I am aware of the little bits, I know she will likely come out with more. Honestly, I don't think it will change my decision, but I will not go on if she fails the test, as that would tell me she will never tell the truth, that is unacceptable IMO. It doesn't matter what else they did, it is done. Honesty is what I am looking for now. I do not believe there is or was any other men, but that could be a deal breaker.

As for a plan to get out of my job with OM. I have been thinking I may have to find another job. Hard, as it pays very well, and good paying jobs are a bit hard to find in this area, I actually drive an hour each way to work. OM has been working on getting a road job in the same company, which means I would see him on occasion, I might be able to live with that.

If you implement these principles into your life, which *IS* the definition of recovery, you don't have to read the book again, SEM. Recovery means changing your lifestyle radically; making permanent changes to prevent another affair.

Might be a good idea to tell her you are going to have the tester ask the question about other affairs. I hope you are right, but I suspect you are not.

Might be a good idea to tell her you are going to have the tester ask the question about other affairs. I hope you are right, but I suspect you are not.

MelodyLane: I hope the Tester does ask me, cause there are no other men. I was doing fine, then I don't know the stress got to me, I let my guard down and I failed. Failed miserably....

We have seen many a WS lie. Not that we don't want to believe you. Just you are being compared to what we have seen other WS when they first come here.

Though I am very glad you are here.

Thing is when a WS comes here first we encourage them to get their BS her right away.
When an affair is on going we encourage the BH to delay geting the WS here until the affair has ended and NC is in place.

However whoever comes here first they and their spouse are advised not to post or read on each other's threads for awhile.

One reason people need to vent. The WS or BS comes here venting ripping their other half a new manurehole. The venter is helped through this phase by members here. But the ventee only heres the rant at face value and feels their getting beaten up.

Then you should have no problem passing a polygraph, right? About that and the story about no intercourse.

Have you told your children yet what you have done to their dad?

And, please, do not neglect to tell the 'boss' or your superiors about the affair.

I read the first few posts and your last few posts.

Do you have kids with her?

If not, then why do you feel that staying married to a woman that has cheated on you repeatedly is the best you can do?

If you�re still young, I�d D after multiple affairs, heal, and then be smarter about who you meet in the future. Women in their 30�s are awesome, BTW.

You can do better. Don�t settle in life. If you have no kids, bail.

D costs are nothing compared to a life of multiple betrayals. You�ll die a young man if you continue this.

I was going to let this post fall into the MB never to be read again oblivian, however W broght it back up, so I will post on it.
Slept 2 hours last night thinking about things, I decided it would be best to: 1. Tell our Supervisor of the situation, so there is understanding if things go down hill. Went well he was understanding, said he will work hard at getting OM out of here. 2. Tell the people in my office that I trust, for a little support, and so they understand what is going on... OK, I am not a good lier and broke when confronted by the guys as to what was going on. They offered to kill him for me, but knowing that info, I would be complicite and declined the offer

As for my W being here, please don't beat her up too much. It took a lot to get her to come her and face you all, I hate to see her get beat on too much (not that she doesn't deserve it)and give up on this sight, as it is one of our only lifelines at this point. Kind of lost the people we talked to with our problems.
Thanks again for the support!

Senn .......

I've read some of your WW's old posts under her 'smiling' name.
WW was raised by an alcoholic Mom.
WW learned avoidance of truth as a way to survive her childhood chaos.
Telling the truth to your kids will not be an easy thing for either of you.
It will especially be a difficult task for your WW.
WW was not raised to be truthful in an alcoholic home.
WW needs to practice truthfulness even when it is difficult.

You do not want your kids raised in a house where problems are denied.
You don't want your kids to learn to put on a fake 'smiling' face.

If your WW tries to talk you out of telling the kids, she is a lost cause.

Good job, SEM!

Please set your kids down tonight and tell them what their mother has done. Then call her parents, your parents, and close family members. Your kids need to know along with your other family members. You can't afford to cut corners this time if you expect to save this. The more people who know, the more people to hold her accountable. The more people who know, the more people to give you and your children SUPPORT.


Your wife is finally getting some REAL support from this board. If she runs off at the tough questions, that means she isn't serious. A person who is serious about recovery couldn't be run off by wild horses. We will see how serious she really is. Trust me, we won't be nearly as hard on her as she has been on her multitude of victims.

This is fantastic news! Good job, Senn; I'm pulling for ya'

Pepper,
We have discussed this and have agreed to tell the kids. They are 13 and 15 and are capable of understanding, and no doubt know there is something terrible going on in our home. My plan is to talk to them at the end of dinner tonight. We need them to understand as we need them to step up and be a little more helpful, stop the bickering and fighting for a bit as it is not helping at all.

Senn, I would not turn this into a critique of them. That will come across as very hypocritical and will be a distraction. This will be difficult enough without that distraction.

I would also explain to them that your families won't ever be in contact again and the reasons why.

Agree!
Plus, they may misinterpret this as ....
"Mom's adultery was caused by us stressing her out when we fight/bicker."

I made a different suggestion.
Please consider it.
And, don't have that "bickering" discussion when you do exposure.


This will be difficult for the kids and cause them heartache.
But, it is necessary.

DITTO!