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Marriage Builders Forums MARRIED TO HIS CHILDREN

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Re: MARRIED TO HIS CHILDREN maritalbliss #2554352 10/17/11 07:26 PM
Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 606 B Brits_Brat Member
Brits_Brat Member B Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 606	Ladyrwb, Just so i can get a better picture here.....how long was your husband divorced from the children's mother when you met him? At the time you married him?

Re: MARRIED TO HIS CHILDREN Brits_Brat #2554780 10/18/11 05:20 PM
Joined: Oct 2011 Posts: 17 L ladyrwb OP Junior Member
OP ladyrwb Junior Member L Joined: Oct 2011 Posts: 17	He was divorced11years and I had been divorced8years.

Re: MARRIED TO HIS CHILDREN ladyrwb #2554813 10/18/11 06:28 PM
Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 606 B Brits_Brat Member
Brits_Brat Member B Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 606	Wondering if he was truly over his xw. 1 year is such a short time.....

Re: MARRIED TO HIS CHILDREN Brits_Brat #2554909 10/19/11 05:04 AM
Joined: Oct 2011 Posts: 17 L ladyrwb OP Junior Member
OP ladyrwb Junior Member L Joined: Oct 2011 Posts: 17	Eleven years

Re: MARRIED TO HIS CHILDREN ladyrwb #2554910 10/19/11 05:10 AM
Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 606 B Brits_Brat Member
Brits_Brat Member B Joined: Apr 2009 Posts: 606	Ahhh! Thats what i get for trying to read without my reading glasses! LOL!

Re: MARRIED TO HIS CHILDREN ladyrwb #2554914 10/19/11 05:25 AM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	Originally Posted by ladyrwb My self esteem has dropped to zero after finding out from the questionare that looks are extremely important to him. Ladyweb, how has this dropped your self esteem? This is important information that you need to know in order to meet his needs. How does he rate you in this regard? "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101

Re: MARRIED TO HIS CHILDREN ladyrwb #2555021 10/19/11 08:52 AM
Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 5,736 E Enlightened_Ex Member
Enlightened_Ex Member E Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 5,736	Maybe he's watching to see if you are actually going to do your part, or if this is just a "fix my husband" program. After all, this program is your idea. You have to lead by example here. If he has areas of concern such as your looks, then you have to set the example by taking him seriously and going all out to address those concerns. What if he's sitting there saying, "She's trying to fix me. Just look at her. I told her what I wanted, she said she would, yet nothing has changed. She wants me to change, but she's not doing anything herself." This is your program, you have to show him you are committed to the program. It's not time to sit around waiting to see if he does anything. That will ensure a failure. So instead of getting depressed, take action! Originally Posted by ladyrwb I told him about this program and we each answered the questionaire on emotional needs. He agreed to try to work on things as did I. But that was the end of the conversation and things are continuing as normal. He seems to think, as always, that since we agreed to work on things that all is good again. NOT...it is all still the same. I feel so very vulnerable financially. My self esteem has dropped to zero after finding out from the questionare that looks are extremely important to him.

Re: MARRIED TO HIS CHILDREN Enlightened_Ex #2555349 10/20/11 05:17 AM
Joined: Oct 2011 Posts: 17 L ladyrwb OP Junior Member
OP ladyrwb Junior Member L Joined: Oct 2011 Posts: 17	I needed to hear that! I really need to get to work.

Re: MARRIED TO HIS CHILDREN ladyrwb #2558151 10/27/11 06:16 AM
Joined: Oct 2011 Posts: 17 L ladyrwb OP Junior Member
OP ladyrwb Junior Member L Joined: Oct 2011 Posts: 17	So what's the deal! I have held my tongue, praised him when appropriate, fixed his favorite meals and tried to be totally respectful loving and caring. In return he has suddenly quit being nice and seems to want to try to pick a fight. He has quit helping around the house. This is not working....it is making things worse....ideas please

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