It is completely normal for the OM to lie about the status with his wife. It's much easier to dupe the WW into believing that his marriage is horrible than it is to tell her, "Look, I'm married and want to be with my wife but you'll be my f**k buddy as long as it is convenient for me."

That's the reality.

That's why he'll run in the other direction if this affair is exposed and you'll end this affair, but for some reason you won't act. Why?

I still haven't found the OMW information. The address I found was on the internet and there is no guarantee that it's the right woman and I have no pictures to verify who she is.

If my WW had a relationship with either of her parents or even spoke to them, I would contact them. Her circle is very small and I contacted the people she is close to. No one in her circle is willing to help contact her and ask her to work on the marriage. One of the members here would have a better chance of calling her than the people I spoke of. And they all say that she had the affair because she was unhappy and to take a look at myself to see what part I played in driving her away.

I would make this happen TODAY. Get the OM's address and drive over there. Stop putting this off, GJ.


You should contact them regardless of the current state of their relationship. They can be of great help by contacting her. As her parents, they have influence over her. Likely no one can get through to her, but you should not leave a single stone unturned.

You owe it to your boys.

Her circle is very small...No one in her circle is willing to help contact her...

Two things strike me from this

1 - These apathetic scuzz-balls do not have to actively campaign for your wife to straighten up to be allies in your fight. Just keep telling them the immature and destructive things WW is doing. DISGUST THEM with her infidelities! Keep reminding the ladies that WW is boning ANOTHER WOMAN'S HUSBAND! ("If she'll do that to her husband, maybe....")

2 - This reinforces that the affair is still active. With such a small cadre of support, what are the odds that WW's long-term plan is to reside in a 1 BR apt, in an entry level job, forever? Nope, she's still dreaming of being the next Mrs. POSOM!

Fight dirty, my friend!

GJM,

MY W has been estranged from her family for years...I still regret not exposing to them.

Her "circle" was small -- an aunt, an uncle, OUR CHILDREN, a few coworkers.

Exposed to OMs family, employers (had NO info on friends, no FB, etc.)

I still think this was a 'limited' exposure...yet, it still killed the affair.

Expose.

GJM,

$100 to a PI will get you every last bit of information you want on the OM.

Stop making excuses. Start acting. Take action!

I received an email from her step sister saying that she supports my WW because she would rather see her happy divorced than unhappy in a marriage and I've had 13 years to work it out and it just didn't work. She also said to not involve the kids because she was involved in her parents divorce and it made it that much more painful for her because she was dealing with her own emotions of being a teenager.

Then I received a text from WW saying to stop involving her friends and family and that I was doing more damage than good. That I was also pushing her away further. I found a guy in admin to look up information for me so I can contact POSOMW. He said I should have it this afternoon.

GJM, when will you finish the exposures? And when will you be exposing to your children?

I am sorry the step sister is retarded and doesnt care about your wife but that is ok. You will get those kinds of reactions.


Good man!! I would plan on exposing the affair to your kids too. GEt that done so they understand what is happening.

Totally agree with Mel here!

GJM,

She might try to get to your kids before you do. Expose ASAP before she tells them, "Your father has gone nuts. He thinks I'm having an affair and might come to you telling you so. It's a lie and he's just controlling and jealous."

Call them!

Her family might be a lost cause. Expose anyway.

I'm hoping to finish exposure tonight. I know she will try to keep the kids and since I don't have a court order, she would be within the law. Right?

I did, but you're right. Lost cause.

Keep one thing firmly in mind, GJM: the goal of exposure is NOT to educate anyone or to accept criticism from them. It is intended to target anyone who can be instrumental in helping you influence WW to end her affair. Obviously her step-sister is ignorant in what it takes to end affairs, and that's okay. It wasn't your mission to educate her, just to expose the A to her.

Her ignorance is doubly obvious by her comment about not involving the kids. They are already involved because they're your kids! This is their mother! More than anyone else, they have the right to know what is happening in their family's life! 'Don't tell the kids'...that always kills me, it's so idiotic. The chance is good that one of step-sister's parents was involved in an affair and they kept it a secret from her. Maybe her emotions wouldn't have been so 'painful' if she had known what was really going on in her life.

Let us know right away when you've exposed to OMW. Good job figuring out how to find her!

There's nothing illegal about her having her own children with her. And the same goes for you.

Where are they now? You should get them home with you and expose the A before she has a chance to spin this. She's got relatives who have likely told her that you are exposing the A. You'll want to talk to the kids before she does.

Chop-chop on calling OMW, too. If your WW figures out what you're doing, she'll call OM and warn him. He'll have time to spin the A to his wife, as well.

You would be within the law to keep the kids and since she doesn't have a court order you would be within the law. I would keep the boys and only let her have day visits.

Do you have a PLAN to visit wtih the OMW?

HER PARENTS!! One retarded step sister does not make a lost cause. You haven't exposed to her family.

One of the dirty tricks women play is that they take the kids to another state and then file diovorce papers there, forcing the man to fight a long distance custody battle. This is why it is important to have your legal ducks ready just in case.

If she does such a thing, file an emergency order.

1. the OMW

2. her parents

3. your children

4. the OM's commander

Yes I plan to visit the OMW. The kids are in school right now. I take them and she picks them up.