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[quote=Prisca] I'm supposed to think you're more twisted because you looked at porn? Hardly. Well, that, and the fact that I like bdsm, anal, and sleeping with two men at once. This is a new form of a pity party that you're trying to throw -- get everybody else to tell you how sick and twisted you are, and then you can feel bad about yourself. I will not waste any more time analyzing how sick and twisted you are, nor will I compare you to other waywards. Non of this is beneficial to you, or any one else here. Get back to working on your marriage, ok?
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[quote=Prisca] I'm supposed to think you're more twisted because you looked at porn? Hardly. Well, that, and the fact that I like bdsm, anal, and sleeping with two men at once. This is a new form of a pity party that you're trying to throw -- get everybody else to tell you how sick and twisted you are, and then you can feel bad about yourself. I will not waste any more time analyzing how sick and twisted you are, nor will I compare you to other waywards. Non of this is beneficial to you, or any one else here. Get back to working on your marriage, ok? Will do. Thanks!  I'm getting anxious and nervous about talking on the radio. How many people listen to the show? I have stage fright!
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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I have analyzed how sick and twisted you are, if it makes any difference to you.
I've seen worse, if it makes you feel better.
SB
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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Personally, I think you can leave out your fetishes and unuseful information.
We're not interested in hearing about it.
I just simply think it's too much information, and something I don't care to read about.
Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
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Yep, fetishes or the lack thereof do not change the underlying mindset both of you have that led to this mess.
Just a typical, entitled, wayward mindset. That's the place to start, not the irrelevant details.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I have analyzed how sick and twisted you are, if it makes any difference to you.
I've seen worse, if it makes you feel better.
SB Schoolbus, thanks for taking the time to analyze my situation. It does make me feel a little better, thanks. I must say that your story is one of the most inspiring on this Forum IMO. You have been through so much crap, and even made your own mistakes (ONS), yet you have come out stronger somehow. So, if anyone can help me, I think it would be you. Do you have any suggestions for me that haven't already been given? I want to fix this and come out stronger in the end, like you.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Personally, I think you can leave out your fetishes and unuseful information.
We're not interested in hearing about it.
I just simply think it's too much information, and something I don't care to read about. I certainly didn't intend to offend anyone. I really just want to figure this all out. I thought it would be best to give all information, but I guess you don't need to know everything. I wish I could go back and delete some of my posts now.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 209
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Yep, fetishes or the lack thereof do not change the underlying mindset both of you have that led to this mess.
Just a typical, entitled, wayward mindset. That's the place to start, not the irrelevant details. You are right, it's the "entitlement" feeling that I have a problem with. I did feel entitled to have the 3some. I felt like, well, since he had affairs with two women, I should be able to have sex with someone too. I know it's wrong. I know it's wayward thinking. At the same time, I still feel entitled after being so betrayed. This is absolutely what I need to change.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yep, almost 11 years. That didn't stop him though. Ugh, I feel so much resentment and anger. Sometimes I feel fine, other times I'm overwhelmed with resentment. It's the worst feeling to resent the person you love more than anything. I wish the Harleys would get back to me. I'm going crazy.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Posts: 209
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An old friend of mine was here visiting and I told her everything. She sees nothing wrong with the 3some. In fact, she suggested that we have another 3some to make things even (since H slept with 2 women, she thinks I should get to sleep with 2 men). This is the type of mentality non-MBers have. I'm so glad I found Marriage Builders. If I hadn't I would probably be listening to her crappy advice and making things worse.
While she was here, I made the mistake of showing her OM's pictures on Facebook (he's not a complete stranger, I know who he is). I'm not facebook friends with him, but his photo albums are viewable. I didn't contact him or friend him, just looked. Now, I can't get the images out of my mind. Trying to redirect the thoughts.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Well of course, you shouldn't have looked. Don't you know better after posting here for some time?
If his albums are public, does that mean that you don't need your own Facebook account to view them?
Block Facebook as a site from your PC, if so. Never go there again.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Well of course, you shouldn't have looked. Don't you know better after posting here for some time?
If his albums are public, does that mean that you don't need your own Facebook account to view them?
Block Facebook as a site from your PC, if so. Never go there again. I know. SO STUPID. I thought that since I want to work things out with my H that the pictures wouldn't affect me. Duh I will block him on Facebook. It's the same thing I did with OW's page and I can't see her picture anymore either. Thanks.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 209
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 209 |
If his albums are public, does that mean that you don't need your own Facebook account to view them? I have to be logged into facebook to see the albums. They can't be seen just by Googling his name. But, he does have a myspace account that is viewable from public. How do I block a website like myspace from coming up on google?
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
I wish the Harleys would get back to me. I'm going crazy. If you haven't heard anything within a couple of days after contacting them, it is possible they didn't get your original message or that your email is blocking their response. Have you checked your spam folder, if you have one?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 209
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Joined: Jul 2011
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I wish the Harleys would get back to me. I'm going crazy. If you haven't heard anything within a couple of days after contacting them, it is possible they didn't get your original message or that your email is blocking their response. Have you checked your spam folder, if you have one? I've checked my spam folder, still nothing. I'll resend. Thanks.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
An old friend of mine was here visiting and I told her everything. She sees nothing wrong with the 3some. In fact, she suggested that we have another 3some to make things even (since H slept with 2 women, she thinks I should get to sleep with 2 men). This is the type of mentality non-MBers have. A lot of people believe having sex with someone you are not married to is wrong, even without Marriage Builders. A lot of people believe having sex with more than one person at the same time is wrong, even without Marriage Builders. I really think you need to consider picking some new friends.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Posts: 10,179
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Hopefully they will see it and get back to you soon. You would really benefit from their help.
It sounds like you need some new friends...
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Posts: 209
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Posts: 209 |
A lot of people believe having sex with someone you are not married to is wrong, even without Marriage Builders.
A lot of people believe having sex with more than one person at the same time is wrong, even without Marriage Builders.
I really think you need to consider picking some new friends. Agreed. Almost all of my friends are either cheating, being cheated on, or are in the process of getting a divorce as the result of an affair.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 10,179
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 You may just need to move to a whole new place with nicer people.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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