Oh she complains of how much she misses them and how she wants them more, than just conveniently doesn't have them when she needs to take care of posom. Oh and this is the what she wanted on the schedule during her days, and then makes it sound like i made her do it. she complains one minute and gives them up the next.

How is it that you are in a situation to hear her complaints? That should not be happening.

LM, you MUST stop considering WW in any way except dead. It is brutal, I would imagine, that periodically you are forced to release your babies to such an evil force. That aside, you should block her from your attentions.

S9 triggering you with his questions about WW is sad, and probably unpreventable. The sooner you can lay out the cards with all your children regarding WHAT happened and WHY, the easier your life will become.

Hang tough, my friend.

I agree with you. I have considered her dead for a long time now. I have repeatedly asked her to stop talking to me and pestering me. Most of it has stopped. i foolishly met her to talk a few weeks ago, she was pressing me to meet to talk about the kids. I guarantee that will never happen again unless she is someone else.

Its tough to see some evil person controlling the body of the one u loved and trusted. POSOM really has control over her. its sad really because she is completely living her life to please him. Pathetic really.

lostman --

Maybe, while your kids are young, you could look at junior dragsters? They don't cost a lot of money to get into.
Your kids could do the racing. Its a really great family activity.
I don't know where you live, but most tracks run them.

Lexxxy, that was our plan for a long time when my oldest was still very young. I have thought of doing that from time to time and i think i will investigate that again. Thanks.

Little update for everyone. I may end up deleting this post for good and starting a new one. I found out this last weekend that XWW has had 2 suicide attempts over the last month and she has with held that info from me until the second attempt. She did not tell anyone, rather her boyfriend sent the message that if she kills herself the blood is not on his hands. Nice huh? I filed for sole custody on Monday and she was served papers yesterday. I thought that would be easy, but i think its the hardest thing ive ever done. Kids safety comes first.

Sounds just like someone who is coming to the end of themselves
Suicide is the most selfish acts of all
Glad you got the kids out of there.

May God turnkey heart towards him, and for her to see, with new eyes

i pray your right cp. I hate doing this, but she has left me no choice. She has been getting the kids without my knowledge that she has been in hospital for suicide attemps. That scares the crap out of me.

for some reason, I feel bad for the XWW, that she feels the only escape is death.... i must be getting soft...

Thank God you did that. And screw the OM, he doesn't give a rip about your kids. Can you imagine how traumatized your kids would be if she did that in front of them??

You are a good man, lostman, for standing up for your kids. They are lucky to have a good dad who protects them.

Death to self, not death, is the answer she needs

Don't be afraid lostman, she is now in the position, to cling to God, whereas before, he was just a "nice", ideal

Is she getting any counseling? Pastor or family member?

Now that you have removed the children, she is left alone with herself and her choices, and that is where she needs to be, and the world is coming crashing down.

Her service to the OM, of which her compulsion drove her, has proven to be a service to emotion, and he has proven himself out, to be the weakling he really is, with all his posturing and underworld connections

I pray she recieves counsel, and seeks Gods covering

"though I make my bed in hell, you will find me there"

I have an order for her to get a psych evaluation and i so want her to get counseling. she needs professional help and i really want her to get back into church with her parents. her parents are trying to get her to move back home with rules and NC with OM.

RMX- I completely understand where you are coming from. I was in tears after i left the lawyers office. Im not one to cry-ever. I was so upset that she has brought me to this instead of choosing the right things to do. I hate this situation to the extreme and i really do feel bad for her. I want her to get her life together, im just not sure she wants to.

I have gone to complete no contact with her this week. I've arranged some supervised visitation with her mom one night a week and every other weekend until the court date. I have some compassion here, I want her to remember her kids. I dont think she remembers anything about being a good person.

I filed for sole custody on Monday and she was served papers yesterday...I think it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

Yes, it probably was. But......having to bury your children would have been worse.

You do what has to be done, LM. The ability to manage another's actions is a power not given us.

This is the whole reason this has to be done. She has already proven herself time after time that we cannot trust her. Throwing in suicide attempts makes for a bad decision waiting to happen. I am looking out for the kids. I cannot figure out how a pos other man can do this. He doesnt really want her, i have had to many people confirm it, some people heard it come out of his mouth, yet she believes he is so great.

Something, sometime will hit her what she is doing and what it really means.....
You are still being a caring husband........but I agree you have to protect the kids.
I know it's tough and hard to believe, she has lost her way, just leave the light on so when she does come out of this she will have something to walk towards....

She will need a friend at that point.........

That is a good point Jessi and i would love for her to realize it some day. I have tried so many times and she has been so bitter, that she has turned me into something horrible in her own mind. Really its the other man. He is such a horrible person on so many levels its not funny. He is a player, cheater, a liar, a manipulator, abuser and he gets away with it with her. still scratching my head with that one. I have tried to reach out to her to many times and basic have gotten scolded from her each time. He has filled her head with so much crap, its not like talking to the same person at all anymore.

I'd look up abandonedwith3's story if I were you.

His story is a little like yours--kids, and unbalanced ex. It could help.

LostM, be prepared for massive denial issues after the evaluation. She still is seeking to control the situation, and come out on top.

It's still everybody elses fault, and the world isn't fair.

Take the kids, make yourself a brazen wall of darkness, and be sure she is recieving the proper treatment and counselling.

Her life of "letting it out", has backfired for her, and it will take some time for her to get it together, if she does.

How tough are your inlaws? are they savvy to any attempts of her taking the kids? Keep the police numbers handy and maybe a court ordered supervisor might be a good idea for the visits.

Given the nature of the scumbag OM, and her attraction to this sort of man, I would not take any chances for the kids sake.

I have a friend who was beaten by an ex-con when his mother ran away with him, hid in different towns most of his young life, and what was his fathers sin? He was to much into the straight life, and she wanted excitment. The beatings changed him for life, and hardened his heart towards God. All of the children have issues now.

Gaurd those kids.

Bravo to you, Lost.

And may peace and strength find you.

Yes, please do guard the children.

I am only just now finding my way through the Bible and to God after a lifetime of familial disappointment. Be there for them. Keep them safe.

My MIL sees through all WW's BS. I have made it clear that she is to not be alone with the kids. I feel that MIL will be better than a paid supervisor because WW is good at trying to make people feel sorry for her or to like her.

I think her first reaction to my filing was who told me info and who can she blame. Ha ha, go figure. I don't get it, I have proof OM has cheated on her, but the people don't want to come out. Everyone is scared of this scumbags family. I also know he told some people he doesn't want to marry her and she has way more invested in this relationship than he does. He also told this person he doesn't care for kids. Yet this person doesn't want info shared either. I'm tired of people being so chicken $*!t. Most of all OM. He is not man enough to just own up and dump her.

One thing is certain, My kids are in a safer place now.