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My only fear is that she is going to run with the kids. Where would she run to? Supposedly he only went over there to take her text messages that the OMW and I were sending back and forth, but we all know that's not true. Right ...... OMG! I don't know what to do now. Secure your children and your finances. Put a small GPS inside their school backpacks .... or in some object you know they always have on them. Also, TALK to your kids today. Tell them that you will always be there for them.
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Do OM's parents know?
Uhh, refresh my memory here, GJM. He had basically been given a "stand down" order from his superiors regarding contacting your WW, right? So he was, in effect, in direct violation of a lawful order from the Marine Corps?
If this is true, I would respectfully suggest that whether Mommy and Daddy are aware of his current plight is not going to be his major concern right now!
For what it's worth, dude, I think you handled this about as strongly and professionally as could be imagined. Documenting the situation, summoning support, and not getting involved in a hissy-fit, which always plays out to the woman's advantage, is IDEAL behavior.
Now to your reaction. Chill. Seriously: Chill! What could she have done today that you were not completely sure she had done in the past? That she is a skank-slut is NOT news, GJM. That she is untrustworthy and lacking common morals is not a shock to us, and certainly not to you. The woman you loved at one time, married, conceived and had children with is DEAD. That's the reality you must move forward with. Proceed with Plan D (adding this little "afternoon delight" to the reasons she should NOT have the kids), and shed WW like the used tissue she has become.
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I was informed that I am not to have contact with OMW anymore. I will not be able to answer who knows on her end. I now have to write a statement about the events that have taken place. They have assigned an investigating officer (IO) and want my statment ASAP.
Plan D isn't what I wanted to do. So disheartening.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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If this is true, I would respectfully suggest that whether Mommy and Daddy are aware of his current plight is not going to be his major concern right now! That's now what I was suggesting to GJM, NG. I was just checking to make sure no exposure rocks have been left unturned. Sometimes the WS knowing that the OP's parents/friends & family all KNOW about the A and will NEVER accept him/her helps break through the fog. We have even had OP's parents confront the WS and really help put pressure to end the A, which is what GJM wants. It can't hurt. BTW, GJM, I see that you used the term "broke contact" with OMW. It's OK for you to keep in touch regarding any contact you are aware of. Just in case you didn't know. Hang in there! You are doing a good job...
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Because I am subject to military discipline, I was issued a no contact order on me to not talk to the OMW.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Hmmm, I wonder if there is a way around this such as a third party that could pass messages only for purposes of letting each other know if you discover NC has been broken.
GJM, hang in there. This is going to be a major blow to the affair.
Have you started thinking about when you are going to move into Plan B?
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It's always part of Plan A to plan for Plan B. Prepare so you will be ready, WHEN you need it. I don't see today as that need.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I would like to keep plan A in place, but she said she didn't want me and she can see whoever she wants because it's over. Found out that she's been telling her co-workers that I'm the one that's been cheating and forced her to move out into a 1 Br apt. At this moment I'm frozen.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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The no contact order states that I cannot even use a third party.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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She has been lying to coworkers and friends. Ha! The truth is the truth whomever happens to believe it.
Stay calm though you feel all afluster.
Don't feel compelled to know the future this moment, today, this week, this month, the next few months.
Detach from needing to have control and to know the situation. WW may make proclamations that she and you are over as loud as she wants but it doesn't mean she won't change her mind down the road.
Show her a decent, truthful man who is a wonderful father to her children who is fit and funny and smells good. K?
Don't get into her drama of the marriage being this or that. You are what you are. Her husband. Know that you are this no matter her thoughts on it today.
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GJM,
Plan D isn't what I wanted to do. So disheartening.
But even less so was plan doormat which if you accepted her back on her terms you were headed for. To suffer a third and then fourth affair and etc.
God Bless Gamma
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OMW just let me know she was chasing ww in the car. This is crazy.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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OM was relocated to another duty station as well. It's only 30 miles away, but that's better than where he was before.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Thanks! I need a lot of prayers!
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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Found out that she's been telling her co-workers that I'm the one that's been cheating and forced her to move out into a 1 Br apt. This highlights one of the reasons why exposure is such a good idea. Cuts off most opportunities for WS to engage in deceit like this.
ManInMotion =========== (see "MiM's Story" for more details)
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OMW just let me know she was chasing ww in the car. This is crazy. What's her plan when she catches her, did she say?
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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I am writing you this message because you are an important person in the lives of xxx and I. As some of you know, xxxx has recently asked me for a separation, which has shattered my heart. To my shock, I am saddened to have discovered that the reason is because she has been carrying on an affair with a boyfriend named xxx who works near her gym. He is also married and has 5 children . The purpose of the separation is so that she can carry on her affair without my interference. I first discovered the affair on Sept 22 and have been trying to work things out. She said that he wasn't in the picture anymore, but it's been going on since July.
She refuses to end the affair. I want our marriage to recover from this affair. If you have any influence on her, please do what you can to get her to stop this dangerous affair. I want to stay married, but the affair must end. Today I caught him in her apartment and found out that she's been telling people that I was the one cheating and kicked her out. This is not the case. I asked her not to move, but supported her during this whole process.
As our friends and family, I am asking that you use your influence withxxxx to persuade her to end her affair and try to work on our marriage. Our marriage can be salvaged if she would only end the affair. Please support her in doing the right thing. Please support our marriage.
I would so appreciate your support and prayers.
Warmest regards,
xxxx
Last edited by GJM; 11/29/11 08:33 PM.
Me: BH 36 Her: WW 34 Kids: D 14, S 12, S 9 DDay 1-6/2009 DDay 2-9/2011 DDay 3-11/2011 Filed for D 10/2011-Papers Served 11/2011 Divorce final May 24, 2012 My Story
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