Right now you're hurting terribly. That's normal.

You're also keeping on with the right actions, even if sometimes the thought of him disgusts you. Also normal. Keep doing the right actions, and good feelings WILL follow.

I agree, one day at a time, he sounds like he is trying to be transparent, my husband did that as well, in fact for a while when he did go out when I wasn't around he would take one of the boys with him, they had no idea why all of a sudden they were going to home depot, the grocery store.........
he didn't want me to worry where he was or who he was with. also gave him an opportunity to fix things with his sons........
just fake it until you make it, replace some of the triggers of memories of your own..........
put that out in the trash where it belongs.....
don't let that skank ruin your future

And even if you find out at some point that he is being a touch sarcastic in checking in with you, be all sweetness, light, and apple pie. "Oh, THANK YOU honey, I think it's SO THOUGHTFUL of you to take care of me like this."

I hate feeling so down. Terrified of lies or deceit.

He says it's good he's not at his work building cause it'd be hard. I said "if you are struggling you need to confide in someone" and he said "I just did. I told you" o.O I dunno what to say. I said oh.

He's on the computer looking for jobs "just in case." he also asked "when a new job asks me why I left what do I say"

I saw an xxx website in my spyware...it says 39 seconds. Do you think it's a pop up? The key strokes say "bbbb" just like the smartmen...which I don't know what that program is either.

I couldn't eat dinner. He didn't eat dinner either said his stomach hurts. I asked why and he said "same reason yours hurts, same reason your stressed"...seems a little tense but he also keeps hugging me saying it be plans he won't hurt me. And now hes singing along to yo gabba gabba <.<

I feel...sad. Down. Like eyeore. I'm short fused w my kids, I wake up exhausted, I'm unfocused, like I don't know what to do w myself and I just want to sit and stare.

hate hate hate this.

Say "Thank you for sharing this with me." And give him a hug. Let him know that it is safe to share his honest feelings with you.

You're both in the early days of all of this and you're still learning how to navigate through everything. It will get better. Pinky swear

I agree, I went minute by minute, each conversation at a time and just got through that one........
I did make sure he felt his effort was appreciated.....
At times I had mixed emotions........It doesn't have to get better in a day, it is a work in progress so you can work through everything that isn't right, that takes time to get better than you did have.....
Your story has moved very quickly and is very emotionally charged, a lot of things to work through together and personally.........
I would suggest setting aside time to discuss things and then the rest of the time try to enjoy your time together and try to smile and laugh a little, try to be a happy family again.......
the worst has already happened......nothing to be afraid of any longer

Thanks it's just scary. I'm afraid of finding a lie because I know what I'll have to do...

I am so restless. I'm exhausted in bed but like nervously fidgeting, shaking my leg etc. I've been up since like 345a. Ah!

Would it be possible for you both to get away for a nice weekend together?

And I really wish you would go to the doctor and get on anti-depressants. I have a bad feeling you are going to have post traumatic stress disorder from living with this so long.

I agree w/ML they did wonders for me, centered me help me concentrate on concentrating and removed lots of the fear. I actually think I have needed them for some time. They really really help.. and they dont have to be forever just a year or so

I know you said they take forever to work but you are going to be feeling up and down for at least the next few months so they will help.

On the website, I work all day on my laptop and dont get xxx pop ups. Try clearing history and cookies and see if it stops.

Do they pop up when you are using it?

The other thing that helped me was some sleeping pills. unisom worked for me over the counter. Also antianxiety medication worked really quickly i.e. 15-20min......but can b abused

Ive tried zoloft and wellbutrin and they just switched me to cymbalta which does anxiety and depression. It makes me sick so I'm on a quarter dose this week, half dose next week, then I go in again. I wonder if it's contributing to my restlessness. Im so scattered. I don't feel like myself. I've been trying to get meds right since the first dday and I feel like I've just been kicked down again so far.

The xnxx.com just popped up again about 15m ago...I asked him last night I'd he's using porn but ge said no. I never really cared about porn before or him masturbating but now because you said it's a no no I'm all freaked out. I can't call him out on it without revealing my gadgets and I'm not sure how important it really is...but now I'm all amped up about it.

