nothing ventured nothing gained. Speaking as a BH to you, if it was my wife that wrote this, I'd take it. Hope your H gets the chance too.


CV

That was beautiful WPG..

WPG, for a while, admittedly during your struggle with your dad's passing, your notes displayed a....resignation....that was unlike your normal determination. I'm glad to see the real WPG is back!



"She will saaaaaave us!"

Wow WPG. That brought tears to my eyes. How I too wished for the opportunity to recover my broken marriage. I hope you get the happy ending with your BH that you so want and wish for. My situation is completely hopeless, but I hope yours turns out better than mine.

Amazing. That should make a BH's dreams come true.
Beautiful

really amazing WPG.

WPG,

Your last post made the tears fall like rain. I will pray for you and your family. I copied it and sent it to my wife.

WPG, I want to thank you for your support for myself and WW. I don't post much on other threads as I am trying to get through my mess. I feel for you, with all that is going on in your life, you stay strong and determined,when things pile on it is hard to do.

I wish my WW was as remorseful as you. I thought she was in the beginning. I think she was, but she got lost again. I took the leap and fell hard. Your BH and I think some of the same thoughts. I would love to be able to talk to him. I feel most of the same things he does.

The thing is I have learned a lot as I know you have too, and we will take it with us for the rest of our lives as we become a better person.

Nobody knows what the future holds, I really thought my WW was gone for good for so long. Then one day it was her again, then lost again. Point being is he could reconsider at anytime. I was telling mine not to come to Fl that it was to late and she came anyways and convinced me she was for real. It is a hugh gamble for us BS.

Anyways rambling, I hope and pray for the best for you.

Today, I�ll try and pretend it is just like any other day.

And for the most part, it has been.

But it�s not just �any other day.� Today is a day that was once special. Today is a day that I ruined.

Fourteen years ago today, I took my father�s arm as he walked me down the aisle to you. I can still remember how handsome you were all dressed up. I can still see the look in your eyes. I can remember how our hands trembled. I remember how you scooped me up and carried me through the front door when we got home�and all the birdseed we left on the floor.

I apologize for breaking the promise I made to you on that day. I apologize for ruining your memories of that day, and of all the days we have had together since then.

You probably don�t want to hear the words, �Happy Anniversary� come out of my mouth today. But if you read this, whether today, tomorrow, or next year, then at least you will know that today I was remembering 14 years ago, and wishing that I had been a better wife to you, the wife you deserved to have.

And I wish that today could be a new beginning. Whatever day you may read this, know that every day of my life since you left, I wish for a new beginning with you.

WG,
My heart is breaking for you. Try to stay strong. All of your posts have made me realize how lucky I am to have a second chance with my husband!
CT

I am sorry to hear you are hurting WPG.

(((Hugs)))

I really hope you get the happy ending you wish for. I am rooting for you always.

WPG, I did not want to hi-jack the thread on which your comment caught my attention, so I thought I'd bring it back here.

You said something to the effect that your BH had to have been crushed to find out he'd married a "wh*re"! Sorry, but that is so wrong-headed that I can't let it go.

Firstly, in general terms, WS CANNOT all be categorized as "wh*res". If nothing else, the principles on which this site is based maintain that affairs are NOT usually entered into intentionally and cynically. The majority are the result of a series of poor decisions, exacerbated by ignorance of the elements of a strong marraiage and its protective measures (ENs and boundaries). "Wh*res", in contrast, do what they do with full control and acceptance of their actions.

And secondly, Wulffie, I object to the identification in your specific case. Indirectly, it insults and demeans the efforts of your colleagues here, who would not waste a bucket of used spit on a "wh*re" but who are very much invested in supporting you.

I know you're suffering with your anniversary date just passing, but fight the urge to let such things reflect on your mental orientation and outlook. As I often tell other folks here, "Eyes Always On The Prize!"

NG,

Thanks for addressing this. As a BS dealing with a W who still refers to herself as a 'sxxt' from time to time becasue of the affair, it's important to emphasize (and she does understand this) that marriage is hard work, she had poor boundaries and made a series of unprincipled choices which led to a very immoral act. Period.

That does turn a person into a whxxe or a sxxt. Especially, I feel, if said person chooses to end it, correct their behavior and spend a lifetime living the protective measures to protect the marriage.

Good insight, and thanks for your imput.

HFD: I'm sure you meant "does NOT" turn a person ... Right?

of course...I hadn't had my coffee yet :-)

I'm worthless without caffeine!

Thanks, NG and HFD...I guess I am just feeling down on myself lately and life in general. It's not just my M. I'm stressed and overwhelmed with a lot of things. I try not to burden my mother with what I'm dealing with on top of her grief...I feel like my friends think I'm Debbie Downer, and I have avoided posting an update on my own sitch b/c I only feel like I'm venting. And the one person I need to believe in me, I'm afraid to know the truth of how he really feels about me. Am I still "not worth it"? I don't want to know the truth.

More than lack of patience, lack of faith, or anything else, fear is the demon I have not been able to conquer.

WPG,
You should post here as much as you need too. This is the place to vent. We care about your well being.
What's the status with you and your H?
Are you feeling so depressed that you can't function or are you handling it ok?
CT

Thread jack

I can't stand political correctness

A person that robbed a bank is a called a bank robber.

Boo Hoo that poor person is being persecuted by being called a bank robber. He's not a bad person, he's a person that just happened to of robbed a bank.

This crap is why many kids are growing up today because they have never been made to face the consequences. Labels are for a reason. They serve a purpose.

Many people before they do something the make the decision that if they do an act they will get a negative label from society. Usually not wanting a negtive label will help them to maintain good judgement to avoid bad labels.

Those that chose to do so any way should not be complaining afterward that a label they do not like gets attached to them.

The guilty doesn't like their label then they just have to chance the label to an xlabel.

Being an x shows that they have learned their error.

Should people be punished non stop. Usually no. But there are some crimes that will get one put into jail for life.

Their have been many a WS that have come here and have worked to get the x in front of their label. They deserved their x.

Deserving an x does not equal having to be forgiven. That's what plan D is for.

However plan R can not take place without x and the BS accepting the x and moving forward.

Once the cheating is over then they are a former cheater.

A bank can't be un robbed.
An OP can't be un SF'd.

WPG you earned your x and then some. Like humpty dumpty, somethings never get put back together. Even when like you have done what had to be done.