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Hmm well I will keep an eye on that. The one I out on his phone sucks to.
My mom says she is going to out one on his car.
I know Neak. I know. I'm just to tired to fight him on it, maybe I'm a failure, who knows.
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I'm probably too late posting to this, but... Yes he should be doing more and groveling wouldn't hurt. It could be that he is depressed...maybe he should get to the doctor real quick while he still has insurance coverage. Be real careful that you communicate with him without disrespectful judgements or love busters. Keep your goal in mind, that is, saving your marriage and restoring love between the two of you. With that in mind, you need to talk to him, but not while you're angry. Maybe it's good that you had to work 15 hours, doesn't give you much time with him to GET mad at him.
It is very hard getting EN met when you have children so young, it takes setting aside the time for each other and making it priority. He needs to understand what you are going through and continue doing whatever he can to make you feel safe and secure...his going back to work even at different times is not going to allow you that feeling of safety. Until he's completely away from that work environment, your marriage isn't going to begin healing...he is getting triggered every day, just as you are. He doesn't need to see her to get triggered...his memories of her at his desk, her at the water cooler, etc. are enough to keep it stirred up. I would DEFINITELY set a time limit for this job...30 days at the most! It's time wasted and possibly futilely. It could cost you your marriage, are you sure it's worth it?
Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
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Not to late Kay
I tried to communicate in a non mean way. I tried to explain my feelings. That yes I get he might be upset or hurting...but so am I. And I did t bring these consequences on but I'm getting up and going...it isn't fair if he doesnt
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I just edited my post and I think it crossed with yours. It's no wonder you're tired, I feel your exhaustion, it's very hard on you right now, I hope to heavens you get the pay off you're hoping for eventually. And BTW, he owes you an apology on the tires remark!
Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
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No im sure it isn't worth it
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No im sure it isn't worth it If it doesn't bother you then, no, it's probably not worth it. If it's something that's going to bug you, then it's worth bringing up. If concealing your true thoughts from each other didn't work earlier, it won't work now.
Me (BH) FWW Married 2000, DS 8, DD 6, DD 2
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I'm not concealing for sure. I enevr have but I'm very open with that I'm not happy...but...I recognize that losing so much so fast might not be much better.
He must apply for 2 jobs per day. I don't even pray...but I'm praying now.
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I just wanted you to know that I've been following your thread all along. You are a very strong and intelligent young woman. Your understanding of things, at your age, is remarkable. I would be exhausted too, if I were you!
Also, I have been and and praying for you too. I know it sounds trite to some ppl, but I'm telling you, prayer works!!! You've got a Daddy up there that LOVES you and your family. He's on your side.
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Thank you
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I just wanted you to know that I've been following your thread all along. You are a very strong and intelligent young woman. Your understanding of things, at your age, is remarkable. I would be exhausted too, if I were you!
Also, I have been and and praying for you too. I know it sounds trite to some ppl, but I'm telling you, prayer works!!! You've got a Daddy up there that LOVES you and your family. He's on your side. Amen to that Romans 5:4-6 New Life Version (NLV) 4 When we have learned not to give up, it shows we have stood the test. When we have stood the test, it gives us hope. 5 Hope never makes us ashamed because the love of God has come into our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who was given to us. 6 We were weak and could not help ourselves. Then Christ came at the right time and gave His life for all sinners. Yeah Gods timing is allways right on.
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Confused:
You are really amazing! You've done so much in so little time that you deserve to take a deep breath or two and let that sink in.
You will feel conflicted about the path to recovery, because it's not easy. But it IS worth it.
Always take deep, cleansing breaths when you start to feel the panic set it. Write down what you've accomplished so far, which is no small potatoes: YOU KILLED AN AFFAIR. Some people take years to kill affairs. You did it in, what, two days?
And you've pulled your marriage from the burning wreckage. You did that. You're the hero here, and you can continue to march your way out of the disaster.
Stay strong! Sweetpea
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Ok. I'm really freaking out.
Last weds she posted on fb "mornings are so icky these days"
Then Monday "is no friend to caffeine less mornings" to which someone told her to get sbux to which she said "my dr asked me to cut back my coffee intake"
And then today at 1030am "ugh vomit is icky"
I'm freaking. Freaking out.
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Don't let her get to you. What is posted on FB does not have to be true. She is probably really desperate for your H. Until there is a DNA test, nothing is the matter. Block her, so she doesn't see you and you don't see her. Don't let her play games with your head!
Me BW (37) WH (37) DD1 6 yrs DD2 2 yr
A man who abandons his wife and children because of his infidelity is no price. I can do better then that, I deserve better then that.
The difficulties and struggles of today are but the price we must pay for the accomplishments and victories of tomorrow
Men must be honest with themselves before they can be honest with others. A man who is not honest with himself presents a hopeless case
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It's clear that she knows you're reading her page. Block her and stop reading it. She's playing with you.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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And then today at 1030am "ugh vomit is icky" I mean come on. Really? Who would post something like that on their FB page. This is obviously done to freak YOU out. OW has shown herself to be a mean vindictive bully from the very beginning. She knows exactly how to get you worked up and this is her strategy. Ignore her.
ME: BW HIM: FWH Married 18 yrs DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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Yea and I just had to spend $555 on new tires on his car. Since you know...they where slashed
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And then today at 1030am "ugh vomit is icky" I think that this might also be an attempt to put fear in your WH and get him to break down and contact her. She is very good at keeping herself in your minds. NC goes for both of you. Focus on recovery. You are doing great. It will get better.
Last edited by pokerface; 10/28/11 02:59 PM. Reason: add quote
ME: BW HIM: FWH Married 18 yrs DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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$555 bucks??? Holy mackeral! What are those tires made of??? Yikes!
I thought you said they weren't slashed? Wasn't it just one tire?
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Two tires. And the other two where worn badly they said.
And they where used tires! I called around...best price I found in the city. Which I had to do bc I only had enough air in 2 to get close...I had to stop and refill.
We thought someone just let the air out but the slash got bigger when he drove <.<
The tire place wrote slash in the report so I could include that to the police
Also I got insurance (16 a tire) just in case it recurrs
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It's clear that she knows you're reading her page. Block her and stop reading it. She's playing with you. Yup, and remember, she has nothing and you are married to H, and she has been playing the barnyard tramp. Really, do you think this is above her tactics? As soon as your H gets it in his head, that he has been duped into the "no strings sex" fantasy, he will also get control over his sexual urges. What is a man without control over his own spirit? Proverbs 25:27-28 King James Version (KJV) 27 It is not good to eat much honey: so for men to search their own glory is not glory. 28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. Wh has to grow up and this is part of the process. Is there any way to prove she slashed his tires? Does HR know about this? Maybe you can get her azz fired
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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