I'm trying...

I just wIsh shed go away!

That would be convenient, but you know you can't count on an OW to just fade to black. Darnit.

What is going on with the job?

Stupid nothing with the job.

He's applying places. A friend of ours works for a place (should I not say on here?) and he makes like 20k per year more than Wh, and is trying to get him an interview.

Open enrollment for insurance is this week at my work and Im so stressed. It's 650/mo to add my family to my work insurance. I can't afford that....

It's really frustrating. This whole thing is so frustrating. I feel like I'm losing it. I'm anxious, jittery, keep getting tight in my chest, my mood changes I'm seconds. It just sucks. We had a nice weekend together....I even went all day sat and sun without crying until late last night...

I just feel like a nutcase. Like there is no end. I'm constantly on edge wait g for something bad to happen. Another lie, her attacking, whatever.

He has to to on a work trip 14-21 and I'm so afraid...what if she attacks my house?!

I wish she would do something traceable besides hang ups on my phones and her friends sending me hate fb messages.

He needs to QUIT THAT JOB. Re-read the rest of your post to confirm that in your own mind. This is wreaking havoc on your mental state and may well destroy your marriage.

Why are you not going or he is not going?

ask your lawyer to write her a cease and desist letter if she is continuing to harrass you both. we did that for OW? she was constantly texting him ( though it was all blocked it still triggered me - she was also searching me out on classmates and peoplefinder..)

A cease and desist is an order or request to halt an activity (cease) and not to take it up again later (desist) or else face legal action

Im not getting anything g directly from her. And the hang ups are all blocked numbers. Otherwise I would just march back down and get a tro.

I know he has to quit. But he can't right now. We'll never make it. I know it's screwing with me. I know it's retriggering me. I know it's putting our marriage at risk. But who is going to pay my mortgage? Or put food on my table? And forget therapy because we wont have insurance. Forget a lawyer if I need him bc I'll be on the streets.

I know your going to tell me I'm choosing money over my marriage. I'm not. I know the job has to go. But I can't responsibly force him to quit when we'd very realistically lose everything anyway...I'm already having a hard time forgiving him for this...how can I continue to forgive him when I can't pay daycare or mortgage or feed my kids?

The job market is practically 0 here...he's applying and applying and following up. His best shot is to get a job at his offices other office in Torrance...he's applying to new jobs daily...but if he leaves his current place that shot goes out the window to.

I want to go but I can't afford the time off. I can go for part...would that matter?

He has 2 trips one the week before thanksgiving and one the week after be couldnt get out of. I know the coworker he is going w to each (male).

On another note....Wh (when is he just h?...never I guess) told me he loved me yesterday. I said love you to he made me get up. He got down on his knee and said "will you please stay ,married to me?"

We had a good weekend together. Who knows why Im so depressed today. I hate feeling so [censored]. I'm jittery ad shaky and jumpy and tight chested constantly.

Okay, I'm all done here. Good luck.

Confused. Have you called the phone provider about this? They should be able to advise you. Also talk to your lawyer.

When I googled hang up phone calls, I found that you should document all calls and report to the police.

I can help with MB plans.

I have no way to help with Plan Confused. It's your life, and you are making your own choices. You are free to do so. Unfortunately, I already know how those sorts of choices usually work out.

I wish you the best.

I'd suggest relocation then.

I know exactly why you are crying, jittery, and upset.

But remember you CHOSE this. He's back at work protecting all those assets.

This is something you're going to have to deal with until he's out of there. So YOU are responsible for coming up with a plan to control YOUR outbursts and emotions.

* * * * *

Picture this:

Put the house on the market - look for a new one on the opposite distance from YOUR work location. Or rent an apartment for a year. (get OVER the house - its truly JUST A HOUSE)
Let him QUIT and be a stay-at-home dad while he looks for work. (cuts down on the daycare right?)
Make BIG changes. They are do-able, and will ensure the salvation of your marriage and sanity.

Your plan will not work for long. You're already "losing it"...

Do you see what is happening here?

What are your prioritys?

If one of your kids was sick, or if one of you had an illness that was fatal, do you think that money could fix it?

I would not br letting him go out of town on a trip by himself, no way, no how, not at this point

Yes you were fooled into believing financial things are success, how's that working for ya?

You aren't the first, we are here to help, not accomidate that fallacy

I know.

I talked to our realtor about putting the house on the market. We are upside down almost 100k. So there is no way for me to sell it, I'm looking into renting it out, so maybe we could keep it and move but the apartments I have found so far are only about $200 less than my mortgage, even if we go down to a 2 bedroom.

I figured out th money already, if he quits his job, we save about 760 a month in day care, but add 350 a month to cover insurance JuSt for my kids. Not us. So we'd save about 410. Maybe a little gas.

He will not move out of this county. It's a mssive county but we are in the lowest cost area that is safe. The next city over would save us some money on rent, but it would increase our gas, and my kids will not go to school in. That district. And the crime is awful there.

I'm trying to do my best here. I really don't see how it's effective or supportive to turn your back on someone whose come here for support. I already said I'm not trying to buck the system, but how will putting us out on the streets solve our marital problems?! No insurance means no therapy. No job means no money. My pay is enough to cover our mortgage (or if we lost the house, rent) and about another 800 a month. Which won't get us far. I already called wic and welfare and we are just barely above qualifying with a family of 4.

My moms trying to help but is defaulted on her mortgage (great which she just told me). My mil already has my bil and sil living w the. Because she can't afford her mortgage.

My grandma has no money. I've spent a huge chunk of savings on all this stupid spyware. One of our cc are already maxed out.

Im tryin really hard to do the best thing. But I'm not going to put my kids out on the streets....that's irresponsible.

Im trying. I didn't know part of mb was chastising people for trying. I don't know what else I can do.

Oh and I called my provider and paid 99cents to block unknown numbers. Thank you for that advice.

As for the attorney....I used m free consult. Additional advise is 42.50 for every 10 minutes.

I dont think finances equal success obviously. But how will I have anything to repair my marriage if we have no money.

If I take time off to go on this trip, I could lose MY job. Gee wouldn't that epe fantastic. I can't even afford to take a stress leave.

Im not asking anyoe to accommodate a fallacy. At all. I'm just trying to do the best with what I can.

I don't even know if I know what my priorities are. But just abandoning me when I'm tryi g to sort through my life is not helpful.

My marriage is a priority..but my kids well being are equally important. And I don't see how puttig us all out on the street will be healthy for them either. The family therapist said that my 5 year old is already in a delicate state. Shes already overly sensitive and upset. "oh honey, btw we have no where to live" I'm sure thatd help.

I'm not saying it's good he's at the job. I know what it's doing to me. But I also think id feel the same either way. Even if he wasn't there. Because this is TWICE. I can't trust him either way.

The job isnt the only problem here

I don't want to fight. I'm just upset and worn down and trying. And it doesn't help to just be dismissed and talked down to like I'm some idiot. Yu said yourself many people don't even do as much as I did so fast. And now I'm just being disregarding and cast aside.

He's gone mon-sun. I could go fri-sun but I dunno if that'd help.