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I cannot pay the mortgage without his income for more than a month, maybe 2. And that will drain every penny we have.
So I'm supposed to kick him out until he finds another job? He says he will quit. He says he can put in notice. He has been looking. This is very good. You can pay the mortgage for two months? If he doesn't quit the job today, kick him out. Call a real estate agent and put the house up for sale. You've got two months to sell it and still be paying the mortgage. If the house doesn't sell in two months, you still have plenty of time to stall a foreclosure action. Those actions can take half a year or more. In the meantime, you can talk to an attorney to help you understand all of your options.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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My mother might take usnin temporarily, but that would be disastrous for all of our mental health. She is an abuser and a pain pill addict. I have nonother family. My grandma who knows about this lives in a sr home apt. I have no one else.
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I'm saying if I make him quit his job, or ask, the. He leaves with no income. Not even unemployment. Then there is no money. And I lose my car bc it is a work benefit. And insurance bc it is his work benefit. He would have to find another job before he quits. And it won't matter much if he does lose that job because when you are divorced you won't benefit from that job anyway. You are headed for divorce now.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I did put in a consultation request with an attorney to see if my moving money is ok. I'm giving my gma 500 to put away for me.
I'm upside down on my house.... I owe 291 and it's worth about 250. How can this all happen? And bad housing market and job market aren't helping
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Then send this letter [change to suit your situation] to your H's employer, to the Director of HR, a key VP and both of their supervisors. Be sure and cc them all.
Developed by Brits Brat, board member and corporate attorney � be sure and send this letter to the Director of HR, a key company VP and supervisors of the affairees, ccing them all on this letter. It is important to cc them so that no one is tempted to toss the letter:
To Whom It May Concern:
This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.
WS and WS are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. WS and WS are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.
If you have any questions, please call me at xxx-xxxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.
Regards,
BS _________________________
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I did put in a consultation request with an attorney to see if my moving money is ok. I'm giving my gma 500 to put away for me.
I'm upside down on my house.... I owe 291 and it's worth about 250. How can this all happen? And bad housing market and job market aren't helping Are you reading our posts?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Ok so you are saying find a job before he quits and everyone else says he quits today or else basically.
I can add myself and kids (and him) to my health insurance but it will cost me 500/mo. $50 I already dont have. And with possible divorce legal fees living on my own loss of his income... Plus therapy costs.
It's just so much.
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Yes melody whAt do you mean?
Ok do I send that letter without him knowing? Could that cause more harm?
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Ok so you are saying find a job before he quits and everyone else says he quits today or else basically.
I can add myself and kids (and him) to my health insurance but it will cost me 500/mo. $50 I already dont have. And with possible divorce legal fees living on my own loss of his income... Plus therapy costs.
It's just so much. Pack his clothes and ask him to move out. Do that first and then we will help you write a letter telling him he will have to get another job and end all contact.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Ok I copied the letter. I'm sending it. Today.
And I need to start contacting his family.
I'm so afraid about what to do about the job.
Is this even worth saving?
If he quits and everything...is that a sign it's worth saving?
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Yes melody whAt do you mean?
Ok do I send that letter without him knowing? Could that cause more harm? \ Of course it does not cause harm, that is silly. And of course you don't tell him in advance.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Ok. I'm sending it.
If he quits his job today do I still kick him out? What about my kids?
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Ok I copied the letter. I'm sending it. Today.
And I need to start contacting his family.
I'm so afraid about what to do about the job.
Is this even worth saving?
If he quits and everything...is that a sign it's worth saving? It can be worth saving if he ends his affair and finds another job. Right now there is nothing to save because your marriage is effectively over. We are trying to give you the best chance of saving it while protecting your mental health. And please make sure that your family members CALL HIM and try to persuade him to end his affair and leave the job. You need to make sure he knows they all know. Everyone should know.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Ok. I'm sending it.
If he quits his job today do I still kick him out? What about my kids? Pack his clothes and ask him to move out. Tell him you will have nothing to do with him as long as he continues to see the OW. Tell him this is profoundly hurtful and disrespectful to you and that you will not live like this. What about your kids? Any child over the age of 4 should be told TODAY all their dad's affair and what he is doing to your family.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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[
Pack his clothes and ask him to move out. Tell him you will have nothing to do with him as long as he continues to see the OW. Tell him this is profoundly hurtful and disrespectful to you and that you will not live like this. And do this with COMPOSURE, CALMNESS AND DIGNITY. No crying, no whining, no pleading. Just tell him you will not live like this one more day. It is too painful. If he cares about you, he will comply and move out TODAY. Suck it up and keep your emotions in check. Can you do that?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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My daughter is 5. She isn't ready.
Mail or email the letter?
I have another job secured for him with family.
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I don't know if I can. I don't even know if I can ask him to get out
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I have a contact at his work who is getting me hrs info.
Ok
1. Send letter 2. Give $ to my gma 3. Tell him to quit his job or get out
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My daughter is 5. She isn't ready.
Mail or email the letter?
I have another job secured for him with family. I would email the letter so it goes out today. You want this all to hit on the same day. Be SURE and send it to several people and make sure you show the cc's on it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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