I've heard others say Dr. H recommends remaining unmarried until the children are grown after a divorce. I imagine it is because of these issues, of the parent wanting to put the children first and how that takes a toll on the other spouse and the marriage.

I imagine you are right.

I appreciate all of your input. Thanks so much. Your objective perspectives are very helpful and helped me sort through some feelings. Also NG and I have reexamined our approach to dating a little and will be trying to step back a little and just enjoy the process. We're not married yet, not engaged yet; and while we may wish to be with each other all the time, we possibly have a lifetime of that to look forward to, so we feel maybe we've been taking things a little too serious.

As for the trip, NG came to the revalation that she was reacting to the idea with a little more negative emotion based on some of her own insecurities and "selfishness." She is actually now excited about the idea of me going with DS15 and while it would also be fun for all of us to go, she understands the circumstances. She's sincerely enthusiastic.

Also, as for her apprehension that this type of thing would become a habit or commonplace (me leaving her home), the anxiety was borne out of my parents situation and our discussions of it: my Dad travels a fair amount and Mom doesn't go very often. I've said I wouldn't want that and couldn't imagine taking a trip without NG (it wouldn't be fun for me). So, this situation hit a little close to that scenario for NG and we talked about the differences.

The radio show has been great for us. We both listen during work (we both drive a lot); sometimes we listen together after work. NG truly wants a MB relationship and we discuss concepts a lot. We plan to submit a letter written together about applying certain concepts to dating/engagement -- just to clarify some of the above. Also I think there is an MB book on the topic.

Thanks again everyone!

opt