Ahh, so it was to my good friend Pepperband instead? Well, I actually take a greater offense to people insulting my friends than when they insult me. You'll need to do much to get me back into any good graces. An apology might be a good start. Of course, she may not be willing to accept it.

We aren't here to hold your hand and say, "There there, everything will be alright." We are here to get you to where you need to be to no longer be wayward. That may take longer than 2Sweet is willing to wait, but for YOU, and your daughters, it can never be too late.

BTW, try to take your time to at least answer everyone's questions, they take time out of their lives to try to help you. It's only common courtesy to respond to their questions. You don't need to do it in individual posts, just ensure that you answer what needs to be.

The reason you think those comments were intelligent-butt is because of your big ole hairy wayward attitude. Not a snarky comment - the simple truth.

If you had any idea of the wisdom and beautiful character of Pep (assuming you were insulting her and not me), you would have some idea of the magnitude of what you've done.

Then again, if you were into sensing the magnitude of your actions, you would have sent that pesky No Contact letter months ago, be moved into another house with 2sweet already, and well along the road to recovery with her.

I just have to look at your whole situation and shake my head. The way you treat your beautiful BW, and the good folks who are volunteering their time to help you salvage the best thing in your life...

When are you going to stop shooting yourself in the foot?

Which reminds me of my neighbor, but that's another story for another day.

tsg, you are getting the help you asked for as per your thread title... now what you are going to do with it? Help is not waving a wand and fixing things for you. It is giving you advice and knowledge and then it is up to you having to do the hard yards on yourself.

Re-read the posts to you. It is encouraging you are reading this site and making the effort to post. But reading and posting is not enough. Answer the questions. ACT on what you learn.

Actions NOT words. All of us here have either heard the words of a wayward, or spoken them as a wayward (and many have earned the F for former). We know the words... we can see through them, we are tired of them. You need to SHOW 2sweet you ARE changing, not tell her you will.

So... What ACTIONS are you going to take today to stop being wayward? Number the actions... no other words are needed.

Good morning, Mr. 2sweet.

What are your plans for today? What ACTIONS will you take to show your BW that you are changing?

Are you ready to go NC with your OW?

tsg, where is that NCL to your OW?

hi
tanks to everyone try to help must be doing something right she staying i told everyone she best lady in the world i still got work to do and was wanting to know if yall want me to get it here looks like yall helped alot i so gald she here it would be really hurt for me raiseing the kids with her not herei would like to do something for her really speicel tonight any one got any ideals what could to for her
it can just be good it got to be great thanks

Hmmm, something great for 2sweet... WRITE THE NO CONTACT LETTER TO OW! Show it to your wife for her approval. And go with her to the post office to mail it. Step 1 tsg. You can't skip it if you want a shot at rebuilding your marriage.

And stop reading your wifes thread. You will not find your answers there u.less you want to manipulate her. That will not work. 2sweet knows better and she has the vets here to guide her. There is no quick fix. You need to do some serious work.

Step 1? Now get to work on that letter!

Tsg,

I am going to be very blunt with you. It seems you have not done one thing really to help 2s along in her recovery. Lots of questions were asked here and very few were answered.

Have you written out your list of extraordinary precautions? Have you written a no contact letter yet? I get the impression that you are manipulating 2s to get what you want, but are doing very little to help her.

These are 2 BIG...No, make that **HUGE** things you can do for her today. Even if you list them off and have her write them out for you and you sign off on them.

When was the last time you were in contact with your ex-wife?

CV

TSG --

Do you understand how devastated your wife is?

Yes she is a very strong and capable woman....but do you understand how very very HURT she is?

Because you are RESPONSIBLE for hurting her, you are now RESPONSIBLE for making it up to her. And you need to make it up to her in a way that is meaningful to HER, not you.

You don't get to decide how to fix things. You need to simply DO WHAT SHE HAS ASKED OF YOU.

Get to an attorney today. Have them draft a post-nuptial agreement. Put the house in trust for your children.
Those are things you could do RIGHT NOW that would show 2sweet that you are serious about fixing things.

The easiest action you could take would be to write a letter to the other woman and explain that you love 2sweet and that it was a HUGE mistake to get involved with her. Tell the other woman that you do not want to ever ever ever speak or hear from her again. Hand that letter to 2sweet, so that she can mail it and know for sure that it gets delivered to the other woman.

You don't get to break up with the other woman by yourself in private. Know why? Because then 2sweet will never be sure of what you said or how you said it. Its real important that your first loyalty is to your wife -- not to the other woman. So you must let 2sweet be a part of the ending of this affair.

and your first loyalty is not to yourself either.

CV

Sample NC letter (handwritten):


Although you tell her not to contact you, you need to take complete precautions on your own end.

Delete your email accounts. Delete your Facebook account. CHANGE all your phone numbers, and any other way in the world people use to get ahold of you.

IF you're serious about this, you can have this letter ready to mail within the next 90 minutes. You can have all your contact info changed by the end of the business day.

Your actions will tell the whole story.

what have you done today?

everyone here is waiting on you to answer a few questions follow a few simple directions. they are pretty easy, so..... why cant you do any of them or at least answer that you have?

opps another question.......

opps another question.......

C1 - I think you meant "oops". Try using two fingers.....

its the keyboard again, i hate laptop keyboards- gotta find the real one-

got it!!

I am all set eagerly awaiting tsg response.....

hi
well with the ? i guess yall still want to help me sorry about the 2 or 3 delay been very busy you can even ask *edit* i will be back today for some more help but got to cook right now oh *edit* (2sweet) but to answer looks like the big ?????NC letter well who need it LOL hey everyone im just kidding ok 2sweet and myself will drop it at post office in morning after we drop kids off from school i really hope it will make her feel as good as yall make it sound i will be right back got get food cooking thank you all and to the one made bad comment to sorry though you what just trying to be smart well u know sorry

TSG,

that was poor taste to write that about the NC letter. Do you such low regard for 2S and your marriage?

What did you write for your NC letter? Please write it here for us.

Also, please answer the questions about when the last time you saw/talked to your ex-wife and what EPs you've put in place.

Are you typing from a phone or a computer? If you are on a computer, could you please at least punctuate?

Thanks,


CV

And if you can't punctuate, please at least put in some paragraph breaks and spaces between them.

And I agree with CV, It's in very poor taste to mock the NC letter that way.

What the hey, chickadee. Take a walk on the wild side and try all ten!

Trying to act funny and making smart-assed comments when you have put your adoring wife through utter HELL is certainly NOT the best approach to take here. If you truly do want the help of these fine, generous people to right your crappy, sleazy adulterous ways I would suggest you put your big boy pants on and get to work.

I really do question your motives and sincerity about this. I mean SERIOUSLY question it. I sense absolutely NO remorse in you whatsoever. What I do sense is a guy that's used to getting what he wants with no real genuine or caring effort on his part. In other words...entitlement.

Guess what mate? Those days are gone as far as this marriage is concerned. So far you've shown me (and I'm sure others) you're not at all concerned over losing your marriage, but concerned about losing your control over your incredible wife.

And guess what? You HAVE.......