Talk about feeling helpless. I never want to have these feelings again. I know everyone says there are other fish in the sea but that seems unlikely at the moment.
I have not dated anyone while we are seperated because I am still married and because I don't want to ruin any possibilty of getting back together.
I just don't know how someone you know as well as your W can change so much with out seeing it coming. Unconditional love is wrong to have. Love comes with conditions and boundaries and needs to be discussed often.

Don't think about dating right now. You are in a rodeo and still on the bucking bronco.
If the bronco ever tames to the saddle......you have a great ride with it into the future.
If the bronco stays wild.........you release it (divorce) and then wander the world with your eyes looking out for a new filly to be yours. There are lots of fillies out there and out of every 100 of them, one would be a good choice for you (emotional needs meeter).
Don't look for a new one til you are done with this ride. It will distract you from growing as a person through this.

Okay?

reading, You are totally correct. I don't want another relationship right now. I do miss the dynamics of having a female friend to go and do things with. But ya, I need to finnish the rodeo first. Thanks

Just received an email from WW. Said she closed her facebook and yahoo email account because she was tired of me snooping around in it. I denied that I was. That was a good source of information. She also must have contacted POSOM or he contacted her and told her what I had said to him.
I shouldn't have replied back to her but I did. I said is it wrong that I am your H and this POSOM is a threat to our marriage and I told him to %$&!! off? How could this be wrong for a H to do that. It is wrong what you are doing.
I can tell she is totally ticked off. So be it I guess.
Now what to do????

Go for a run & blow off steam.
Get together with your buddies and play cards, or pool.
Keep busy.
Stay healthy.
Don't obsess and assume you need to be doing "something" every minute/hour/day/week.

Thanks Pepper, thats what I did and I am doing. Better days ahead:)

Well that Holiday is past. WW text me to see if I wanted to come for dinner. I said I would if it meant that she wanted to work on our marriage. Never had dinner with them. Last words I have had with her. The only words in weeks actually. Which is the way it is suppose to be. My oldest DSS wasn't even going to go to the dinner because he knew I wasn't going to be there. After my youngest DD bugged him enough he went but did not stay overnight with her. He said it just wasn't the same.

Well I dhould have all the dependants for the next big holiday!! I'm liking that. Thanks all, just an update. I come here for my strength!

Wow...Fishing, I am truly sorry you have been brought to this place. I've read nearly the entire thread from start to finish, and I personally am grateful for the many pearls of wisdom strewn throughout, as I am seeking to save my marriage after I behaved waywardly ...

Thanks to everyone for their input...I appreciate it too!

Fishing, I pray that you find true peace and happiness. I am slowly accepting how much true freedom costs...I felt for a number of years that I had an addiction I couldn't break, but now my spouse has called it quits, I am starting to see there is more power in the truth. So I am also starting to see what it is worth.

Well it has been a while since I posted. Not much happening. Still seperated and WW is seeing someone. WW has blocked me from her FB. We did meet yesterday to refinance the house. Whatever happens I needed to save some cash for now. WW showed up at the bank and signed the papers with me. WW sent me a text yesterday asking me to not tell her I still love her and miss her. I had a weak moment after our signing. She says it makes her uncomfortable and she doesn't want to talk to me when I say that. We have been seperated a year now. Very seldom do I talk to her and I haven't told her that I lover her and miss her for 4 or 5 months.

She say's she wants to keep the lines of communication open???? What ever that means. I am on this site to save my marriage but I have a feeling the big D is in the picture soon. I know that I have done everything I could. WW has lost her way and doesn't want to find her way back. I can't change her only myself!

I'll be back on in a while but for all who are suffering through a terrible situation I pray for you and wish you all the best. Thanks everyone for your wisdom and encouragement.

Have you called the coaching center?

No, I haven't done that. Did call in on the radio once. Read the books a few times. WW has never finnished reading them because she didn't like what it was telling her what she needed to do. WW just kinda lost it. She is trying to live her younger years that she said she missed out on because of having a child at 16. Well the time to do that is not when you are married and have kids at home still. I will give some thought about calling the coaching center. Thank You it's a good idea.

Good, please keep us updated. We have a few BH's, on the borads, in coaching with Steve Harley and are getting great advice.
When was your radio show? I'd love to go back and listen to what Dr. H told you.
What did he tell you?

It sounds like you are not plan A-ing or plan B-ing.

Think of picking one and giving it your all even if it doesn't work or work immediately.

Agree you don't want to be in Plan C.
Listen to what Dr. H says about Plan C
At 5:30 mark Plan A and B
Radio clip on Plan C

Hate to hear your still having to deal with this Fishing. I decided enough was enough last year and filed for D. Although I still hoped she would wake up and come home, she didn't and now its final.

Believe it or not, it was a burden lifted when it was final 3/16/12. She was no longer cheating on me and I no longer felt any obligation or resposibility towards her. It does still hurt, just not as much as it did before.

I know I tried the best I could to save our marriage. I never quit, but I will move on.

I wish the best for you, no matter which direction you go.