|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Your IC, like most ICs, doesn't know what they are talking about. You NEED to tell the children.
If you feel stuck, what are you going to do to change that? Read all that you can read, and follow a plan. Follow it to a T. You CAN do this.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235 |
Thanks scot
I seriously am wavering
I do keep reading and am doing
It is easier in the morning for some odd reason
Me: BH 40
WW 39
S13, D9
Married 15 yrs together 19!!!
D Day July 11,2011
WW in P.A. with OW
WW wants D
Almost done
Former Tryingtofeelgood
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
my i.c. says dont tell the kids...I know what dr hawley says about this.....but i cannot and will not hurt them
What time is it? It's "NG Analogy Time!"
One day, while your entire family is out, a gas leak ignites in your house, destroying everything of, and in, your abode. You arrive home first, scrounge up a chair, and are sitting in it, amidst the wreakage of the residence, when the children get home. Rather than "hurt them" you say nothing, and let them imagine and develop their own answers to what happened to change their lives. #1 - This will cause them to derive various answers, without having the factual basis they need. #2 - They may decide that the wrong entity (not the faulty gas connection, but YOU) is to blame, for taking everything so serenely (to their understanding) while their lives are torn apart.
TELLING them of actions that caused damage to their lives is not cruelty; it was PERFORMING the actions that was cruel.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235 |
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. - Aristotle
thank you ng....sometimes even the smart ones cant see straight
Me: BH 40
WW 39
S13, D9
Married 15 yrs together 19!!!
D Day July 11,2011
WW in P.A. with OW
WW wants D
Almost done
Former Tryingtofeelgood
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
my i.c. says dont tell the kids, i am so confused, I know what dr hawley says about this.....but i cannot and willnot hurt them they are the only thing keeping me alive right now... You can't hurt them?? Sir, allow me to repost some of your own words: The kids are starting to be able to tell. Sleeps in d9 room then about every 4-5 days will crawl in bed w me and want to cuddle. but the 9 yo picks up on everything the fact that her father is depressed the fact that her mother is on the phone all the time and has no tolerance for her children right now...... Thanks that is exactly what my daughter is thinking that her mom doesnt love her Need I go on? Your daughter thinks her own mother doesn't love her!! Do you see where hiding the truth from your children does not work?? Blasted idiot marriage counselors. 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
Thanks scot
I seriously am wavering
I do keep reading and am doing
It is easier in the morning for some odd reason You've been wavering. It's time for you to stop this wavering nonsense. Rome is burning while you fiddle, trying. What are you afraid of?? That she'll leave you?? Isn't that what she's already doing????? 
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235 |
Thank you all for posting today and yesterday. Today I get home and see on spectorsoft pro that we were looking for engagement rings, after 6wks
I am now officially nuts
Me: BH 40
WW 39
S13, D9
Married 15 yrs together 19!!!
D Day July 11,2011
WW in P.A. with OW
WW wants D
Almost done
Former Tryingtofeelgood
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
looking for engagement rings, after 6wks
Well, that more-or-less solves the "tell the children?" question. I mean watching Mom walk down the aisle with another man would probably alert them to something not being quite right.
TTFG, your marriage is circling the porcelain portal, and you're doing what, exactly?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235 |
Well NG, once again thanks for posting
and it is another woman not another man, which f#*#s me up even more. Makes me feel completely used.
I am trying to plan A, but i know plan D is looming
Me: BH 40
WW 39
S13, D9
Married 15 yrs together 19!!!
D Day July 11,2011
WW in P.A. with OW
WW wants D
Almost done
Former Tryingtofeelgood
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 6,352 |
it is another woman not another man
TTFG, sorry, I knew that, and I know that adds even more pain to your situation.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
Have you gone on the radio program yet?
email mbradio@marriagebuilders.com to discuss your plan A. There is a dynamic here with her being lesbian. You may have to tweak your Plan A to really understand her EN's.
Dr. Harley will likely know the difference between EN's based on gender preference.
I would strongly encourage you to seek his help. It will do you wonders.
Her addiction runs deep, and her fog is thick. You may have to shut down Plan A soon and do Plan B for your own health, and possibly to see if it can break through some of the fog.
Tough~
Last edited by itistoughlove; 09/07/11 10:17 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
EXPOSE this thing wide and far or you will be divorced. I am 99.5% certain you will be divorced if you do not expose this wide and far.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
Did you EXPOSE WIDE AND FAR YET?
She can be yours if you are willing to go to war for her. Your most powerful bomb is EXPOSURE. Get it done!!!!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235 |
Well at this point I have absolutely nothing to lose, cause it seems like I have lost so why not use the nuke right...
At this point it is either my marriage dies....or like in cold war times mutually assured distruction!
Thank you once again for making me see the light!
Me: BH 40
WW 39
S13, D9
Married 15 yrs together 19!!!
D Day July 11,2011
WW in P.A. with OW
WW wants D
Almost done
Former Tryingtofeelgood
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
So did you EXPOSE WIDE AND FAR Yet? There isn't much more we can do for you if this step isn't completed.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235 |
For those interested I am still here just lurking for the past 10 days or so........just trying to make my kids life alright
does anyone know how to get to Mopeys origional post i had it bookmarked on my phone which i dont have right now...It has really been a mental help for me
Me: BH 40
WW 39
S13, D9
Married 15 yrs together 19!!!
D Day July 11,2011
WW in P.A. with OW
WW wants D
Almost done
Former Tryingtofeelgood
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 235 |
Melody lane I am asking for help I know you are ignoring me and rightfully so but I am asking god, and you for help. You and a select few others, I feel can help.....I need a script as to how to tell my kids......"your mother has deceided she no longer wants to b married, cause she has found a new lover, that she wants to live her life with., or your mom has deceided after much thought, about 8 weeks that she want to b a lesbian, and tear her family apart. Please give me a script......I am losing hope, that anything can b saved, except my children, not even my sanity.... d9, s13
Me: BH 40
WW 39
S13, D9
Married 15 yrs together 19!!!
D Day July 11,2011
WW in P.A. with OW
WW wants D
Almost done
Former Tryingtofeelgood
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 3,786 |
HAVE YOU EXPOSED? ESPECIALLY TO OW'S JOB? YOU HAVE LIKELY RAN OUT OF TIME. THEY SPUN THE STORY SO YOU LOOK LIKE A NUTJOB.
WITHOUT EXPOSURE YOU CANNOT SAVE A MARRIAGE. IT IS THE SINGLE BEST TARGET TO DESTROY THE AFFAIR.
As for telling your children. Tell them the truth. You know the truth. You know exactly what happened. Your kids are old enough to hear the truth.
Your fear is killing you. Get a hold of your fear and you can accomplish your goals!!!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,357 |
trying, what have you done to end the affair? Did you expose? I will tell you right now that MelodyLane will not waste time on a poster who ignores every piece of advice they are given.
What have YOU done to end this affair??
D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,495 |
My youngest was 14 when we exposed. We were very open and honest.
It went something like this:
Guys, we have something very serious to tell you. please sit down.
You know that mom and I haven't been getting along the last few months and we want to tell you why. Actually, mom is going to tell you.
Mom: I have been having an affair with a man at work. We were having sex and I have been cheating, lying and stealing from you all. I also had an A back in ____when I worked at _______.
This is the core of it. We opened it up for questions afterwards. The kids knew both OMs and wanted to know names so we told them and a few other age appropriate things.
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
587
guests, and
63
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,523
Members72,028
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