I was so angry this morning. I didn't sleep and I'm ip getting ready and he's just sleeping. I go wake the kids he's sleeping. I know he hears me. This is not an effing vacation! You dint get to sleep in and take naps and hang out at home all day! Ahhh! I woke him up and said "can you help please?" ...ok with what..."dd won't listen" he goes and tells her to get dressed comes back "anything else?" gah. I just want to yell "make yourself useful! I'm dying inside and trying to be sweet as pie and funk you!"

Arg. I want to run away! Stupid xnxx.com

I'm crazy.

Ugh. I hate this

(ps she got her certified nc letter sat)

And how do I stop thinking horrid things? He told me they never had sex in his car, but they emailed about car sex-that's a 50% chance he lied and it was in his car? And what if he thinks about her? What of he thinks about her when he drives by her apt? Wants to go in?

Ugh. My stomach hurts so frisking bad. I feel like a pendulum of emotion and it sucks so badly. What if I've made the wrong choice and I'm just laying down for continued abuse?

confused, you are going to think about it for quite some time. I am sorry about that.

One of the first steps in recovery is that your husband give you all the facts about the affair. I would explain to him that you need all the facts in order to move on, no matter how painful. Otherwise, you aren't going to EVER trust him again as long as he has secrets with the OW to which you are not privy. I would explain to him you want a last big document dump and then you won't bring up the affair again. But you have to be satisified that you know everything.

I would get his agreement, and then make up a list of all your questions. Then sit down together and have him answer them and answer any other follow up questions. But you need to promise to not blow up at him. That has to be part of the deal.

This is much preferable than wondering, because that will drive you crazy for a very long time. So, get this done as soon as you can.

And can you take some time off? You have been under such intense pressure.

{{{{{Confused}}}}

Any of us who have recovered have had MANY days where we asked, is it really worth it? That's completely normal, and I would be worried about you if you didn't feel that way, at least some of the time.

Now, I don't really have pity for your husband's tiredness, but still it's a fact that the double life of adultery takes a huge physical toll. He needs to man up anyway, still, just be aware that he's experiencing a small fraction of your own exhaustion.

He's not psychic, either, so when you need him to do something for you, come right out and ask him. Be respectful, even if you had to spell it out and you think he should have known. Thank him and admire him when he helps you. Let him know that it made a difference to you.

Please ignore the rest of my post. I stepped away from the computer for a few minutes, and when I came back DS14's kitten was curled up on the keys. It was just SO CUTE that I decided to leave Potto's special message to you.

qaaaaaaaaaaaaaawy677777777777777777777777777777777777777-0ppppppppppp6=iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii


;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

But what if new questions keep popping up? That's what keeps happening. And how can I believe it's the truth?

I have a few sick days and Very little vacation. Like 1 day. But I'm afraid to take it in case I get sick or worse, get divorced. I'm afraid I'll need it. As it is he's using most of his vacation rit now being off....which is money that could've been paid out ifthey let him go.

Lol neak

New questions will keep popping up, at least for a little while. For many of them, you won't know at the time if he tells the truth. Ask him anyway, taking care not to ambush him with talk of the A. Maybe have a set time where you ask him any new questions you have thought of.

There were several times I asked AJ things out of the blue, and it was very hard for him to be suddenly torn out of his happy place and thrust back into that world.

Somebody, I forget who, asked you if you could go away with WH for the weekend. Even if leaving costs too much, find somebody to watch the kids for 2-3 days, and spend it relaxing and doing enjoyable things with each other. Make them cheap, or better yet, free.

Because your M is in a state of emergency, it is VITAL that you both begin making $LB deposits ASAP.

I could go away for the weekend if I knew what was happening financially, but I am afraid to cause more financial issues. I have about 8000 in cash, 4 of which was supposed to pay his cc but I held off. And not sure about his job yet (which sucks). I could get a sitter and be at home, it's weird. I feel...clinical..if that makes sense?

I don't feel like im getting an lb deposits. He came to sit at my work and is on his laptop in my office updating his resume and looking for jobs and he keeps cursing at msword and his computer and banging the keys. Its annoying.

We are both so tense

About the porn pop-ups..

Scan for adware on the PC, many sites install this when you access them, then automatically run in the background, and are activated randomly.

Its a virus probably