(((((WPG))))))

I'm so sorry

WPG,

Don't forget Romans 8:1... There is now, therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Reading your thread often reminds me of John chapter 8. It was the first text I preached on after DDay.

You know the story, right? The woman caught in adultery. Brought before Jesus, the only one who can truly judge her because only he was/is without sin. Jesus, the one who is fully God and fully man. And what does he say? Where are your accusers? her reply? There are none.? Why? because there was no one who had accused her who was without sin themselves. Different sins certainly, but sins nonetheless. They had all dropped their rocks and walked away. every one of them...

Now, Jesus' response to the woman after she answers him? I don't condemn you either, now Go... Oh yeah... and don't sin like this anymore.

now, it is not explicitly stated in the text, but there are certain key things that are there as indicators... 1) She was silent, 2) she did not make a defense for herself, 3) she was completely at His mercy... These three things indicate that she was trusting in Him, that she had "thrown herself at the mercy of His heavenly court".

As she did this she received the promise that john gives us in I john 1:9. if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

WPG, I see this in you over and over again. no excuses, thrown at the mercy of the court...

There is no condemnation in that. Mr. WPG may never wake to see the woman you have become and are growing into, but it doesn't mean it's not there.

John 8 never tells us if this woman was ever reconciled with her husband. If he divorced her or not. It is not the point. the point is that she received something greater as a result of coming into contact with Christ. eternal Life and forgiveness from God...

it's a good reminder for us all, isn't it?

Hang in there girl. God is faithful. even when we aren't.

CV

Thx CV and Jessie
I could not find the words

WPG, I am so sorry for this additional weight. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm so sorry WPG.
I am a Daddy's girl too.
I am 62 years old. Still my Daddy's girl.
Next week is the one year anniversary of Dad's death.
It hit me hard.
In fact, his death caused a sleeping medical condition of mine to rear up it's ugly head and this disease has been kicking the living snot out of me for a year.
Take care of yourself.
I mean it.

BIG HUGS and KISSES.

WPG your post left me in tears. I am also especially close to my Dad and I try to treasure my remaining days with him.

Know that he loved you more than you can possibly imagine.

Peace.

I have no words for you, WPG, except to say that I'm sorry that you were handed this additional sorrow, and I'll include your family in my daily prayers.

(((WPG)))

(((hugs))) I am sorry for your loss.

Thanks for your thoughts on what to say to a WW. I will try with my WW and pray she can hear what I am saying. I wish she had someone that can tell her what to say. It feels so contrived when I have to tell her what I need to hear.

I wish she had someone that can tell her what to say. It feels so contrived when I have to tell her what I need to hear.

You're kidding, right? I mean you're REALLY trying to make some of our heads explode all over our keyboards, aren't you!

You wish your WW could find someone to give her the words to give you to reassure you of her remorse and regret? Sheesh - have her dial up 1-800-B******T for a spiel, why don't you?

It's not what she has to say that makes a damn bit of difference in whether you and she can dig out of this cesspit she put you both in - it's what she DOES! Her WORDS will not be worth the paper they're printed on. She will have to :

1 - Write an NC letter, to your approval, for transmission to POSOM
2 - Give you access to all passwords to e-mail, phone, facebook, etc.
3 - Write a timeline/history of her affair
4 - Quit her job unless the impossibility of contact with him can be GUARANTEED

and that's just for starters.

I'm going to jump over to your thread to provide more illumination.

wpg- losing my mom was the worst day in my life next to this. so i can relate to your feelings. i hope that you come back- you have been a help to so many and it may help with your healing in time. you are important to us all and your grief can be shared by us. you are not alone.

i am so sorry.

How are you? Have time for an update? Many prayers sweetie!!!

hey...thank you for all the (((hugs))) thoughts and prayers...a big right back out at y'all. I've lurked a few times, once or twice started to post on some other threads, and just thought better of it, I think my heart was not really in it, you know?

Honestly just feel overwhelmed by it all, and sometimes I feel just...empty. Overnight I became responsible for my mother, my dad's mother, and to a lesser extent, my mom's mother (who lives with them) and my brother, who has some growing up to do. Mucking through the estate/financial stuff is a nightmare, and everybody keeps saying I'm doing great with it, but I can't help feeling like I should be doing more, or the nagging fears that I'm missing something important.

