Hi girls i haven't been here in years. How many of my old friends are still here? We didn't make it husband cheated again 2yrs ago i tried one last time with him. No more we are getting a divorce i have come to the conclusion that he has a personality disorder and he will never change.I am feeling good in my decision I got me back and i am staying that way. No more disrespect it took 16yrs to realize he is what he is.

Gemi, catnip, brokenwings, mrs B, heavenly body , sailormans wife cant remember name,zebra baby , CC ..................... my username was flowerseed cant remember my password so i had to register again.
The oc is a boy ,no contact he will be 12 this fall. Our daughter is 15 now i stayed because of her now I am getting out to protect both of us from his emotional abuse. I think I did ow a big favor by staying with him, i believe he is a narcissist or sociopath or both not sure. I hide oc from our daughter until she was 14 i told her after I caught him cheating again with his friends girlfriend two yrs ago. She was upset that i never told her but took it much better then I thought she would. She lost more respect for her dad when i quit hiding his dirty little secrets. I really don't think he could deal with me not covering up for him no more. Feel free to ask any questions u ladies want the bitterness is finally gone. love flowerseed

flowerseed, so sorry to hear about your H's affair. Good for you for telling your daughter the truth. Dr Harley is a strong advocate of telling children the truth.

It sounds like divorce is the definition of success in your case.

Melodylane, Thanks yeah i always struggled with when i should tell her glad thats out of the way. We both decided just before xmas that it just was over i cant trust him. It feels so good not to have to worry about it anymore. We will see how well he keeps the child support paid on the oc. I have been doing it all these years. Its a major relief to not have to deal with that anymore either. with love flowerseed

Wow Flowerseed! I'm relatively new but what happened to you is my biggest fear. I would say it is time as well. I think you told your daughter at an appropriate age. At least you allowed her to have an innocent childhood and that is selfless in itself:)) My H and I are NC and will remain that way into the indefinite future. If I think he is cheating again I have made it very clear that I am OUT!!! No way! Some men don't learn their lesson the first time around. Uggghhh! I wish you the best! Go and live your best life!

Flowerseed,

Not sure if I ever posted to you in the old days, but your name is familiar. As you can see I am an oldie from 99. I don't think there are many of us left.

I'm sorry to hear this, but you seem to be happy with the fact that you did all you could.

Can you stay and help folks? It would be good to have more help here.

God Bless,

JL

Just wanted to shout out to all the ole girls. It's been years since I was here...and things are great! My lil bundle of joy (Jonas) is now TEN! Incredible.

I'm glad things are great for you. Have you ever found a new man?

Any way I went to your first post:

"I do understand the need, in most of these circumstances, for the H and the OW to have no contact.... BUT, what if the OW did not know"

This made me think to ask after you shot someone. Should you be excused because you did not know the gun was not loaded?

Ho ohbratti!!

ohbratti!!!

How wonderful to hear from you! I have thought about you often and wondered how you & Jonas were doing.

TEN years old? Impossible!
I remember when you had him!

And how's things going with the rest of your life? What about on the romantic scene?

Good to hear from you!

Honestly, I never thought to ask his marital status. When we started dating, he was in the military and living on base. When he wasn't working, most of his time was spent with me. There were no red flags that prompted me to have any misgivings or concerns about his availability. Maybe I was naive, but I trusted that he was playing straight with me. When I discovered otherwise, I ended the relationship. I was already pregnant at that point.

Now, he has divorced, remarried (another affair), his ex and I still have contact, we get along well, he has no contact with my son, and I'm engaged with a little one on the way. Jonas is very sweet and has done well without his father in his life. The man is damaged, and that has nothing to do with me or his ex.

Also, I would never take that kind of a chance with a gun. However, I refuse to live my life distrustful and leary of all who cross my path. I use reasonable caution and concern, but do not assume, by default, that I'm being deceived. It is not the kind of person I am and would not be happy living my life with that kind of negative energy. It has it's pitfalls, but overall it works for me.

flower

sorry things didn't work out. It does sound like a life without the mistrust is going to agree with you


ohbratti1

congrdulations on your bun in the oven.