I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.

On a side note, I got my butt up and went for a run. I stopped and did some pull ups and ran back. Felt pretty good. It's been a couple of months since I've exercised. I ate breakfast and lunch and should be eating dinner soon. It's a start.

Does Plan A include being invited over to her place for dinner? I went and had dinner with my WW and talked about our days. When I left, I gave her a hug. I hope I didn't mess this up.

Absolutely.

Plan A is about being the bestest guy a girl could want....even a wayward girl. You are to be your most charming, hot self. The one she fell for originally or even better.

Yes, you need the stick too (exposure, not financing the affair, not participating in her fantasy of having a spouse and boyfriend or boyfriend and best friend ex spouse).

I was not a big fan of Zoloft. It eliminated my libido and was ho hum for my mood.

Pristiq is a good alternative and it worked great for me, but it elevated my blood pressure so I had to get off of it.

Wellbutrin worked ok and didn�t have the libido or bp side effects. In fact, my dad (who is a doctor) says that Wellbutrin enhances orgasms (in women anyways).

I finally just gave up on AD�s.

What you have is called adjustment disorder. It is self resolving. AD�s are a little over hyped for adjustment disorder since your problem isn�t a chemical one, it�s situational.

Here is a wonderful statement Dr. H made earlier this year to someone which talks about their use (top reply of the page):
http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2492206&page=3

Yeah, I'm torn on the use of ADs. I was in such a state when I was going through snooping and exposure that I couldn't eat or sleep. It was horrible. That lasted about a month and then things calmed down a bit. I started taking Cymbalta and stopped exercising and I'v never (2 1/2 years later) got back into my exercise routine. I wish I had never stopped exercising....I think it could have helped me through the worst of it.

And sleep aid of some kind might have helped....

That was my experience as well, but it's worth a shot I suppose.

There are many choices of AD on the market. They can effect people differently as far as side effects go. Newer drugs are not always better. Some of the older SSRI's maybe the ticket. Just realize that most AD may take a couple weeks to work, and it may require a dosage adjustment or therapy change. Talk to your doctor or local pharmacist (I am a pharmacist by the way) about the choices that are available to you if you do decide to take an AD.

When your situation isn't going to be changing any time soon, ADs can most definitely help.

Remember that AD's require six weeks to take effect, and it is a fine science. It is not a "hit or miss" thing, a good doctor will supervise you, increase, decrease or add to your medications.

Medications, like excercise, healthy eating and getting enough rest are all parts of the whole healing process. Things like reading, yoga and meditation can help, too.
(I know I have fewer AO's and LB's when I practice the above.)

EXACTLY, you would use the ADs in conjunction with other ways to beat stress.

Adjustment disorder is a good way to put it. I'm trying to get used to being alone, not having intamacy, not seeing my WW as often, not having the kids around as much, dealing with finances and other things that we've always done as a family. It's hard. Then on top of that, I'm Plan A'ing my butt off. I'm filling her tank while mine is on empty. Having a relationship with God is essential so that I can ask him to fill that void for me. I have to believe that doing what's right and being a good person will pay off in time. It's not the WW that can reward me for my goodness, but God will when the time is right. I pray that he will impose his will on my marriage. I pray for strength and good judgement and peace. It's a slow process, but each day I make it through, I thank him for getting me through it.

It's not just about how you are coping, but sometimes BSs come here and are so distraught/emotional that they seem unable to follow the plan.

This is what Dr Harley says about use of AD's in Plan A/B:


LINK

Well I just discovered/exposed that the affair was still ongoing. The OMW called me because she couldn't locate him so I drove to his work. No car. I drove to the gym. No car. I went to WW apt and bingo. I knocked on the door, took pics of his car, called my command and waited outside. WW denied anyone was inside so I said I would wait there until she left so I could get the key. She then said why because it's over. Then she admitted that somone was in there, but it didn't matter because we're not together. She said he was a civilian. Then she was angry and started cussing me out. I stayed calm and waited it out. Right when two other Marines showed up, the OM came out and we all saw him. Now his career is done (hopefully they don't sweep it under the rug). I've been telling these people to keep him away, but they acted too slowly. My only fear is that she is going to run with the kids.

Supposedly he only went over there to take her text messages that the OMW and I were sending back and forth, but we all know that's not true. OMG! I don't know what to do now.

Ongoing contact means active affair so Plan A is called for. BOTH the carrot AND the stick. You CAN do this. You WILL do this.

Put pressure on this affair. Bust this up. You have done very well.

You have told OMW about this, right? Has she ever confronted your WW? It would be good if she did.

Have you yet exposed OM on FB?

Do you know if OMW exposed to OM's folks? If she did, does your WW know this?

OM doesn't have FB.

OMW has confronted WW about it. OMW broke contact with me this afternoon. This thing is sky high right now. I am shaking.

This is great!

Always refer to OM as "Jane's husband" .... never by his first name.