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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 40
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Reading many stories and hearing recommendations, I do believe Exposure works. But what if its not a particular OM but an addiction in general: going out, partying, dancing, drinking, etc.. How do you deal with this then?


BS: 28
WW: 22
Married: 3 yrs, together 4.5 yrs
One son, 2.5yrs
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
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Plan A and B are also to be used for toxic situations like independent behaviour....there is an article on how it applies to that too.


If you think about it, you do need to make the exact same point that you do to someone having an affair

which is:

Plan A message
I am fantastic, but no doormat. I'm going to show you exactly what you will be missing unless you shape up.

Plan B message
This is what life is like without me. If you want me to come back to the marriage you will have to show me the same consideration I show you.

The messages apply to all sorts of selfishness.

Independent behaviour in a wayward is not unusual either. Mine was out every weekend with friends. See the title of my thread!!

If you have read SAA, the WS from the couple who spent time togehter and made decisions together found it harder to cheat, because he had no time or space to do so.

The WS who let it go to a PA had a lot of time and separate interests to her h, which made her less accountable.





What would you do if you were not afraid?

"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.

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