I can answer that..... GOD MADE THIS WORLD FOR HER..... you just live it it....
Its all about HER.

Exposure does not cause public humiliation. Having an affair is what causes public humiliation.

You know something, almostdied? My BH did not do exposure. Pretty much everyone who knows about my affair knows because I told them myself. I wasn't trying to humiliate myself. I was trying to give my BH whatever he needed to heal and to take ownership of my actions.

Suicide is the ultimate stupid and selfish act. That may sound unsympathetic, but take it from someone who has been there. It is not the kind of legacy you want to leave your children. A better legacy is to get some help restoring your M, thank God that you have an H who loves you enough to fight your A, and give your children the best mother you can be, whether or not your M survives. Show your children the kind of woman who can turn her life around after sin and who can stand up and be a better human being.

Oh no, we understand perfectly. What you are not getting is that this wasn't done to shame you, it was done to destroy the enemy to your marriage-- adultery. There is no shame in shining a light into the darkness. The shame comes from your own heart. What your husband did was courageous and strong.

I've been a Christian pretty much all my life and my husband is a minister now. Guess what? He's the one who left our marriage and committed adultery. Had he returned without a broken and contrite heart, we would not be together today and he would still be away from and out of God's will for his life.

You should be on your knees before God and thanking Him for giving you such a strong and courageous husband. He could have easily kicked you to the curb and let you wallow. He didn't.

Yes, it is shameful what you did but there is also forgiveness with TRUE repentance. Threatening suicide is just more sin. Imagine the legacy that would leave for your children.

Become a woman of honor. Admit your sin, ask for forgiveness from your husband and children for being reckless with the gift of family. Stop trying to shift the blame.

And to those that now know? What a testimony if you turn your life around and restore your marriage to what God meant it to be.

What did you want him to do, do you ever think about what pain he was in when he found out what you were doing......he married you because he saw his life with you, sure no marriage is perfect but doing what you did was not the answer you did have other choices, no one forced you to make that choice......
he did not know what to do, he did what he thought would break the affair up and give himself a chance to save his marriage, he knew it would be tough but it is after and affair and the trust is broken........My husband said the same thing you are that he decided the marriage was over and that he was entitled to have an affair, well you know what you can't just rewrite our lives because it doesn't suit you anymore, you don't have the right to do that to someone else..........or your family..........
Right now you are in an affair fog where you actually believe you were justified......that somehow you had the right to disrespect him and hurt him like this, if you were unhappy the decent thing would have been to leave, not to hurt him with conscious and deliberate acts.........Why do that to a man you have spent your life with.......no one deserves that........
But you did, you made a mistake fix that now.......stop wallowing and crying about a choice you made.........it was your choice, if you stood behind it then why is it so hard to deal with now........
he wasn't doing anything to you, he was trying to save his marriage and his family........you were though in fact hurting him..........
If you are finished, just tell him that and move on........you are right no one can make you love anyone............
Your husband knows the marriage may not last and it does appear that it might be the outcome listening to you now.........
I think if you leave now will you be free from the embarrassment you caused in your life because it was there already before the exposure.........you just are refusing to see that part........honesty has to come into play now.........
I guess if you believe you should think and pray before you act that you yourself must have done that before acting on your affair.........I guess you do believe that it was right and that you were entitled, so if it's was right so be it.........you don't have to stay in the marriage.......if you can't deal with the backlash of that choice, just go and spend the rest of your life knowing that your husband ruined your marriage because he exposed and that you having your affair was just something that you needed and that is all that mattered.........
You had to have that in your life and that was worth it worth your marriage .....
I think you will be a fool if you don't take this chance and be accountable I think your life will suffer, how do you make it right...............do you justify for the rest of your life?

You have no empathy for your husband or your betrayal of your vows. You use God's name in vain as long as you blame him for following biblical principles of exposure when you refused to end your affair.

Until you have GODLY SORROW for YOUR behavior, you don't get why this needed to be exposed. You would still be sinning, willfully against God and your family. You embarrassed your children. Not him.

You are not as yet remorseful to the dust. You are just trying to do damage control. That means you are not sorry for hurting him; just sorry that you've been publicly shamed.

Kinda like the OW in my case when I called her on her emotional affair with my husband. No shame for what she did. Just rage for being called on it.

That's all I see you doing now is raging because you were called on it, when private requests didn't work to get you to stop, and it had to go public as per instructions in the Bible in the writings of Paul, NOW all of a sudden you've found God but you rage against your husband for shining light on your sleazy behavior...

You're not done cheating on him yet until your rage stops betraying him again and again and again.

