Trying, this is not exposure and is not going to be effective. What we mean with exposure is calling up all your friends and family on the same day and telling them about the affair. Ask them all to use their influence to persuade her to end her affair. Everyone should know about the affair, her parents, the OWs parents, your children. They should all be expressing their displeasure.

Nor should she ever be allowed to carry on her affair in your home.mellowing her to do that looks like complacence, which means you don't care very much. You should not enable her affair. Tell her to take her filthy affair out of your safe home in front of you and your children.

I would also go to the OWs facebook page today and copy and paste her contacts into a word doc. You will want to expose to all her contacts too. We have a sample letter you can use.

You will not save your marriage by "waiting it out", Sir. As Dr Harley would say, it is very hard to save a marriage when you become an enabler. Your kids need you to fight for your marriage and their family.

Yes, you do owe her some "time." when she gets home, DEMAND that she end her affair today or this will end in divorce. Give her 15 minutes to end it. That is plenty of time. After that, if you are serious about saving your marriage, then you need to START FIGHTING FOR IT.

When i first found out I was devistated......then i thought to myself what if she has always felt this way.....does it even matter? I know i have been insecure about her for a very long time.
The facebook page has been taken down, because i forcasted what i was gonna do on d day, takes some of the punch away.
She has told her parents, and then told me it was to make her follow through with her plans....wtf does that mean....
She keeps saying "I cant let go until you let go"""" I refuse to give up.

That would be a great time to expose the affair wide and far. While she is off shagging this skank, you can disrupt their tryst by having friends and family call them. That would take the gloss off their tryst.

going to expose....have address and name of other woman
will use my vast resources to pull some crazy [censored] w her
what do you think about a full page ad in newspaper saying that this lesbian stole my wife.....she is not out, sent her text mess from unknown address this am and told her that my wife was lying to both of us,,,,,to make her doubt the validity
i was thinking about contacting her work since that is the only thing she has. I can find vast amounts of information about her if i want i have the ability
as far as my ww is concerned i have changed pw on fb so i have full controll of when and how i post on her page. since her parents and brother are not on board she has no one in her family that will not support her. ya know it starts with i just think my spouse is f....ed up then he got drunk and pushed me....then they remember my affair and think to themselves the is a miserable sob. should i just post on her fb page that any one that supports us should callxxx-xxx-xxxx which would be the number of her ho phone. the one she said is for privacy and i told her it was for secrecy. I know i am venting but she left 4 hours ago and i am stirring. couldnt sleep last night, took no medication so i could see her off. told her i loved her and to have a safe trip and have fun....i was so humiliated when i said that.....sorry for ranting i am just mental right now

she said it is true love. She said to me" remember when i told you that i knew the moment i loved you, i know the moment i loved her too." What the hell do you do w that info. she says she picked me over her because i was safe. she said that we have never been as intimate as she has been with the ow. and that the sex w me has never been intense.......wtf. she said for the last three years that she has had to disconnect to have sex with either atavan or alcohol, and that she feels like a victim of sexual abuse....not able to be physical w anybody.....and then i read the text mess. and i get a whole diff story. I need to out this

Fogbabble at its finest. Everyone is maddly in love in the beginning.

If you want to save this marriage it is best to stick to Plan A. There is a reason she is heading back to something safe. There is something in your marriage that is making her feel unsafe.

Make your home, yourself a safe place for her to land. Be the lighthouse that brings her home from the fog.

Remember the lighthouse doesn't move. It consistently shines her a light. This light is your changes. This light is your behavior. This light is your children. This light is everything safe for her.

Vent here with her fogbabble.

When she has off the wall comments simply say to her,

"Would you like us to grill chicken this weekend or steak?" Smile nicely and go to a different room or outside to mow the lawn. Just avoid her nonsense.

oh by the way just read fb messages and this started with ea in nov 10 and pa started 7/11 she is not ready to stop no matter what i do or say

right now she is as cold as ice
this morning as she was leaving she came in my room and kissed me on the forhead, she might as well have been slapping me on the face. Then she said are you ok( no i am not f in ok you are going to be w your lover, and you are not hiding your giddyness in the least) and i said i am good. she said do you want a hug.......not can i have a hug, but do you want a hug????
Thats just f ed up. so i went to her room grabbed her carryon and told her i would put it in the car for her. I had nothing but my boxers on and let me tell u i have lost 25lbs in the past 3wks and i look fit. gotta give her something to remember..... then i said "i love you travel safely and have a good time. and turned away and went back upstairs. I know i am mental but i need to hide my emotions better

Here is how you should expose the affair. Make up a list of your family members, starting with her parents. Include brothers and sisters and any close friends.

