you can notify the mods to delete the other thread.

I don't want to blow recovery. I don't. I don't want this to end my marriage. I'm just trying to figure out what to do.

We are waiting for their answer....but I want to be prepared with a response if needed. He is going to call them today and inquire. Like I said he is out of vacation time, so either they let him go, he quits, or he goes back temporarily...by Monday.

I feel that his actions to leave that place prove that he is choosing to leave her. I'm only learning still but I understand any contact is a risk. Maybe I don't know the depth that's entirely possible.

I'm having a really hard time with all of this. I feel like we can recover. But how can we recover with no I insurance, money, car. I'd have to buy a car immediately because I need it for work...that would kill our savings even if I got a cheap one...and I drive hundreds of miles...I can't drive a $1000 car tha can't hold up...

Early on some people said for him to stay until he got another job.

I don't know I'm so confused and lost and freaked out

This is not ideal at all.

If he goes there temporarily....we can still work on things.

If we have no income...we go under. Whether our marriage makes it or not we are under.

I just wish they would call and let him work from home while he finds another job. That would be ideal.

people are probably not responding because your desire to send him back there is RIDICULOUS.

HE CAN NEVER SET FOOT IN THAT BUILDING AGAIN.

calm down and start making preparations. get out there this weekend and learn how to drive a stick shift. borrow a car, etc. you will not go under. you might be uncomfortable while you adjust to a new way of being but you will survive.

you seem to be completely losing your focus. be grateful that you have a chance to create a better marriage and family. do not dwell on what you think you might be losing here.

most of all, try to stay calm until you have more information. you asking if it's ok for him to return to the crack house is a HUGE waste of time to the people who are dedicated to helping people here.

i can't believe i had to register an account to tell you this.

the answer is NO AND NEVER to him returning to his current building. do not risk what you're fighting so hard to preserve and heal.

I'm not saying I want to. I'm just scared and wavering. That's all,

put the fear aside. do not let the fear run the show. you are bright. put that brain to work and have a little faith. when we do what's right, good things happen.

I don't "desire" to send him back. I'm sorry asking for help is such a waste of time.

I guess. Its just hard to know what's right when I'm so lost.

you know what's right. you are just putting financial concerns about the marriage. you don't even know what's going to happen yet!

there's a crazy POSOW in that building just waiting for her opportunity to destroy your marriage.

and yes, i think you do desire to send him back. otherwise you wouldn't even entertain this ridiculous notion for a second.

focus on calming the fear.

How?! How do I destroy the fear that we may have no health insurance the res of the year, no car, no money. We already barely scrape by

i'm almost twice as old as you and have been through many hard times. we've lived without insurance for years at a time. we are still here and still strong. you can do this.

one day at a time.

First off, you don't know what their decision will be so all this hysteria might be for nothing. And when you consider him staying at the current location, you need to keep in mind that that will lead to divorce. That is ok if you want that, but ask yourself if you will have any money or insurance if you are divorced? If you are divorced, you will each have to pay for your own homes.

Is the short term GAIN from staying at his job worth it?

No I guess not.

I'm just terrified of losing everything.

We never had health insurance when our boys were little and they got excellent health care. Most doctors and dentists take cash.

I will have no cash. I won't even have money to pay my mortgage. Well...I can pay mortgage OR bills. And I've already cancelled everything I can think t cancel...except tv Internet which I'm in a contract on and it was more to cancel than keep...but I lowered it

Then why would you even CONSIDER for 2 seconds allowing him to go back to work there? That doesn't make any sense.

By going back to work there, you lose your marriage, the income, the health insurance.

By leaving, you keep your marriage and at WORST, are short of money for a while and without health insurance.

Take your pick.

Even so, you don't know yet what the decision of the other location will be, so your concerns might be for nothing.

You need to quit putting money ahead of you marriage. Just like him, your priorities need to be marriage first.