He wasn't wrong to expose you. You are wrong to fight it. Let go of your pride and become humble and submissive as the God of the New Testament has directed you to become. Go and sin no more. You have lost your right to pride.

I dont buy that they never had sex, I seriously doubt she stopped at OM's house IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT to play footsie.. on 10/14-10/15...

sorry ... my BS meter has this pegged as a physical affair.

Hi alwayhopeful, I am so happy I gave you a reason to make your second post since you joined 10 days ago.

If you read her betrayed husbands story, shes been threatening it

Adultery is very much a clamant issue, it's not to be dealt with casually, there are a host of repercussions that can spread like wild fire due to the poor choices by those involved in the affair, end of discussion.
You need to seek help, b/c exposure did not cause this.

Case in point.

Just a couple months ago on another board a WW took her own life and left behind her children, there was zero exposure in that instance, her own choices, the OM, the affair drove her to that point where she felt the need to take her own life.

Don't do that, you will and can survive this and have a thriving marriage.

RMX no need to be ugly. Just because it says I joined 10 days ago doesn't mean anything. I don't have to defend myself nor my post because this is a public forum and I was pointing out what I interpreted her letter to say. Having said that thank you for your observations.

I think the affair fog is still clouding your rational thinking processes. If your BH was vindictive he would have exposed and left you to deal with the aftermath.

It seems you are angry about this whole exposure thing and now you want to take revenge but you don not know of who or what.

Sister, deal with this and except responsibility for you actions. You waste valuable energy on your own revenge, use this to mend your relationship with your husband instead, at least that will be more productive than this ranting.

Welcome to MB! don't worry ... you'll come to appreciate my awful sense of humor ... or dread it

I don't think you are understanding what I am saying...Be careful in your choice and think of the ramifications... When our pastor told us that he knew 2 people that committed suicide in this same situation it terrified me...God weighed heavy on me regarding this...I am simply stating...PRAY and PLEASE...PLEASE...remember she may not come back...EVER to anyone. And please don't tell me of my repentance that is between me and My GOD... God Bless you.

Did your pastor mention anything about betrayed spouses committing suicide after they found out?

Just wondering.

I had already ended the affair!

ME, ME, ME, MY, MY, MY, ME, ME, ME !!!!

Your husband is going through something worst than the death of a child and you are all about YOU !!!!

I really hope GOD speaks to you again becuase you didnt get it the first time.

RMX thanks for the welcome! I like you already!

MB does understand what you are saying... YOU don't understand what MB is saying. YOU came to a public place and bared your soul MB can tell you what it interpret your post to say because that is what you are asking for by coming here regardless if you get that now or not. MB teaches that the exposer is about the AFAIR not the person. The ACTIONS of the person not the person.

The affair never truely ended until the marriage has been repaired. That is why one of the MB principles is "no contact" for LIFE.

All it takes is a text message or a email and like a bastrop texas wildfire its full force again..

You've been here before, you know that to recover your marriage will require a serious change in extraordinary precautions.

Your not a evil person, but you have poor boundaries.

Please spare us the God talk. If God was such a huge presence in your life then you wouldn�t have committed adultery and would have known it was wrong all along and to not do it.

You are ticked off about exposure. YOU led your H down this path to this outcome. YOU. Not him.

Exposure has done what it is intended to do. It has brought out the affair into the open and out of secrecy.

Now, spare your H the pain of trickle truth and own up to the fact that this was a full on sexual affair.

We�ve been on this forum for far too long to deal with bull. We know it when we see it and you�re flinging it from everywhere.

You want to save your marriage? Then own up to your mistake, quit trying to argue against exposure (because we won�t buy it on this forum), and establish immediate no contact with OM for life.

Then apologize profusely to your BH, who actually mustered the courage needed to expose the affair, which is a very difficult thing to do.

Ashamed of being exposed? Then it�s a good lesson to learn for the next time you get temped with effing around on your H.

Focus on your mistakes. You cause all of this by having an affair. And please spare us the holier than thou God talk. You seriously have NO credibility on this.

Rather than lecture us on the need to have a Christian marriage, which I agree with, focus on how you need to be begging God and your H for forgiveness.

The devil didn�t make you do anything. YOU made the decision to take your clothes off for someone else.

So wake up and change your attitude. Telling us that exposure is wrong is not going to work since it is your affair that led to that.

Ok, if you really care about your husband at all. Please watch this video.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi1001_infidelity0.html

We've constantly told your husband that he cant educate a wayward.

So ...why would you listen to some strangers like us on the internet?

Wishful thinking on my part?