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Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 851
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Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 851 |
When my husband found my cell phone record of calls back and forth to the OM he gave me an opportunity to come clean. I used what they call the "trickle truth" and it only made things worse. Because each time he forced a little out of me, he was left wondering, is that all or do I have to push to find out more? So when I finally admitted that we went as far as oral sex the thought in his mind was naturally "how much more is there she isn't telling me?"
If I would have just told him everything that night I may have been able to regain some trust and respect. Yep. Same here. My M may have ended anyway, but at least I would have had the courage to have been honest right from the start. Not only did I betray him, but I was a coward as well, and tried to manipulate and control him into staying in the M, because I was such a coward. There is a outstanding poster on here name Just Learning who, among all the brilliant things posted on my thread, wrote something that Briliance, no JL is just always lucky when he post's here. lol don't go pickin' on JL, I am in his fan club! 
FWW
"Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough." ~ Earl Wilson
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,093
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,093 |
I think that if my H had just told me the story of his affair, as I asked him to on d-day, things would have been much easier.
Instead, his idea was that he needed to protect me from the truth.
That idea of protecting me was what made the mess fester and stink for much longer than it had to. And it is why, six years later, I still wonder from time to time if I have the whole story, if I asked all the "exactly right questions in exactly the right way" to get the answers and information about the affair
or
if he is still "protecting me" from some aspects of his affair.
There comes a point where you either stay anchored there
or weigh anchor.
It has been six years, almost.
There are barnacles on this boat.
SB
Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Recovered.
Happy.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.
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