Life lessons, the really important ones, hurt like hell !!!!!!!
That's a good thing.
The sting helps us remember.

What is important to your daughter is your relationship with HER, *NOT* your relationship with someone else. She is being forced to compete with some other woman and her kids and has been driven out of her home. Your daughter needs your attention much more than this woman.

Guess what ?


You're doing it again !

"A single atom of hope is all it takes..."

What is your daughter's fervent hope?

I can't help but notice how much you've romanticized this relationship.
It's like a veil has fallen over your vision.

She is a fixer too. She shows that she wants her mother and her father to be happy and has learned to take on that responsibility.

I've been trying to understand how to show her to be free starting years before I met my gf.

My daughter is tight lipped about her feelings. I guess she learned that lesson pretty well from me while her parents were still married.

She learned from watching her parents that by speaking up she will only be gaslighted so she rarely shares.

I was so very proud of her on xmas-eve...after the spat that the gf and her mother tried to manage.

DD was telling me about it and asking questions about fairness. Our bedrooms are catty corner from each other..she was standing just outside her room and I was standing inside mine (I was in my bedroom doing the xmas wrapping).

I was not seen by the gf who heard something going on about the spat and yelled up the stairs to "knock it off". My daughter looked at her and pointed at me and said "I'm talking to him". She had to say that twice. As she said it the second time I looked around the corner and was then seen by the gf who finally walked away.

She said it twice "I'm talking to him". I was so proud of her.

But this rarely happens. I've learned over the last few weeks just how much I stuff things too. I was never heard in a positive communicative way by her mother. She saw that I eventually stopped trying to communicate with her mother because I would always get bashed for it.

She learned that survival skill so well along with a few others that she doesn't feel confident in decision making or voicing her opinion...or even deciding what the correct opinion to have is.

One of the most frustrating and saddening things that started a very long time ago.

With all of that said, I believe that her fervent hope is for her parents to be together again.

Yes.

Yes...I am the fantasy romantic. One of my favorite movies is the Princes Bride. I guess you could say that this movie pretty much sums up what I want in life and have always believed was possible.

.... as you wish .....

The best I have at this very moment is the intention to write the farewell letter and hand deliver it this evening.

Which MB book are you going to commit to studying next?
How about "The One".

The One <~~~ LINK ..... previously know as Buyers/Renters/Freeloaders .

It's excellent.
All roads lead to POJA.

I wrote a thread about this book.
* here *

Pay attention.

I so got this. Loved that movie growing up!!

GG, so relieved to read this update. Really.

I have paid attention, with blinded hope and expectation. I've tried over the last 6 months to subtly introduce MB principles into the relationship...obviously a big fat FAIL on those attempts.

What update? The one where I publicly admit that I am a fantasy romantic? LOL

"as you wish" only works with bi-directional communication...I've "as you wished" my partners to the point of loosing myself.

PS:

Love me some Bob Pure.

You'll be OK.

Yes, I will commit to this study.

The sad fact is that I saw the freeloader early on and didn't believe that it was true. But it is what I have ended up with.

Nothing says it more than the fact that I was zombie man at work yesterday because she and her kids were up so late the night before...I came home after 9 hours away and bought pizza with the last of my money and then cleaned up a kitchen that I had no part in messing up (again).

Yeah, me too.

He invited me to visit him to catch my favorite band play...gave it up for love. HA!