from bathing your kids. YOU stand up and fight.

YOu plan B and you seek the best legal solutions you can to protect yourself and the kids both financially and physically.

I am!

So does that mean you're having the lawyers get tough with ow and wh? That she will not be bathing the kids and that you finally find out who this woman is and her background?

Does your lawyer know that they too (along with you) recoup more money if the alienation of affection suit is filed? I have more than 1 friend file these (used to live in a state that had that on the books) and it was in both cases EASILY won. Both affairs ended after that too.

Seems the alienation of affair suits really DRAG the OP into the mud. Makes them much dirtier. (evil giggle). They have to testify on the stand about all their dirty little doings. Once they see that happening, they will either usually try to suddenly settle with you (giving you money) or you continue the trial and they lose and give you money and then the world hears the whole sordid tales..and it's IN A LEGAL DOCUMENT!!! There are records recounting that!

OP hate that. So that's why I say to do it.

Listen, you bring this up A LOT.... MY LAWYER SAYS that I cannot do anything about her being around the kids. 3 lawyers have told me this now. And when I called my lawyer to talk to him about her bathing my kids, he said it would make me look bad in court if I bring up "small things" like this.... overall I am following the advice of my lawyer, which is my SECOND lawyer after I replaced the first one. I am doing all I can.

It would actually be 5 lawyers have told me that, if you count a friend who is a lawyer (but does not specialize in family law) and the second lawyer in the offices of my first lawyer.

I can do this. I hope she does fail. I sure hope the affair ends at some point.



I am focused on getting money out of him... less than 2 weeks to the court date...

You do not simply focus on getting $ out of him. You get CUSTODY out of him and you get the children protected so that the skank ho is not bathing the kids nekkid.

You can also file the other suit which you will WIN overwhelmingly. If the ow tore up your family and your married wayward husband is living with her then case closed.