Call them up and tell them you are trying to save your marriage and need their help. Tell them your W is engaged in an affair with another woman named XYZ that she knew from college. She is with her right now. Ask them to use their influence to persuade your wife to end her affair.

------------>real important-------> say, since you are also close to WW, what would be your advice on how to save our marriage?

Go to the OW's facebook page and copy and paste all her contacts into word doc. Prioritize the names and send them PRIVATE MESSAGES SPACED OUT 60 SECONDS APART. I will post a sample letter below. If she has alot of contacts, cherry pick her parents, family and married friends and work down from there.

Dear friend of Skankyhola,

It is with great regret that I send this letter but I believe all of her friends should be aware that Skanky is having an affair with my husband, Joe. We have been married for 5 years and have 3 heartbroken children. They have been having this affair since October according to the evidence.

I would be happy to provide the evidence to anyone who asks.

I would ask that you use your influence with Skanky to persuade her to leave my husband alone. You should also watch your own husbands around her because she is no friend to marriage.

I would appreciate it if someone would notify her parents and ask them to call me at xxx-www-xxxx.

Thank you, BW

Its real important that you get to the OW's parents and family this weekend if you can. What you want is for people to be calling them this weekend, ruining their weekend.

She of course is from a disfunctional family doesnt talk to any of her family.....will it still help to contact them.....??
also have been doing a fair bit of plan a, but didnt know i was doing it. but i still have outbursts where i am trying to understand what is actually happening. to no avail. the plan a seems like it is working, she actually said to me that she feels torn, at that point i told her that i love her with everything that i am, and that i definitely was not gonna make this easy on her. My plan a consists of everything i can possibly do around the house cleaning laundry helping more with the kids. playing more with the kids. just trying to seem happier. about every 5 days she wants to crawl in bed and just cuddle, she said it is ok if we comfort each other. my pc said dont do that you will end up in a state of self loathing after a while..... what do you guys think

Did you read my posts? Everyone's family is "dysfunctional" and I think that is cute and winsome you want to do some house cleaning,[honestly I cannot imagine why] but I thought you were here to save your marriage?

If you want to do some laundry, by all means do it, but put that aside for now if you are serious about saving your marriage. The laundry can wait. Better yet, drop it off at the dry cleaners. That is what they are for. And get a babysitter for the kids. Please don't fake happiness. It comes across like you don't care very much. Sure, don't beg and sob and plead, but pretending to be "happy" while your wife cats around is not helpful.

So then i must be missing the point, i am trying to b all the things that i think she was missing in a spouse. If she rides her bike to work and it rains i go and take her a car and pick up her bike. I am trying to put on a happy face and talk about anything but the affair. i am also trying to help out more in the house and with th e kids cause that is one of her current complaints.. just dont know what else to do

I think someone is gonna have to slap me to get me to understand...she said she wanted a martini last night so i went to the liquor store and got the stuff and we sat and had a cocktail together, which was nice but i was in a distant land not there at all, dont know if it was the atavan or me just thinking of her trip this morning and she actually had the gall to ask me why i was distant

I would focus on saving your marriage first. Plan A does not stand for appeasement. That will land you in divorce court. Cooperating with someone whose goal is the destruction of your marriage will result in a .........destroyed marriage. So, I would drop your plan and adopt Plan A.

And you should be talking ALOT about the affair so she understands that you care. Not talking about it just gives the impression that you don't care very much. The purpose of Plan A is to kill the affair, not to act phony or reward a wayward for destructive behavior.

Focus on saving your marriage, trying. Read my posts. Kill the affair and stop wasting your time on laundry and house cleaning. If your house needs cleaning, hire someone. You have much more pressing matters right now.

Because you are acting bizarro. You should be DEMANDING she end her affair and fighting for your family instead of cleaning house and making martinis. I don't understand your complacence at all.

sorry i have been working with a pc about my people pleasing and my inability to say no to people...looks like it is comming out right now. So right now i Should be demanding that she end this foolish afffair and when she gets mad tell her to just leave(which is not gonna happen) dont act happy, cause she is rubbing it in my face and getting the kids away from their mother as much as possible????
I was going to take the kids to niagra falls this weekend but she caught wind of it, blew up and i gave in and cancelled.....was that the wrong call???