Your fighting so that's what happens

It's like the town bully, they put on a show but are really cowards

Eventually they will move onto easier victims

They are scavengers and bottom feeders

Don't worry it's all show

As far as H is concerned he should be embarrassed so expect him to sulk

CP,

Great advice.... Can you check my post?

I need help quick.

Sorry to hijack your post confused.

No worries everyone deserves help. Maybe one day I van give it

Wh (how long is he wh for?) offered to take the kids to his moms w him Friday-sat or third-sat so I could have some alone time to just be alone.

My mom had offered to take this kids all week and this was wh response to that.

I guess that'd be nice. I can't sleep in Saturday bc I have marathon training but I can just rest I guess.

I'm so worn down and tired it feels endless. I don't know how I feel in 5 minutes let alone make any decisions on stuff. I have an atty appt for a post nup consultation today and I haven't even prepped docs. Maybe I should delay it. Bit I shouldn't put it off.

Trick or treating was pleasant at least. I'm finding alone time hard bc I don't know what to talk about w him. I look at him and am hurt and it fogs my brain. He tries to kiss me or smash all up against me and I feel tense and irritated. "do you ever want anything else?" comes in my head.

I know sex and kissing and whatever is his #1 emotional need but I feel disgusting kissing him or having him press up against me. I don't know how to handle this

So good and bad at the attorney � but I left at least feeling pretty good about myself. I guess that is weird.

He started with all the background of the affair � he let me know this was not for legal purposes, but was for his own information so he could advise me whether I should get a divorce or not. I thought that was interesting, and kind of nice. So he started asking me if I love my husband, if I am prepared to forgive him for everything up to this point, how my sex life is, if I feel trapped etc. I said I do love him (unfortunately), I am prepared to try but I don�t have an answer to if it�s possible yet, the sex well I haven�t been with anyone else past 16 so it�s the best I�ve had but who knows, and do I feel trapped�part yes and part no. Could I leave? Yes. Would I lose almost everything? Yes.

He said out of 4,000 cases like mine, he would say about 3 survive in the long term, and by long term he means 7-10 years. He says the way it will survive is if we have a good sex life, and if my husband has a strong relationship with our kids, and I have a strong drive to hold a family together. He said if I where his sister, and I said the sex is good and I enjoy spending time with him, he would say stay. He says if some guy on the metrolink tickles your fancy, leave.

I told him my goal is to protect myself in the event we can�t reconcile. So we went through all the post nup stuff. I had a list of things I might like to see in the agreement, of they where legally plausible, so we went through that. The fact that�my state�is a no fault state is against me. There is no penalty for him having caused this, and if it where in the post nup, would be thrown out in court. He says because I make more than 80% of what *edit* makes, I will likely get 0 spousal support, and if so it�d be for under 2 years at this time. He says my child support cannot be put in the post nup because it is just a formula, nothing makes it weighted. Its based on the percentage each person has the kids, and each persons income, and how many kids one has. He said the only beneficial things I brought up for the post nup would be things like belongings, but that in the event of divorce without prenup they�d be split pretty much 50/50 anyway. He says even without a prenup he could make�wh split the cost of his guns and car with me, but then Id have to do to the same with furniture etc. He said one thing that would be good would be to put his life insurance policy must always have X dollars for me and the kids, and that I would be the trust of the kids $. That if we get divorced later he can say no I want my new wife to be trustee. And the other thing that could go in is limiting either of us to move more than x miles away. Anyway, he said because we don�t have a lot of assets or belongings, and virtually no pre-marriage items, that a post up would be a waste of money, as much as he would love to sell me one.
�
He was really impressed with my questions and my research and kept telling me I was really clever. He said that if�wh is a man that seeks out women to prey on, this will occur again and again untilI am fed up. If�wh was partial to a circumstance, then I have a shot at this working.
�
He also said if skankchel is pregnant, she gets no more money if he stays married to me than if he where single, etc. So my MIL's theory on me needing to divorce on paper etc is a moot point. He told me I have dont everything right up until here and he is really proud. He also said if I hire him, he will not repair my marraige, only make it worse, because thats his job. He is on my side 100% financially and emotionally.
�
He said as far as the house goes, it would be better for me to keep it and lose it then give it to him. If I give it to him he can make a case that he has a better living situation and therefore should get the kids. If I keep it, he says I let ir foreclose and save all the money I would pay on mortgage payments, and live there the year or two it takes them to take the house. He said that if I think that will ruin my credit, to bad, because the divorce will already have done that.
�
Now of course I can't remember all whatever else I typed/
�
He said I should have been able to get my restraining order and if I get even a tiny shred of evidence again I should go back. He also said not to worry because a TRO wont stop crazy, so if someone is crazy enough to do something, that wouldnt stop them anyway. He also said he would defer to my therapist whether or not�wh is worth staying or fighting for and says I should take her advice after she meets him.
�
Now I cant remember the rest.
�
When I left he stopped me to tell me what a smart intelligent woman I was. He also said if I truly think this would be an amicable divorce, to bring a pre written agreement to him next time I come, and if after he speaks to�wh he agrees it will be smooth, he would lower my retainer and do it for me all the paperwork etc. He was SUPER DUPER nice and sweet.
�
So, I left his office with him telling me I should stay, at least for now. And how smart and prepared I was, and how I have done the right things and all that. So, at least I had something to feel good about.
�
I also told him about how worried I am that people think I am stupid or pathetic when I pride myself on smart and strong and he said "if people think that, they will get theirs and step in their own [censored]"

