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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
If you decide to remain married and create a mutually enjoyable future together, then the next decision you will need to make is how to treat Robin's former lover. Should he become a part of your family, with visitation rights as well as financial responsibility for raising his daughter? Or should he be out of your lives entirely?
The path to surviving an affair begins by never seeing or talking to the other person in the affair again. Without that condition, survival is essentially impossible. So it's extremely important for Robin to avoid seeing or talking to him ever again. Granted, the affair may be over, but I am always concerned about the possibility of it becoming rekindled. If, for some reason, it is impossible to keep him away from his daughter, I suggest that you find an intermediary, so that whenever he has visitation, he does not see or talk to Robin or you.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
I believe she came here to educate us. The fact is some of us are living with C and no, your marriage cannot thrive if your FWS sees the xOP over and over and over again.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
This is my H only biological child. IF the situation became a threat or problem to my marriage, I am confident we would do what we needed to do. What would you need to do? This is fascinating ..... 
Last edited by Pepperband; 09/06/11 06:30 PM.
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