I feel like Mom will end up being financially sound once we get her survivor benefits straightened out. My grandma is my bigger worry. She has dementia and is in a nursing home, and Dad handled all her affairs. I had to take that on as well, and dealing with her issues and trying to straighten out her accounts and make sure she is taken care of is daunting. Mom and I went to see her and took her out for a milkshake, and I just hugged her and cried and told her I was going to take care of her from now on. Maybe she's the fortunate one in all of this, she doesn't even realize that Dad is gone.

I feel like I haven't been able to grieve yet, if that makes sense. I grieved so long for my H, who wasn't dead, but lost to me nonetheless, and somehow I don't know how to grieve for a man who is gone forever. I am trying to hold it all together for the rest of the family, and be the strong one, b/c I know that because of me and what I did, I don't have someone waiting for me at home, who will hold me and just help me feel safe.

Mom just told me tonight that Dad would be so proud of me, of what I've been doing to help, and I choked up, b/c I always wanted him to be proud of me. He was my hero, just like I said, and I hope he knew that...I hope he knew how much I loved him. I know I told him, but I probably didn't tell him often enough. But you know, I spent more time with my parents this year, b/c they have helped me so much when H left...I spent time with my Dad, talking to him, and as much as I've had therapists tell me I had "daddy issues," one thing I learned this year is that I have no doubt my Dad loved me...even with all the pain of H leaving, I have the memories now of how my parents helped me this year, how Dad taught me how to do stuff that I had never bothered to learn and do on my own.

I have just been taking things one day at a time, all the while being pretty much resigned to my M being over, and knowing that D papers could be coming by the new year. And on top of that I'm worried about my job, because of state budget cuts and a huge departmental consolidation effort, the bureaucrats are taking a close look at everyone and will be eliminating duplicate functions, so I may find out by January I'm out of work. Yeah, it's borrowing trouble, I know, but I am just not feeling very optimistic about much these days, other than knowing that whatever happens, somehow I'll make it through, b/c now I've got not only the girls to think about, I have to take care of Mom and my grandma, b/c that is what family does, and I know it is Dad would want me to do.

I am thinking about all the good folks here, and my prayers are with you, all of you who are dealing with your own losses and fighting your own battles.

Thanks for the update WPG. Been praying regularly for you.

Thanks for the update, WPG. It will all get better, somehow.

This is better than words:

hang in there the grieving will happen it works differently with everyone it was almost a year and a half after my mom passed away when i just happened to be all alone when one of her favorite songs happened to come on the radio and it just hit me like a ton of bricks i still cant listen to that song if it comes on i change the station.

please keep us updated and take care of yourself too.

Hey WPG,

Sorry to hear about your difficult times. You will get through this and come out even stronger.

Take care of yourself and bet wishes to you and your family.

Dear WPG,

I am so sorry to read about this extra burden in your life. It seems so hollow to say 'Hang on, be strong, it will get better', but I really wish you strength. At the same time... I wish and hope that you wouldn't have to be strong all the time, that you had the people around you to lean on when your legs get too shaky to go on and your eyes too filled with tears to see clearly.

At least you have had a magnificent father whose words and deeds have shaped you for the better and will always be with you. Not everyone is as fortunate. You have been blessed.

I admit I have been keeping away from MB forum. I came back to read your thread to get advice and hope. So much written here is applicable in my case as well (not all, of course); you have expressed some of my feelings far better than I could have, and got answers that resonate with me as well. And again I feel that our husbands are so similar.

I hope the best for you.

Maybe I shouldn't write this, but I haven't been saying what is in my heart because I am afraid.

Life is so short. And it is so fragile. It is all too easy for someone to rip the rug out from under us because they do something hurtful, or careless, or stupid, or flat-out wrong. And then there are the times, as I learned from experience, that we often are our own worst enemies, and sabotage ourselves, and destroy something precious, something we should have treasured and protected.

No one deserves a second chance. Certainly not me. But if I had that second chance, I would love you every day like there was no guarantee of tomorrow. Each morning would bring a new day to show you how much I love you.

I don't care if we lose everything and live in a box under a bridge. We would have each other, and that is what matters. You are home to me.

You told me once you were afraid to leap, that you were afraid you'd fall again.

I will not let you fall. Never again.

We will be OK.