Texas: You didn't cause the breakup of the friendship, SHE did by her actions!

Confused: You don't need anyone to tell you you're smart and wonderful, you ARE! And you have done the right things! WH should be groveling and begging your forgiveness and trying to make it up to you. Unfortunately, that's not always how they respond because they're either still in a fog or they're embarrassed.

Anything new on the job horizon?

No but he's applying for at least 2 a day

I find this really inappropriate.
I don't think your attorney should be dwelling on your sex life. And I doubt he's seen much success in marriage, because he is afterall, a DIVORCE ATTORNEY. So I really doubt his statistics, and it strikes me that he doesn't have a clue about marriage. I find it appalling that he suggests you bail on your marriage if someone "tickles your fancy". Marriage is that disposable, huh?

ITA with Lexxxy. confused, I think this attorney was very inappropriate. First of all, he's a divorce attorney. He's about the last guy I would be taking marital advice from. He makes his living when marriages fail, not when they succeed.

Next, I'd love to see where he gets his statistics. 3 out of 4,000? Huh? Where did he get that?

Lowering his retainer for you when you're ready to file?? After advising you to stay with your WH and using SF as a determining factor in that advice???

Look at the last two sentences I just typed. These two things do NOT go together.

Telling you what a smart, intelligent woman you are? Totally inappropriate, IMO.

This guy doesn't sound nice. He sounds like he's trolling for business.

Sounds like he is trolling for an affair... but some poor woman has fallen for it before.

I know! I read somewhere that it is easy for clients to have affairs with their divorce lawyers! yuck!

Ew! Well he's like 40 years older than me and fat. So yea no.

Besides, I have been shutting down old high school friends who are coming out of the woodwork trying to (excuse my French) get me to "use my free d*ck card". Um thanks but no thanks leave me alone. The end. And while they are at active men...their disgusting for such behavior.

So my friends suggested I need some alone time. Wh offered to go w the kids and stay at his moms fri-sat. my mom says send the kids not Wh bc it's counter productive to rebuilding.

Mb thoughts?

Also did someone have a list of ua activities? I can't find

Your mom has the right idea.

I thought about getting us a couples massage. You can pay 50 extra and get time in a mud grotto and spa and stuff, then a massage in a special room and then 30 m extra in the room w dessert and 3 shower heads and stuff for about 300 total...but that's a lot. Especially after those tires :-/

We are throwin a 21 party for sil saturday. We where going to go to dinner then coe back. Try to think of some ua things we could do in our room, while we can supervise the party but have time alone

You've got the right idea. Almost everything you do is an opportunity for each of you to make some $LB deposits.

The spa thingy sounds LUSCIOUS, but if you're worried about the cost, come up with the cheaper home version. Go to Wal Mart, or better yet Bath and Body works, spend $20 or so on good smelling massage stuff, and make your own spa at home.

If it's just the two of you, I wonder how you're going to come up with a masseuse???

I had the same impression of the attorney...I'd get another one if needed.

Sounds like a great idea for this weekend, I hope you have fun!

We are both staying home from
Work today

My head is killing me and he called in to stay

I hope you get to feeling better, you have this weekend to enjoy! Your kids will be gone, right?

you've got to get your husband out of that job/workplace.

getting a massage together to undo the stress of him having to continue working where his crazy POSOW lies in wait for him is INSANE.

get him out of there.